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Does Anyone Else Struggle To Go To Work?


ALone1

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Every morning I wake up, I really hate going to work.  A problem is I've been there so long and don't have the conscience to call in sick.  The boss nitpicks and Biotches about EVERYTHING and the customers are getting more and more demanding.  When I actually am sick, the boss makes us feel guilty about it and pretty much demands we go to a doctor (even when it may be just a 24 hour bug or something bad we ate).

 

The turmoil keeps happening, been there long enough to expect it and should be used to it, but the daily grind still upsets me!   Prior to leaving for work and by mid-morning, I've likely taken the majority of my anti-anxiety pills for the day.

 

I'm really to old to get another job plus I know the "grass isn't always greener" at another work place even if I found another job.  Even though it's illegal for an employer to prevent you from seeing a shrink or doctor during work hours, the boss can make it tough on you in other ways (ridicule, Biotching, tougher work tasks, etc).

 

Does anyone else deal with this type of situation?  If so, how do you do it?

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Hey Alone1, out of curiosity, how old are you? I'm 55 and it sounds like we're in the same boat in many ways. My 'career' as it were in the white collar field ended in 2006 (laid off) and I've been in a downward tailspin ever since. I was so naive and foolish to think that I would be at that nice company until I could retire with a big fat 401K. I lived in lala land. 

 

So, since 2007 I have been working at a small blue collar business for a real SOB. I can't stand this boss/owner but I am terrible anxiety to leave. I'm divorced, live alone and I can't take the chance. I've seen too many places that I thought were doing well either have layoffs or go out of business.

 

So yes, it's a real struggle to have to put up with an over demanding, uncompassionate boss day after day and feel helpless at the same time. And no retirement for me, I'll have to work till I literally drop dead.

 

To answer your question how do I do it? I self medicate every night.

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I may be younger, but I can definitely relate to this. As soon as I wake up misery hits me. The only reason I get out of bed to even go to the job is that I have to let my dog outside and I figure, "well, I'm already out of bed...I might as well go in". I am a programmer so my day is spent sitting at the computer dealing with people who blame me for their computer errors or others who demand more and more from an application. Its like I give them an inch and they take 5 miles. I would love to move to a different job, but I would be doing the same thing, sitting at the computer and I can't quit to go back to school for something else. That pay cut isn't fair to my husband. I really want to open a bakery or a food truck or something like that, but I just cant give up this well paying job to take such a large risk. I do my crafts and baking in my spare time, but some days it is not enough. 

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Hello Alone1, 

 

In short...every friggin day.  When I walk into the office I'm literally thinking, "Damn, another 22 years of this s***."  I have some back issues so getting out of bed itself is a challenge some days.  I'm 45 and I too work in IT, only I write code to test what our developers create and I am never notified when changes are being made...I find out a change was made when my code breaks and I have to figure out why...it's completely maddening.  And it also bothers me that what I do doesn't really help anyone.  If only helps the owners of the company I work for and the owners of the companies that use our software make more money off others.  So not really gratifying in any way.  I'm a single parent of two kids so I don't have any choice, and my colossal financial mistakes in the past mean I will work til I die as well.   Fortunately my work is accommodating with flex time for me so I can make appointments for my kids and self.  My work does not know of my mental illness...they just think I am a quiet and disgruntled, grumpy old man.  And with my age, mental and physical illnesses I just don't have the energy and drive to try changing careers again.   

 

I'm sorry to hear your boss is one of those disgruntled people who thinks yelling and belittling coworkers is an actual management style.  It's pathetic.  

 

As far as how I do it...I just friggin do it.  

Edited by PessimOptimist
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I can relate. In fact it's 5:30 am and I am sitting here drinking coffee trying to wake up.  I will then work out for an hour and a half and then go to work.  The working out before I go to work does help because then I am doing something else first.  I have a good paying professional job in the IT field, but I am bored with it and I have to deal with a lot of office politics which I hate.  It actually adds to my depression because I want to leave, but it's very risky.  As the saying goes "better then devil you know then the devil you don't".

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I'd just like to write "well done" for persevering, tough as it undoubtedly is.  I know full well how it feels to stick at a job you hate for years - I think it's heroic actually.  But as tough as it seems right now, believe me that you are in a far stronger position by forcing yourself out of bed each morning and thus staying in the loop.  Because if you were to give up on it, it becomes extremely difficult to get back in.  I would strongly recommend using some of your spare time to thoroughly research what other options are really out there.  Don't be discouraged by your age - it's simply a number and employers will value relevant experience, reliability, a positive attitude and willingness to adapt to new surroundings a great deal.  There may be more opportunities than you think and the process of taking a new look at things will be rewarding in itself, because you will then re-evaluate the things in your life that are really important to you.  It will be time well spent, whatever the eventual outcome.  Good luck to you.

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I'm 25 and I've been working here for 2,5 years. It is my longest work stretch ever. My resume is full of LONG employment gaps. Actually I've only worked about 3,5 years my whole life. I have a hard time waking up everyday (the alarm clock go off 10 times), I'm awkward around people and I like being alone. I like to sleep late. I work in a place that I I'm ashamed to tell other people that I work here, even though many people think it's a pretty good job. I'm ashamed because it does not fit my personality, not by a LONG shot. I shoud be working in a place far different from here by now.

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I really relate to this post too! I've "job hopped" quite a bit in my career but I just get so restless, bored and to a point where I can't stand the BS, drama, and politics. I hate to be a wage slave but what is the alternative? Add to that, that I've worked continously since age 17 and I'm damn tired of all of it!

Edited by morelostthanfound
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I'm 25 and I've been working here for 2,5 years. It is my longest work stretch ever. My resume is full of LONG employment gaps. Actually I've only worked about 3,5 years my whole life. I have a hard time waking up everyday (the alarm clock go off 10 times), I'm awkward around people and I like being alone. I like to sleep late. I work in a place that I I'm ashamed to tell other people that I work here, even though many people think it's a pretty good job. I'm ashamed because it does not fit my personality, not by a LONG shot. I shoud be working in a place far different from here by now.

 

I'm assuming you don't have wife and kids at this point, so based on that assumption I would encourage you to read the previous post by FinallySeekingHelp and discover what you do like.  

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today i'm struggling to work even though i work from home, on my laptop. i'm tired all day and can't even sit upright in my bed. it's too damn hot (i hate summer) and i hate that i'm so unproductive. but you have to accept that there will be days like this and just try to do your best. beating yourself about it will be even worse. as for older people unsatisfied with their jobs, i can't say anything about that because i'm too young, but i would like to believe that it's never too late to start living the life you want to live.

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Wow.  I just received and email from my new company's marketing department that turned my stomach.

 

I don't think anyone on this thread knows this but the small "family" business of 31 employees I worked for, where the 4 owning partners were foaming at the mouth liberal democrats and constantly harped about family and keeping the ship lean, all working hard, and splitting the rewards in an annual bonus, was just "acquired" by a Fortune 400 company so now I am part of a 5600 employee company (yes, I am very pleased that I still have a job).  In other words, the 4 partners forget everything they were preaching to us when the money got thrown on the table.  And their actual response to one manager who approached them to discuss their dissatisfaction about promises made..."You should have got it in writing."  They even cut our final bonuses by about half of what they were supposed to be.  Well our software is a very powerful software application that helps people with money make more money by lending it to others who need cash flow to run their businesses and nickel and dime them with charges and interest rates in any combination and for any reason someone could possibly come up with...like I said, very powerful.  So basically I just help the rich get richer.  That in itself was making me unhappy with what I do for a living.

 

Then just a few minutes ago the marketing department just sent out an email announcing a new marketing campaign that includes "Increasing healthcare provider profits by Funding Patient Promises-To-Pay.  So basically, after filling us in about how costs of healthcare have more than doubled for a family of four in the last ten years...our company is going to target those families and help the health care provider implement, track, and collect on loans made to those families under the guise of the term Promises-To-Pay.  So basically our product is going to actually add to the cost of healthcare for a family of four and help the doctors make more money.  This makes me sick to my stomach.  And I just discussed it with another coworker to make sure I was interpreting things correctly and she is equally disgusted by the campaign.  

 

So yeah, tomorrow will be an even greater struggle for me to get up and come in to work.  Damn.  

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Short answer: He!! yes!!

 

The first thing my cats hear as I wake up in the morning is a sigh immediately followed by a groan as it hits me that I woke up on a weekday.

 

I've been at this place for 27 years. In many  ways, I have a great job. But in other ways, it's overwhelming. I'm a manager and I have to deal with personnel issues. I hate that, especially when my boss has me discipline an employee. I'm also stupid as a stone, so I don't contribute much in meetings. I'm expected to just know all of this stuff, but my memory is getting worse with age. I even forget to write myself notes so that I won't forget. I get frequent abuse from customers too.

 

I'm 55 and I'm stuck here for another 10+ years. That makes me feel just great.

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Yes I can relate.. I really dread going to work, I work at a restaurant in the kitchen. Usually when I am there it's ok but it takes me forever to get ready for it. Pretty much every morning I think about calling in sick, I'm proud to say I never did though. Anyways I think for me it's more a matter of not liking this job too much then hating to work. I like working and doing something useful with my time.. It has to be something which is at my level though. Not that there is anything wrong with it but I can do more then make people's lunches.

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It stinks that we are all in this boat. But I feel a little better knowing I'm not the only one in it. Please don't think I'm being rude because I'm not. Nobody I know in real life understands the feeling I have about going to work. But think you all just summed it up. You all understand. I think it's different for us that suffer with illness, no matter the type.

I wish I had some advice, but unfortunately, I don't. :( I'm 42, so I have quite a few years left to work, if I can't find a way out of where I'm at now, it won't end nice. I know when I leave, I'll have to take a big paycut and lose a lot of vacation (I have 4 weeks right now). The upper management is trying to push the company somewhere impossible. Something is going to break and it's going to be the production employees. (Of which, I am not, I work in the lab) Production works 10 hours a day 7 days a weeks with usually 1 or 2 days off a month so upper management can get their bonuses. We get a pizza party every few months maybe a sub sandwich every now and then. WOW!

My boss is on vacation this week, so I have to do some of his job, plus mine. So I usually end up going in early when he isn't in. There is so much sample back log at these times and The fact that I knew I was going to be harassed about it by sales today had me to the point that I couldn't sleep. I was in at work by 3:30am. I normally start at 5am. I didn't leave early, I left late. It was so bad today, I was so very close to walking out. I actually cleaned off part of my desk in my rage.

I'm just scared to apply places. I'm afraid of the interview, I'm afraid of getting to know new people if I'm hired.

I hope everyone who has posted, and has yet to post, finds some relief in their jobs. We all deserve it.

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One thing I will say is that if I didn't have the job to get me out of the house during the day I know would be 10X more depressed than I am now and probably cracking open the first brewski of many at 12:01 pm. 

Edited by Synth
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I do a job that's repetitive all day long, my mind shuts down every day it's essentially slavery. The conditions did get a little bit better for me, and I do switch things up when I need to, even though it's hard because I am forcing myself to do things I'm not assigned to do on paper and I take a lot of breaks. It's a strange situation because I like socializing, earning more than minimum wage, helping out, except for the fact that my position is completely counter-productive and no positive attitude can make my position more positive because there's nothing positive about my position. The problem is that the things I like and that feel important to me take up 5% more or less of my day. A day that's 90-95% negative will eventually drag the most optimistic person down too.

 

It's not morally okay to be forced to have nothing to do with my whole day, except wait to get paid. I shouldn't have to be fighting slavery all the time like this. But one problem I have is that I just don't see anything better at the end of the tunnel. I just feel like there's too many problems everywhere and I just have no clue how to protect my health and I don't even think it's possible for me to take of myself anymore. It's always raining in my head, I am convinced that everything is dark and bleak to the point where the only thing I wonder is how do people not only look happy in general, but look like they're having a blast each and every day. All these bad things happening to someone like me who's just trying to be stable through ups and downs like we all have...it makes the world look bad.

Edited by The_Unwanted
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Thanks for all the replies; unfortunately none of which help other than knowing others are in the same situation, LOL (not directly funny, but in a way).  To begin with, I'm also 55, but with no retirement plans/benefits.  My initial retirement idea was getting my house paid off by the time I'm 65; but with house/maintenance repairs and increased expenses, it's almost impossible to make extra principle payments anymore.  Plus the owner/boss wants to drop health insurance because of the costs (apparently when I turned 55, the group insurance rates went up quite a bit).  Which means unless I can find "inexpensive" health/medical insurance, no more "chill pills" to keep my stomach from getting upset.  From the little I've looked at, I don't see any insurance I can afford.   And when the insurance does get dropped, there's been no talk of getting paid extra for me to cover my own.

 

With my personality, I can't talk my way out of a paperbag; meanwhile the boss can talk me down so easily, even if I am correct.  While I used to go in on my own time to make my job easier, I now cringe even driving near the place when I'm not working.  Even though it hurts my paychecks, if I have the chance to leave work early, I'm out the door!!!  Sure that makes finances tougher, but also helps my sanity a bit too.  Kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place there.  And it's not that my co-workers aren't nice people, I just can't trust them.  The minute I say something or do something wrong, it goes back to the boss and I get nailed for it.  So I've got no one to vent to (no family or friends) except a couple of people on the internet - then it takes days to get a response from them.  If something goes wrong, we can't tell people the truth; we have to lie to them in an attempt to smooth things over.  I'm a lousy liar and not much better at "schmoozing" customers.

 

I don't believe I'm in danger of losing my job, but the boss makes me feel that way constantly; not the most pleasant environment to work in.

 

By the way, I do live by myself and my cat is tired of me asking her to go to work for me, LOL.

 

So, any more ideas?  I am an idea type of person and no matter what is written here, I might just see a word or phrase that will make a difference.

 

Thanks!

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Can you find a different job? I mean if things aren't working maybe you need to make some changes? I think the poster above (FinallySeekingHelp) offers some good advice. Sometimes things have to get insane before we're spurred to make those changes. Sometimes we need an intolerable situation to light a fire underneath our butts. I recently had to step down from a promotion because I didn't think the workload was fair. It was hard but making that change was the best thing I did. Less responsibility at work means I can devote some time to making my personal life better. If you take small steps, it might not seem so overwhelming.

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Even though it hurts my paychecks, if I have the chance to leave work early, I'm out the door!!!  Sure that makes finances tougher, but also helps my sanity a bit too. 

 

I thoght I was the only one who did this. I come in late and go out early everyday. I should be working 8 hours a day but as a result I only end up working 7,5 hours or even less. It hurts my paycheck but I really dont care. It seems like nobody here at my job care either, because I've been doing this for more than two years and nobody has ever called me on it. I work in a stupid government office job. In my opnion my position should'nt even exist.

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I've been an Apprentice heavy vehicle mechanic for 5 months now and im now at the point of leaving and going somewhere else if they dont wanna bother to teach me. Yes you've gotta do work when your an apprentice but if you hired someone who's pretty keen and very switched on then why not ****** teach me!?!?. Im 23 and here to learn, iv got the skills and have a general intrest in mechanics. One of the workshop floor supervisors is abit of a control freak i know that, and i dont get why im starting later than everyone else?? I much prefure early morning starts before the sun comes up, always loved leaving the house at 6 AM when i worked in Campbellfield when i was at the clutch and brake mob.

 

Yes you've gotta do work when your an apprentice at somestage but shoveling your everyday of the week? "Oh your only a first year apprentice, you can sweep the floor"

 

I even took me toolbox into work and realisticly i shouldn't have if i aint learning jack whilst on the job. I feel so disconnected from what i have a passion for mechanics etc. I've already started looking elsewhere and sent out applications.

 

Maybe i should've taken that mechanic apprenticeship i was offered by the Ford dealer in Geelong 4 years ago......

 

Half the time i feel that i cant be ****ed getting up and going to work. Rather be in the shed working on me ute and doing other stuff that intrests me.

 

Trade school is next week, wounder if i will lean anything....???

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I'm 27 and never held a real job, just a string of small chores at a temp agency. It's truely soul-sucking work. Every day I hate that I graduated college for this. Most of the time I'm just out of work. To me, the only thing worse about working a job where I'm undervalued is job searching. I absolutely hate having to communicate with people to sell my abilities. I never had a sucessful job interview in my life, and I've been to at least 50 interviews. I think it's the main reason I'm on this site.

 

Unfortunately I can't relate to you on having a job. Maybe you should start looking for another job on the weekends or something. It looks like you need a change.

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Health coverage is THE 800 pound gorilla in the room, at least here in the U.S. We are all watching our coverage getting progressively worse and more expensive. This country could EASILY afford a much more efficient system that covers everyone; a system that doesn't result in outrageous salaries and bonuses for insurance, pharmaceutical and medical facility CEOs and big payouts to stockholders. I have no problem at all with health care professionals like doctors, nurses, phlebotomists, etc. making great money. It's the siphoning of profits and monster salaries for all of the executives that makes our health care so expensive and inaccessible.

 

So many of us are stuck in jobs we don't like because we want to maintain our shrinking coverage for as long as we can. Health insurance is so ridiculously expensive--and it's benefitting the wealth owners, execs and stockholders, not patients.

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