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Introversion


stardreamer

Introverted or extroverted?  

71 members have voted

  1. 1. Are you introverted or extroverted?

    • Very introverted
      44
    • Somewhat or sometimes introverted
      10
    • Somewhere in between, or it varies
      13
    • Somewhat or sometimes extroverted
      0
    • Very extroverted
      2
    • Neither
      1
    • Other
      1


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I voted very introverted. I've taken a couple of those personality tests and they both said INTJ. I'm not surprised to be honest. Being around people for long amounts of time tires me out. I have trust issues as well and I still find it pretty amazing when people are nice to me.

Hugs you இڿڰۣ-ڰۣ— Most people in the big cities are not trustworthy...they are just cunning and not honest so you have to reflexively take defensive measures when being in a relation with them.

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Also an INTJ.  But not as INTJ as my husband.  I'm more 'I' than he is but he is waaaaay more 'J' than I am - so much so he thinks I'm a 'P'. 

 

I have been INTJ since my first Myers-Briggs test but I am gravitating more to the middle ground that last cpl of years.  It's possible to change.  I still need alone time to decompress. 

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Also an INTJ.  But not as INTJ as my husband.  I'm more 'I' than he is but he is waaaaay more 'J' than I am - so much so he thinks I'm a 'P'. 

 

I have been INTJ since my first Myers-Briggs test but I am gravitating more to the middle ground that last cpl of years.  It's possible to change.  I still need alone time to decompress. 

the weird thing is, a really long time ago when i hadn't really "found myself" yet, when i was basically absorbing the energy of some people i was around at that time, i tested as ISTJ, on the real, paid version of the test. like 10 years later, it was INFJ and i think that was way more accurate. it can definitely change over time

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I'm extremely introverted and also very shy, which is a double whammy if ever there was one.  We are supposed to be social animals, but to be honest I'm pretty unsociable and I do genuinely find most social interaction in person quite tiring, even being with family members and other people known to me.  I have recently been blessed however to be living in Portugal, where the native people have been really kind to me, although they are very family oriented so that being completely alone is not the way many of them choose to live.  Previously in the UK I felt mistrusted and generally disadvantaged by these inward looking character traits, but much less so here.  Whatever any of us may think, people are certainly not the same wherever you go and sometimes it pays to be a bit more open minded and allow them to help us, because sooner or later, we are going to need it.

Edited by FinallySeekingHelp
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Stardreamer I have to say you sound like an INF. I can usually spot NF's a mile away. I think that whole not wanting to speak to people that don't have something real to say seems to be related not only to introversion but to NF's. 

 

I am an INFP.  I don't seem like a Feeling person always as I express a lot of logic outwardly and feeling inwardly. I don't loose my temper but again I think some NF's have developed a lot of logic skills and that moderates the rest. I was also shamed and bullied and worse for having feelings so that side of me had to be dug up and allowed out. I am an NF who had separated themselves from their  feelings and had to learn to find and connect with them. As a result I often feel like a T and F at the same time and not in the middle of the two. I feel split. In the past I thought I was a T. 

 

It seems to me that like me  some F's think they are T's when they are F's. I know someone who did mysers briggs typing professionally and incorrectly thought she was a T until various things shook her self constructed walls open. She is in fact very F. From what I understand - a good way to tell is if the very first thought one has in response to a situation is logic or feeling. If it is feeling and then logic takes over its a feeling trait. If you have to fire someone would you first think of the effect on the person or the practicalities of the situation? You can never tell how introverted or extroverted someone is by how they seem to react to others. Only by asking them how tiring it was. 

 

Another point to make is that introversion doesnt comment on how socially skilled someone is. It is about where someone gets their energy and where their focus is. Externally in the outside world or internally in their heads. Or a bit of both. I am considered a social butterfly these days and am very good with people (even though it has taken a lot to be able to feel that about myself) but too much exposure to people would be too much even without the triggers and other stuff. 

 

Trauma and avoidance are so intertwined and it can be such a job separating that from the stuff that is rather about who we are not what we are dealing with. The trauma isnt you and is just something that happened to you. 

Edited by Fizzle
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Gosh, introverted.

 

I've got friends and acquaintances, and around them I'm a silly fool.  I've been forcing myself to attend practices weekly, doing the usual grocery/household product shopping, and have joined a couple of astronomy clubs, but otherwise I'm astonishingly shy.

 

I'm always afraid I'm way too ugly or don't know the inside jokes or will say something stupid...

 

IF I'm ever at a party or happy hour or other gathering, the combined voices almost always merge into a hideous roar which I then need to escape... NOW.

 

It's hard to be socially skillful when meeting and being around others is so painful.

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e I'm astonishingly shy.

 

I'm always afraid I'm way too ugly or don't know the inside jokes or will say something stupid...

 

 

It's hard to be socially skillful when meeting and being around others is so painful.

Hi Ratboy! 

These aren't related to introversion. :) 

 

 

 

IF I'm ever at a party or happy hour or other gathering, the combined voices almost always merge into a hideous roar which I then need to escape... NOW.

 

 

This is!! Usually. 

Edited by Fizzle
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Stardreamer I have to say you sound like an INF. I can usually spot NF's a mile away. I think that whole not wanting to speak to people that don't have something real to say seems to be related not only to introversion but to NF's. 

 

I am an INFP.  I don't seem like a Feeling person always as I express a lot of logic outwardly and feeling inwardly. I don't loose my temper but again I think some NF's have developed a lot of logic skills and that moderates the rest. I was also shamed and bullied and worse for having feelings so that side of me had to be dug up and allowed out. I am an NF who had separated themselves from their  feelings and had to learn to find and connect with them. As a result I often feel like a T and F at the same time and not in the middle of the two. I feel split. In the past I thought I was a T. 

 

It seems to me that like me  some F's think they are T's when they are F's. I know someone who did mysers briggs typing professionally and incorrectly thought she was a T until various things shook her self constructed walls open. She is in fact very F. From what I understand - a good way to tell is if the very first thought one has in response to a situation is logic or feeling. If it is feeling and then logic takes over its a feeling trait. If you have to fire someone would you first think of the effect on the person or the practicalities of the situation? You can never tell how introverted or extroverted someone is by how they seem to react to others. Only by asking them how tiring it was. 

 

Another point to make is that introversion doesnt comment on how socially skilled someone is. It is about where someone gets their energy and where their focus is. Externally in the outside world or internally in their heads. Or a bit of both. I am considered a social butterfly these days and am very good with people (even though it has taken a lot to be able to feel that about myself) but too much exposure to people would be too much even without the triggers and other stuff. 

 

Trauma and avoidance are so intertwined and it can be such a job separating that from the stuff that is rather about who we are not what we are dealing with. The trauma isnt you and is just something that happened to you. 

yes, the NF part of it (and really, the I as well) are not in question. definitely not a T.

the I... i guess i am used to being alone since i was a child. i had to spend long periods of time essentially by myself (and also in situations where there were only adults around and i was expected to not bother them) and learn how to amuse my own self since i was a little kid. so i guess in a way i am used to the solitude. i like having the solitude and honestly most of the time i just don't want to be bombarded with the energy of the world. so i like to be alone. 

still though, having depression there are times when i am very glad that there are other people on the other side of my door who i know, who i can go talk to without making too much effort. it's nice just to know someone is there even if i don't interact with them that day. i used to not feel that way... during the first year when i lived with people for the first time in a long time, i was basically freaking out and couldn't really handle the fact that i could never get completely away from people. now i'm more used to it, it has taken a while though. there is something about being in your own space without interference from others that is relaxing. 

 

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I was also shamed and bullied and worse for having feelings so that side of me had to be dug up and allowed out. I am an NF who had separated themselves from their  feelings and had to learn to find and connect with them. 

yes me too. i was basically conditioned to the idea that not having emotions was the way it was supposed to be, and that any time i expressed emotion it was childish... it took me a long time to stop apologizing to people for feeling emotions. i always felt them... but i am sure i used to suppress a lot more emotions, which eventually came out over time, not a fun process

Edited by stardreamer
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I used to be extremely introverted. Pretty much just cooped up in my room except for when I needed to go to sixth form or uni. I even found going out with friends very taxing. Few years ago though I lost weight, got my first proper job, and met my first girlfriend. Since then I have become single and jobless and am admittedly struggling again but somehow my default level of confidence has risen.

At heart I seem to have a very impulsive, flashy, extrovert side to me but it's bogged down by various bullying voices in my head that tell me I shouldn't be like that cause people will hate me. There are often times now where things are out of my comfort zone (dating I struggle with again) or I'm just tired of human interaction. But despite my inner pessimist, I know that I'm better than I used to be - running writing and film clubs, attending events such as conventions, and trying new social hobbies. And that's something.

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I'm introverted. I completely understand what you mean about being very picky and selective about friends. I believe it's equally important to know who to keep out of your life as who to take in. Lot of human parasites out there that will take everything from you and leave you high and dry. 

 

I'm fed up of constantly being seen as inferior to extroverts just because I'm not an attention-seeking, bolshy, centre-of-the-universe, loud-mouth. Seriously, I've been rejected from jobs because of this cr*p. 

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Im still pretty convinced that a lot of people think they are more introverted than they really are because they arent aware that shyness, depressive symptoms, anxiety symptoms, social phobia, poor self esteem,  trust issues etc are not introversion.. But I'll shut up now as I'm sure everyone is tired of hearing my voice and I certainly am!  :blush21:

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i don,t like how people are saying there introverted because they have low self confidence that makes no sense i talk to random people and im assertive all the time i speak up before anyone else does!!Just because you have social anxiety doesn,t mean your introverted geez i joined clubs talked to tons of people and i never felt shy once,I just didn,t like doing it because i find people irritating if im around them to long and get bored.i like going to parties and talking to people,just not people i don,t like and not for to long,i don,t like to bs people i would rather read a book then hang around and bull with people about pointless .This thread is making me mad,because i am sick of people implying other people who don,t talk much are shy,who the hell do they think, they are telling me im shy and scared of them because i don,t like them when to talk when I don,t feel like it and i don,t have to it makes my blood boil,most of the time when i don,t talk its because i don,t like who im around lol but can,t say that,and get away with it.

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i don,t like how people are saying there introverted because they have low self confidence that makes no sense i talk to random people and im assertive all the time i speak up before anyone else does!!Just because you have social anxiety doesn,t mean your introverted.

 

That seems to be an issue when people try to determine what is "introvert" as opposed to "extrovert". Like you said, low self-esteem and anxiety don't mean you're introvert nor does being introvert mean you have low self-esteem and anxiety. In its simplest terms:

 

introverts = lose energy dealing with people, recharge alone

extrovert = lose energy when alone, recharge with people

 

Everyone likes to make it about "shyness" or other facets because society views "extrovert traits" as good or successful so by default they assume "introvert traits" are without use or value

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Im still pretty convinced that a lot of people think they are more introverted than they really are because they arent aware that shyness, depressive symptoms, anxiety symptoms, social phobia, poor self esteem,  trust issues etc are not introversion.. But I'll shut up now as I'm sure everyone is tired of hearing my voice and I certainly am!  :blush21:

 

Always glad to be enlightened, Fizzle... keep on keeping on!

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i don,t like how people are saying there introverted because they have low self confidence that makes no sense i talk to random people and im assertive all the time i speak up before anyone else does!!Just because you have social anxiety doesn,t mean your introverted.

 

That seems to be an issue when people try to determine what is "introvert" as opposed to "extrovert". Like you said, low self-esteem and anxiety don't mean you're introvert nor does being introvert mean you have low self-esteem and anxiety. In its simplest terms:

 

introverts = lose energy dealing with people, recharge alone

extrovert = lose energy when alone, recharge with people

 

Everyone likes to make it about "shyness" or other facets because society views "extrovert traits" as good or successful so by default they assume "introvert traits" are without use or value

 

 

100% this I hate when people call me anti social and say I don,t like people,just because I don,t feel like making small talk to everyone,I regret being friendly sometimes because then the person expects me to talk to them everytime I see them,sometimes I just want to get in and out of somewhere and im not in the mood to deal with others,or I just have nothing I want to talk about,I am so lazy I don,t ant try to invent something I did or want to say just to appease other people,at work im fine because im getting paid for it and can be real social.People assume im  shy when I don,t talk to them most of the time its because I have nothing to say,it irrates me so much when other people think that just because I don,t talk to them that means i never want to talk most of times it because there a douche bag to everyone around them,and I don,t want to be involved with them but I still have to fake being nice,or I make more problems for myself,so the extroverts needs are always catered to and mine are discarded.Im not anti social I just don,t like you because you irrate me and your a as s hole to the people around you,I like other people just fine but not you,I wish i could just tell people that nd have to go thru the whole faking niceness thing just so they leave me alone,SO I don,t have to deal with all the drama they create.

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Extremely introverted, but I always have been.  My most recent Myers-Briggs (6/2015) turned up INFJ.  (thanks for the Myers tip, fizzle, though I'm still convinced I did it wrong). 

 

I've always been more of an observer and philosopher at heart, and living with disassociation most of my life has only reinforced that tendency.  I very rarely get the urge to get up and get involved, and when I do, it is with people I am already familiar or comfortable with.  I don't sit on the sidelines because I'm afraid to step in, I sit on the sidelines because that's how I 'participate'. 

 

Because I've lived with disassociation most of my life, I have difficulty forming proper attachments with people.  Even family members will tell you they feel a great deal of 'distance' from me.  I only have one or two 'friends,' besides family, but I am insanely loyal to the ones I have. This overblown sense of loyalty means that I can't really handle having too many friends, because when they disagree it tears me apart inside.  People who work with me describe me as 'difficult to know,' 'cold,' 'aloof.'   I am learning to be more open with people I work with, but it is really difficult for me to learn.  The hardest part of my job is actually what others might see as the easiest: taking the time to 'shoot the breeze' with people when they come in. 

 

I find it easier to connect here on DF because I can share, yet maintain physical distance, and the primary method of communication is writing. I can also identify with dragonwings' comment about not feeling comfortable with hugs. (even though I use the hugs emoji alot when I greet new members)  I've never been a very physically affectionate person, and I've had to teach myself to tolerate hugs gracefully because they are meant to convey love and affection.  Great thread, btw!

Edited by 20YearsandCounting
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I'm very very much an introvert.  Being with other people exhausts me to no end.  I haven't really had any good friends for quite a few years that I like enough to spend a lot of time with them.  My best friend is really only one, but he lives in Washington and I live in Arizona.  I'm wondering if I have the right friends if I would feel less introverted.  It doesn't help I work retail, and I'm a manager, so I'm dealing with people all day long.  By the time I get home, I just want to be alone.  I've finally started to feel lonely sometimes though and that's pretty new for me.  I'm usually just fine being alone, but lately I haven't even gone out much or done anything even on my own.  I just really don't know how to make friends anymore.

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