Jump to content

Just Curious (Poll)


novangel

What was your childhood like?  

85 members have voted

  1. 1. Choose the options that best describe your childhood situation

    • My relationship with only my Mother was strained
      12
    • My relationship with only my Father was strained
      16
    • My relationship with BOTH parents was strained
      33
    • My childhood was relatively normal and mostly happy growing up
      19
    • My parents relationship with each other was highly dysfunctional
      38
    • I was abandonded or never knew my parents (adopted or raised by other family members)
      5
    • Mental illness runs in my family
      45
    • Substance abuse runs in my family
      21
    • Other (explain only if you want to)
      9


Recommended Posts

I chose other as well to describe what my childhood was like as there were a lot of influences outside my direct family that made my childhood difficult alongside the internal ones. Not meaning the bullying although it didnt help and I think for many is a bigger factor, 

 

Mental illness in my family is more about personality disorders and difficult experiences and not about depression or conditions like schizophrenia or bipolar. Having family with all types of mental health issues must be a strain on children regardless too. 

Edited by Fizzle
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I like the direction of your poll but I think you need more options. "Suffered child abuse by parent" is not even listed. "Suffered other abuse by non-parents while a child" might be something else to add. And also bullying. People have been through a lot of sh-t. "Relationship with parent is strained" is a very cute statement that does not even begin to cover it for a lot of people. 

 

Childhood can be an especially big factor since it happened so young, and imprinted on your thoughts at a young age. Also, other types of trauma are major sources of depression, including trauma suffered while an adult. 

I suspect that a large percentage of depressed people have suffered at least one form of abuse or trauma in their lives. Maybe I will make a poll about it.

Edited by stardreamer
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was depressed from a very early age.  My grandmother used to call me a, "Melancholy Boy" or a, "Little Old Man," But I did not become severely depressed until I was in Graduate School.  My father was an Alcoholic, he is in recovery.  My mother suffers from severe anxiety and has an eating disorder.  My sister has a couple of different forms of diagnosed mental illness.  All four of my grandparents had some form of mental illness.  That's why I do not beat myself up about my depression.  Genetically I was doomed and considering that I have not done too bad.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've never felt doomed in my entire life but found being a teenager quite painful because of extreme shyness. This might have seemed an endearing characteristic in a young child, but not as an adolescent (for me anyway).  Not sure I've ever truly recovered from the experience because it put me behind the clock as far as forming lasting relationships is concerned.  Or for that matter, personal relationships of any kind.  So in a roundabout way I agree with original post, although as far as the poll goes, I should perhaps add that my parents had little or nothing to do with it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My mom and dad divorced when I was 8. Then we moved so I had to start 4th grade in a new school. My mom remarried and my stepdad adopted me. He was a great guy. Both my parents were good people and treated me well. However, my mom and stepdad were both alcoholics. I remember being kind of disgusted with their behavior when they got really drunk (they didn't get mean, but they'd get stupid).

 

My stepdad taught me the value of work, and also the value of helping others. I'd be a real mess, or maybe de@d if my mom hadn't married him. 

 

I had terrible ADD as a kid, way before they knew what that was. It caused me to get in a lot of trouble at school. My grades were OK, but I didn't always do well in the classroom. By high school, I was a little better but to this day, I have a nasty time concentrating.

 

One more thing...I inherited a genetic disease from my mom. It's slowly eating up my lungs and I've already lost a kidney to cancer. Yay.

Edited by JD4010
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I like the direction of your poll but I think you need more options. "Suffered child abuse by parent" is not even listed. "Suffered other abuse by non-parents while a child" might be something else to add. And also bullying. People have been through a lot of sh-t. "Relationship with parent is strained" is a very cute statement that does not even begin to cover it for a lot of people. 

 

Childhood can be an especially big factor since it happened so young, and imprinted on your thoughts at a young age. Also, other types of trauma are major sources of depression, including trauma suffered while an adult. 

I suspect that a large percentage of depressed people have suffered at least one form of abuse or trauma in their lives. Maybe I will make a poll about it.

 

Yeah, I guess I should've added bullying (didn't think of it but put "other" in case I forgot something) but "strained relationship with parent" could mean abuse..I was being cute for a reason. I didn't want to be too intrusive. I'm new here.

Edited by novangel
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think wording it like that is a good idea as it can cover a range of things and  even though abuse of course harms horribly as does witnessing abuse I think many fairly "simple" things can make children vulnerable to depression later.

 

Like not being seen or heard. Or not having their emotions reflected back to them. Often no harm intended and maybe just because the parent has their own issues but children need to have their needs met and emotions regulated to be able to grow up and meet their own needs and regulate their own emotions. If they cant then all sorts can  happen like depression and anxiety for example. 

Edited by Fizzle
Link to comment
Share on other sites

feelinglostagain, 

 

i don't think there was any intention to invalidate certain types of experience if that is how you feel. Its a tricky one as many of us are likely triggered with more direct language (and without it too and just the general topic) and others potentially by the enormity not being presented. Or both.. Having a very specific category could feel exposing and triggering for some too. As could it be as is.  Its always going to be tricky when dealing with topics like this is one has a history of serious harm as we all can be set off by different things. . I hope you are OK. And everyone else too. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had a great and happy childhood and I had a loving and supportive relationship with my parents. Those were the years when I was truly happy and loving life, although I was just your typical naive kid. Although the love and support never faded from my parents, those happy times are gone and now I live with depression and intense self-disappointment. I would love to return to those earlier years where I was still happy and optimistic about life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"My relationship with BOTH parents was strained "

"My parents relationship with each other was highly dysfunctional "

"Mental illness runs in my family "

 

These. Do psychopathy count as mental illness? I've got a full psychopath grandfather and am pretty sure my mother's inherited a lot of his bad traits. On the other side I've got a very eccentric to say the least grandmother, and my father was a drug addict who got kicked out when I wasn't even a year old, and got replaced with a verbally abusive stepfather who liked to threaten to hang me from the basement wall using a hammer and nails.

Edited by SenorDomino
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My father and I had a distant relationship that became even more strained as I got older. He was an alcoholic, but would not admit it and never was in recovery. Mom was a quiet woman, and I think a little intimidated by my dad, she was a quiet support, but would never step up and confront him. My older sister was a nasty bully, strange as we are quite close now in our later years (I am 58, she is 70).

 

Depression and alcoholism seems to run in my family. I am a recovering alcoholic. I don't have any contact with either of my parents' relatives, but I understand from some "talk" years ago, I have a cousin or two that have mental health and addiction issues. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Triggered me also, had to stop myself from writing a snippy defensive upset post.

 

Why would my post upset you?? Sorry I didn't cover ALL bases but there's only so many options I could put for the hundreds of reasons a person could be depressed which is why I included the "other" option. I'm well aware that it's more than just home life but I was just curious since mine was so dysfunctional. We're all in this together you know.. Sorry you and Stardreamer took it as I was not validating you guys in some way. I don't know how an innocent poll turned into something negative. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

Triggered me also, had to stop myself from writing a snippy defensive upset post.

 

Why would my post upset you?? Sorry I didn't cover ALL bases but there's only so many options I could put for the hundreds of reasons a person could be depressed which is why I included the "other" option. I'm well aware that it's more than just home life but I was just curious since mine was so dysfunctional. We're all in this together you know.. Sorry you and Stardreamer took it as I was not validating you guys in some way. I don't know how an innocent poll turned into something negative. 

 

 

Yeah I don't get the meaning of those posts or how this is triggering at all either

I see nothing wrong with this thread

Edited by SenorDomino
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had a wonderful childhood with great parents and my younger brother. I was a happy child but I've always been anxious. Mental illness does run at my moms side of the family, pretty much any woman has some sort of mental illness.. I never knew though until I got one myself at the age of 17. So I do believe the main reason for my former depression and anxiety are because it's simply in my genes since I had a great childhood and I've never been through a huge trauma or anything like that.

Edited by Cupcake_girl
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I simply shared my reaction, did not say I felt invalidated, did not attack anyone, but certainly now feel invalidated and attacked.

 

Just what I needed.

 

Thanks so much

 

No one's attacking you.. Just didn't understand your post or what in this thread triggered that response

 

Sorry if you felt like my post was aggressive in tone, that was not intended

Edited by SenorDomino
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had a great relationship with both my mom and dad died when i was only 9 yrs old changed my life drastically if any thing it got my mom doing to much at once for me and I basically quit being a boy and just started becoming a caretaker of mom and a lost any self worth of mine ui mean starting even at the funnrel  the people were saying to me time to grow up and put the toys away so at 9 i basically lost my child hood

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...