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Do You Ever Feel Like You've Done Nothing With Your Life?


mark88

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After 5 years I got back into work. In those 5 years I wish I had done something, went back to college or had fun. 

Im seeing all these people younger than me getting married, getting their first home, going out with friends/going on holiday with them and starting business.
I know I shouldn't, I think its the worst thing to do but I just feel like ive wasted my life by seeing them live theirs. 

I keep telling myself things will get better, but ive been telling myself this since I was a kid. 

Im still young (at 27 I still see myself as young) but im just scared it won't happen, scared it will stay this way forever, im trying so hard. I just want to give up  :verysad3:

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Yeah I can relate most of this. I'm surrounded by people who have had more of a life in a month than I have in the past 5 years. Life feels to me what it's like when you're the last kid to get picked during a sport. I feel like I watch life from the sidelines and never get to participate. Nobody deserves to feel like this. Nobody.

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I'm almost 28 and haven't worked since I was 20. I haven't gone to college--didn't even graduate high school. I've never driven a car, been in a relationship, had sex, or lived by myself. I don't have friends anymore. I don't just feel like I've done nothing with my life--I know I've done nothing with my life. And I hate myself for it.

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My problem is I feel like im accomplishing stuff but that there is no point in accomplishing anything in life,if it makes you feel better the vast majority of people get married to someone they don,t really care about have kids they don,t really want,then get divcorced have to pay child support and feel worse then they did if they had remained single.Every body always wants what they don,t have then once they get what they want they want something else they don,t have. its a endless cycle I am aware of this so I feel I am doomed no matter what I do.

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After 5 years I got back into work. In those 5 years I wish I had done something, went back to college or had fun. 

Im seeing all these people younger than me getting married, getting their first home, going out with friends/going on holiday with them and starting business.

I know I shouldn't, I think its the worst thing to do but I just feel like ive wasted my life by seeing them live theirs. 

I keep telling myself things will get better, but ive been telling myself this since I was a kid. 

Im still young (at 27 I still see myself as young) but im just scared it won't happen, scared it will stay this way forever, im trying so hard. I just want to give up  :verysad3:

 

 I get where you're coming from, because I'm my own biggest critic. No matter what happens, I feel like I should've done more or should have done better (the joys of perfectionism, anxiety, and depression). It's hard not to compare yourself to others, but really, none of them have lived YOUR life. It's easy to see the people who you think are doing more in life than you are, but they could be facing struggles invisible to the outside world.

 

 It's never too late to do more things. Also, congrats on getting back to work!

 

Yeah I can relate most of this. I'm surrounded by people who have had more of a life in a month than I have in the past 5 years. Life feels to me what it's like when you're the last kid to get picked during a sport. I feel like I watch life from the sidelines and never get to participate. Nobody deserves to feel like this. Nobody.

 

(((Hugs))) I'm sorry you're suffering, Rainbow. Have you tried, metaphorically speaking, leaving the sidelines on your own? I know it feels like a giant sack of bricks on your back with depression, but sometimes putting yourself out there (scary as it might be at first), is the best thing you can do. Like I told mark88, those people haven't lived your life.

 

I'm almost 28 and haven't worked since I was 20. I haven't gone to college--didn't even graduate high school. I've never driven a car, been in a relationship, had sex, or lived by myself. I don't have friends anymore. I don't just feel like I've done nothing with my life--I know I've done nothing with my life. And I hate myself for it.

 

 (((BM))) There is still plenty of time for all of that. I know it's hard not to beat yourself up over it, but there is no set timeline for doing all of those things. It took me much longer than most people to start driving due to severe anxiety on the road, and I've had to take "breaks" in my education because of the depression and anxiety. I hope no one takes my comments here as insensitive, or from someone who doesn't "get it" - because I do. I've criticized myself day and night for years, only recently trying to "chill out" about it with the help of meds and therapy. I just think all of you have more strength than you realize, and your time here isn't over yet.

 

My problem is I feel like im accomplishing stuff but that there is no point in accomplishing anything in life,if it makes you feel better the vast majority of people get married to someone they don,t really care about have kids they don,t really want,then get divcorced have to pay child support and feel worse then they did if they had remained single.Every body always wants what they don,t have then once they get what they want they want something else they don,t have. its a endless cycle I am aware of this so I feel I am doomed no matter what I do.

 

Food for thought: Could your awareness of the cycle be useful for you? You make a lot of really true points: A lot of people get married for the sake of being married, have kids because they feel like it's what they're "supposed" to do by a certain age, and end up divorcing. Since you know all of these things, I would say you have the upper hand rather than being doomed. Knowing "the trap" allows you to avoid it by being cautious who you get involved with and making sure you're only doing things because you want them (rather than because society expects it). There is a middle ground between forever alone and in a marriage with someone you don't really care about. I think you have a lot of insight that other people lack, but view it as a doom sentence rather than a gift.

 

I'll shush now =P

 

- Christina

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I dunno. Spent most of my life up until now surviving a dysfunctional family, some terrible school years and then developed a bad case of social anxiety. I've constantly lost everyone I met and cared about, I pretty much have no family, no friends (not offline anyway), no job, my body feels pretty weak (spine problems).

 

I don't have a life at all at the moment, but I can't say I've done nothing. Just not what most people care about maybe. Careers, wealth, relationships as a status thing, I couldn't care less about that. Though I do want a job.

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Hey Mark, welcome to DF.  Lauryn and Christina make some good points, you're still young and you still have time to accomplish a lot. 

 

I could say I've done nothing with my life, after I finished school I sat in my bedroom for 8yrs. When I eventually had to work I tried to play 'catch up' with my life which led to too much drinking and a lot of regret.  Put those 5yrs behind you, (easier said than done, I know), there's still time to do the things you think you missed out on, just don't try to do them all at once like I did. Take care.

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It all depends on your perspective.  Society measures your success on how much taxes you can pay.  That is why going to college & getting a high paying job is pushed on everyone from a young age.  But to me this really isn't success.  Success is accomplishing the goals you want & being kind to others.  That is really what life is about to me.  Don't compare yourself to others. 

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Yes all the time.. I did finish college but I don't see that as a big accomplishment since millions of people graduate every year. I work some low entry level jobs.. Never experienced love from a partner.. While other people my age (I am 24) actually have a career going on and starting there families.

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Yes, because I haven't. I've tried but I gave up a few years ago. Not much point when you get to your mid twenties, the ship to success has sailed by that point my eyes.

Yeah when I went past 25 while still being in the same rut is when I really started feeling awful. They say it's never too late, which I hope is true. Even small progress would make me feel loads better. At least it would feel like i was progressing. Edited by Rainbow Lightning
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I have done nothing with my life. High school drop out, can't drive, no friends, never had a real relationship, never had a job, never leave the house, terrible health etc. etc. etc.

 

Doing nothing with my life is perfectly okay with me though. I do feel bad about it sometimes, but it's only because of other people seeing people like me as a subhuman leech. I care less about myself and them as time goes on. Doing something with my life for me does not mean having a career, a family or whatever else modern society says. I'm not exactly sure what doing something with my life would mean to me. I don't really feel like I need to do anything, death is the only thing I look forward to. I'd like to make an album one day. That's about it.

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In the end it doesn,t matter if you do anything with your life anyway,I can,t wrap my head around why people care so much about accomplishing anything at all.How is life any different if you did or did not,tons of celebrities commit suicide so do rich people and people with lots of relationships.There is no prize for accomplishing anything at all a farmer in a third world country accomplishs as much as bill gates to me,in the grand scheme of things there accomplishments are of equal merit just in different ways.People who want to progress in life confuse me.I hope I never progress in life because if I do it means I have failed myself.In a ideal life nothing is accomplished,accomplishments only exist in the mind.

Edited by scienceguy
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Everyone has different reasons why they might end up on a forum like this. 

 

To you mark88, I will say...hang in there bro. I know you can find those things you're looking for.

 

My life didn't really even start until 27. I met my wife at 30, bought a house at 34, got married at 38, had a daughter at 39.

 

You got this.

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Sometimes some perspective is necessary. Typically I see myself as someone that has squandered opportunities and not lived up to my potential. However, I met someone at work who is kind of similar to me in some ways. One way is that she, like me, likes the idea of traveling. But when I asked her where she has traveled to, she said "Only California and Colorado." California is where we live. So really, she has only traveled to one other state than her home state. As for me, I have traveled to five states. Despite my perceived shortcomings, I have still gotten to do things others can only dream of doing, just as others have done things I wish I could have done by this point in my life. We all live unique lives, and the only people we should strive to keep up with are ourselves, and live up to our own ideas of happiness. Keeping up with anybody else is basically asking to be unhappy.

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I feel this way all the time.I sometimes feel like this illness has cost me everything.All I really wanted from life was to have a good job that I enjoyed and a place of my own.I have neither of those things.I also would have liked to have someone to share my life with but that is a failed dream as well.I never really tried though because I never have thought that I was good enough for anyone.

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