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Does Anyone Else Feel Like It's Too Hard?


callisto

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How do you get motivated to do the things that would help depression??? I WANT to do these things. But I feel like I CAN'T. Some days I don't even care b/c I wanna die anyway. Is there some point where you reach a place of being able to do these things? Ya know, exercising, eating right, etc. How do you get there??? I just don't get it. And I've tried. Any suggestions are helpful! Thanks.

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i got this book, 'get it done when you're depressed', supposedly it offers strategies of how to do practical things when depressed, written by somebody who has gone through it. i haven't read it yet but people say it has relevant info.
one part i did read about the book, was where it said, you are never going to feel motivated, so stop waiting until you do. and that made so much sense to me. supposedly the book talks about stuff you can do to make that happen. i plan on reading it soon

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basic stuff:
here are some things i have found that help stabilize the situation.

1. make sure you eat enough. it's hard to care about eating sometimes when you're depressed, but "not eating" is something that i've found makes my mental state worse. 

2. drink enough water.
3. eat healthy/take vitamins. it's well-known that vitamin/nutrient deficiencies can cause or contribute to depression. so this is a good base to cover.
4. sleep enough. i can say from various instances of personal experience, that not sleeping enough definitely makes the symptoms worse. they say that serotonin can't replenish itself if you don't sleep at least 7 hours. so make sure you get enough sleep for your body to recover and repair itself.

5. meditate. this is a big one... personally i've found that "not meditating" is one of the worst things i can do. even if you start with just a few minutes a day, keep going at it and work up. this significantly helps you gain peace of mind.

6. just take a walk for like 7 minutes a day. this won't take much time and it helps in terms of exercise. eventually you can work up to something more.
7. stand in the sunlight some every day or every other day... vitamin D absorbs through the skin and improves mood. (if you take a walk in the sunlight, you can get #6 and #7 done at the same time.)

I have found that consistently doing these all the time helps keep the base threshold of mood from going into a really bad place. it raises the general level of mood. and if you can do these things, then eventually you can do more. just start small but be consistent.


 

Edited by stardreamer
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do you take any stimulants? my doctor gave me adderall a few years ago because he said it helps with depression. I love my family, and I don't like to see them suffering because of my illness, therefore to be honest with you, if I need to get something done, I think about them and get it done. The smile on their face is rewarding to me.

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How do you get motivated to do the things that would help depression??? I WANT to do these things. But I feel like I CAN'T. Some days I don't even care b/c I wanna die anyway. Is there some point where you reach a place of being able to do these things? Ya know, exercising, eating right, etc. How do you get there??? I just don't get it. And I've tried. Any suggestions are helpful! Thanks.

 

I SOOOO get this!

 

(This also reminds me of the impasse I reached with my therapist that led me to quit therapy.  "You just need to get out more, meet people, do things... " "Yeah.  I know.  BUT I CAN'T.  So what else ya got?")

 

Anyway, at least when I was working, it was easy.  If I wanted to live/contribute/salt away $$$ for retirement, I HAD to get up, shower, brush the snags, drive in, interact.  When my mother was alive, I had to (OK, I don't mean it like THAT!) interact w/ her and others on her behalf - take her to the store, doctors, relatives' houses, etc...

 

She died on 01/01/13.  Work laid me off on 01/01/14.

 

So now I'm unfocused,  Sure, it's a great life.  I don't HAVE to do anything!  I can lay in bed and sleep all day if I want to.  Sit in the backyard and read on warm, sunny days.  Have lunch with friends when I choose.  But this also has a hideous downside.  It also means that I can go for days without showering.  I can easily talk myself out of working out.  I can decide what to eat and when, and what to buy at the grocery store.  And, while I know that fruits and vegetables and salads and such are part of a good, balanced diet, they sure aren't as fun and tasty (to me) as meats, pastas, and snacks.  And Coke or Pepsi tastes wonderful!

 

As I posted in another thread, I just need to find some disciplinary trigger that mimics work.  In fact, our Buddhist leader years ago said to become a monk, we had to approach Buddhism as a second job.  So I need to make my life my job now.  Five - six days a week.  Get up. Shower.  Eat a good breakfast.  Brush my teeth.  And spend several hours doing SOMETHING good for me.  And that includes the social self.  Participating in groups/organizations.  Volunteer.  Get into some sort of non-depressive routine to get me through my days.

 

I haven't found a way yet, but I'm trying, and I think I'm close.  At least I've diagnosed part of the problem.

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  • 4 months later...

 

How do you get motivated to do the things that would help depression??? I WANT to do these things. But I feel like I CAN'T. Some days I don't even care b/c I wanna die anyway. Is there some point where you reach a place of being able to do these things? Ya know, exercising, eating right, etc. How do you get there??? I just don't get it. And I've tried. Any suggestions are helpful! Thanks.

 

I SOOOO get this!

 

(This also reminds me of the impasse I reached with my therapist that led me to quit therapy.  "You just need to get out more, meet people, do things... " "Yeah.  I know.  BUT I CAN'T.  So what else ya got?")

 

Anyway, at least when I was working, it was easy.  If I wanted to live/contribute/salt away $$$ for retirement, I HAD to get up, shower, brush the snags, drive in, interact.  When my mother was alive, I had to (OK, I don't mean it like THAT!) interact w/ her and others on her behalf - take her to the store, doctors, relatives' houses, etc...

 

She died on 01/01/13.  Work laid me off on 01/01/14.

 

So now I'm unfocused,  Sure, it's a great life.  I don't HAVE to do anything!  I can lay in bed and sleep all day if I want to.  Sit in the backyard and read on warm, sunny days.  Have lunch with friends when I choose.  But this also has a hideous downside.  It also means that I can go for days without showering.  I can easily talk myself out of working out.  I can decide what to eat and when, and what to buy at the grocery store.  And, while I know that fruits and vegetables and salads and such are part of a good, balanced diet, they sure aren't as fun and tasty (to me) as meats, pastas, and snacks.  And Coke or Pepsi tastes wonderful!

 

As I posted in another thread, I just need to find some disciplinary trigger that mimics work.  In fact, our Buddhist leader years ago said to become a monk, we had to approach Buddhism as a second job.  So I need to make my life my job now.  Five - six days a week.  Get up. Shower.  Eat a good breakfast.  Brush my teeth.  And spend several hours doing SOMETHING good for me.  And that includes the social self.  Participating in groups/organizations.  Volunteer.  Get into some sort of non-depressive routine to get me through my days.

 

I haven't found a way yet, but I'm trying, and I think I'm close.  At least I've diagnosed part of the problem.

 

yup i can relate to this post

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  • 3 months later...
On Friday, September 11, 2015 at 9:35 PM, callisto said:

Thank you, I appreciate your responses. Being a perfectionist didn't help me much but I'll try. :)

Being a perfectionist makes you want everything to work the way you see it should in your head. You can go through your whole plan to get stuff done in your head and say yes, I'm going to do this, this and this.  You start making lists and deciding the order of things to get done or steps to change yourself.  But spend so much time worrying that everything is perfect, you decide it's not going to be worth it and quit or have no energy left to physically get it done. If you do start something, you can work on it, but one slip up and the perfect plan is ruined. Or someone comes in and changes that one smallest thing or interrupts. People call me just a procrastinator but it's not that I don't want to get things done.  My brain says it's not right and will never work.  I almost need to be rich and famous with one of those personal assistance's to push me and just to tell me everyday to get up and get s*** done. Lol

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 One of the posters said that their therapist said "You just need to get out there and start meeting people and doing things."  Yeah, I've had a few therapists say that to me too. And that pithy advice is also what led me to quit therapy  also. I figured, that I really didn't want to actually pay for that kind of advice, and that I would rather spend my money on different things that may help my depression than stay with a therapist that was so flippant about my life.

So I started taking natural supplements. For me it was trial and error and a lot of research to see which ones are working for me.  They help. I don't think it's a cure but I do feel a subtle shift. I have also been listening to some of the sleep hypnosis videos on youtube.  Hey, I have really nothing to lose at this point so if I can get some positive subliminal messages while I sleep.......... Anyway, I do think that they are helpful. At the very least, they do help me get to sleep much faster. (You may need to try a few different ones to find the style, an voice that you like.

I have also started meditating. I can do about 15 minutes only. And yes I really do struggle with meditating. I do fall asleep on many occasions, but there are other days when I don't fall asleep, so for me, that is progress in itself.  Again, there are many styles of meditation, so you will probably want to try different ones to see which type you would like to pursue.

My biggest focus has been exercise though. I have never been a consistent exerciser nor considered athletic. But I finally found a walk/tunning  program that I have been sticking to because it helps me practice mindfulness while I am exercising.

One of the biggest things that has motivated me, is that every morning I make sure to get dressed.. If I don't accomplish anything else on that day, at least I got dressed.

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On 10/09/2015 at 1:20 AM, stardreamer said:

i got this book, 'get it done when you're depressed', supposedly it offers strategies of how to do practical things when depressed, written by somebody who has gone through it. i haven't read it yet but people say it has relevant info.
one part i did read about the book, was where it said, you are never going to feel motivated, so stop waiting until you do. and that made so much sense to me. supposedly the book talks about stuff you can do to make that happen. i plan on reading it soon

Basically that's how I function. When I have it bad, I force myself to do stuff, even if it's just the bare essentials, sometimes as form of punishment. 

Sometimes I do stuff just to keep up the appearance of" being normal". I let no one know how bad it can get.

As yet I haven't found real motivation for anything.

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On 10/09/2015 at 8:13 PM, callisto said:

How do you get motivated to do the things that would help depression??? I WANT to do these things. But I feel like I CAN'T. Some days I don't even care b/c I wanna die anyway. Is there some point where you reach a place of being able to do these things? Ya know, exercising, eating right, etc. How do you get there??? I just don't get it. And I've tried. Any suggestions are helpful! Thanks.

I get this! At that point I find I can always repeat a few words over and over. I say God forgive me a thousand times (takes about half an hour). then I can get on with it.

Another way is to say to yourself any words to the effect of; 'My head is making the decisions right now, not my heart (feelings); my brain has decided to do it and my heart is not allowed a say in the matter'.

 

On 10/09/2015 at 8:13 PM, callisto said:

 

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On September 10, 2015 at 5:28 PM, stardreamer said:

basic stuff:
here are some things i have found that help stabilize the situation.

1. make sure you eat enough. it's hard to care about eating sometimes when you're depressed, but "not eating" is something that i've found makes my mental state worse. 

2. drink enough water.
3. eat healthy/take vitamins. it's well-known that vitamin/nutrient deficiencies can cause or contribute to depression. so this is a good base to cover.
4. sleep enough. i can say from various instances of personal experience, that not sleeping enough definitely makes the symptoms worse. they say that serotonin can't replenish itself if you don't sleep at least 7 hours. so make sure you get enough sleep for your body to recover and repair itself.

5. meditate. this is a big one... personally i've found that "not meditating" is one of the worst things i can do. even if you start with just a few minutes a day, keep going at it and work up. this significantly helps you gain peace of mind.

6. just take a walk for like 7 minutes a day. this won't take much time and it helps in terms of exercise. eventually you can work up to something more.
7. stand in the sunlight some every day or every other day... vitamin D absorbs through the skin and improves mood. (if you take a walk in the sunlight, you can get #6 and #7 done at the same time.)

I have found that consistently doing these all the time helps keep the base threshold of mood from going into a really bad place. it raises the general level of mood. and if you can do these things, then eventually you can do more. just start small but be consistent.


 

Sorry, but I don't know much about meditating.. How exactly do you meditate? Are you just sitting there in deep thought, or how do you do it?

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