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Should I Move Out Of My Parent's House?


Nehssa

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I'm just gonna go ahead and start off by saying that I really want to move out, like ASAP, but I just don't know if it will be the right move for me at this point. 

 

For the past few years, I've been increasingly getting more and more depressed. My parents haven't really helped me with this, because they had a pretty traditional upbringing and they aren't really big on talking about feelings and such. I'm more than aware that my parents love me, but unfortunately their actions (or lack thereof) have contributed A LOT to my depression and it's only getting worse.

 

I have a boyfriend that is currently in the air force, and he is stationed overseas. We have been best friends ever since I was 16, I am 19 now. And we started dating this year. He's been one of the most supportive people in my life, and we were already planning to move in together once I finish school (getting my associate's degree.) 

 

However, my life has gotten really really bad as of recently. I left my job because of my anxiety, and my parents haven't really been supportive about it. They haven't even asked why, and I don't feel comfortable telling them why. My relationship with them has been like this for years. We've tried for a long time to communicate and build a better relationship, but I've just accepted that this is how they are and we both have to deal with it. I love them very much and I know they love me as well, but honestly I can't really handle how they show their love.  

 

 I've been wanting to move out for quite some time now, but the desire is getting stronger and stronger every day. I want to have more freedom and feel more independent. And I want to live with  my boyfriend. 

 

I'm really scared though, because I've never moved out before. I also will be moving across the country, since that is where my boyfriend will be stationed. I want to move before I even finish my degree, but I don't know if it will be possible to transfer my credits. I'll look for a job in the state where he is in as well. I just don't really know how everything will work, and my anxiety just wants to know all the details and be sure that everything is okay.

 

Basically, I just want to know... 

 

At this moment how do I know if I am ready to move out?

What should I do about my schooling situation? Tough it out for a year or try to transfer credits? 

How do I even adult? lol 

Edited by Nehssa
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Hi Nehssa,

 

First off welcome to DF!! :welcomeani: This is a wonderful place full of lots of wonderful people who will give great support and advice. 

Sounds to me like you're very ready to move, and that this move will be highly beneficial for you given the lack of support you are receiving at home & your increasing state of depression. I'm glad you have a very supportive boyfriend, that's so great!!

Moving across the country is a big endeavor though, and it can be scary, but very exciting too! But it does require planning ahead, which will help ease your anxieties as you start planning and gathering all the details & steps together.

Being in between jobs is a good time to be moving since you have the time to start planning. Do you have money saved, or could your boyfriend help with the cost of moving? That is a top factor; having the funds to be able to afford the move.

Provided you have the funds, you can start by looking into the different school programs in the area you wish to move to, and how many credits you have that will transfer. You'll want to pick the school that will transfer the most credits, naturally. And you may want to plan the timing of the move around when you can start classes.

 

You'll also want to determine what belongings you have that you wish to move with you, and whether you'll be shipping those out in boxes through a shipping company, or moving them with you if you have very little (assuming you're driving?). Either way, you can also start reducing what you own by getting rid of unneeded clothing, etc. You can hold a sale to get rid of extra belongings too.

 

I don't know where you're located in the world, but doing your research on shipping companies and finding the most affordable is also advised (if you're going to ship). I've moved across the country twice myself in the US and just went through this process myself...

 

The process can seem overwhelming and daunting at first, but once you break it down into bite size pieces and take one step at a time, it's more manageable. You can make a list of the steps and cross them off your list as you go.

 

Moving is a lot of work, but it's so very exciting when you're moving across the country. It's an adventure to plan for! :)

 

Hope this helps a little, best of luck & keep us posted...

 

Hugs,

Havehope

 

 

 

 

Edited by havehope
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You need to think very carefully about moving out.  Make sure you have a backup solution if the plan with your boyfriend does not work out.  If you only have a year left of school, I would finish the degree where you are. 

 

I recently moved about a year ago across the country to live near family.  They told me that we would all support and help each other out, but in the end I helped them without getting much in return.  Now I am stuck in a place where I do not know many people and don't have much support.  It is going to take a long time for me to return to a state of normalcy.  I am not telling you this to scare you.  I just want you to realize that plans do not always turn out like they should, and you need to have a backup solution.

 

Keep in mind that none of us truly know what your situation is like and how you are feeling, so do not just take our advice and run with it.  You need to discuss this with your family and boyfriend. 

 

I wish you the best of luck!  Keep us posted!

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