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jason1111345

I Need Therapy But Don't Want It

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My friend told my mother about my depression and other thoughts that went on in my head. My friend recommended I seek therapy to obtain assistance for my issues so my mother agreed. I'm being forced into therapy pretty much and I don't think it will work for me. Is there any point in getting help if I don't think it'll work?

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Welcome to DF.

 

I'm sorry you're having trouble. Therapy may or may not work but it probably won't work if a patient is not actively involved in the recovery. Going to therapy without wanting to get better is like learning to walk again without trying to get out of your chair.

 

If you want to get better, it can get better if you're willing to put in the work. I know this from experience. I spent a lot of years just going to therapy and nothing happened. It wasn't until I was motivated to change that I was able to be helped. That and the right therapy and medication for me helped me climb out of a 40+ year depression. I would not wish a depression that long on anyone. 

 

Depression resists any attempt to stop it. So it will actually make you not want to try to get better. Oftentimes I would say, "what's the point?" The point, which I missed for so many years, was that I didn't need to be depressed. I could be helped. And once I started to feel better I wished I had gotten help a lot earlier in life. My entire childhood, adolescence and adulthood could have been much, much happier.

 

If you are an adult, you can't be forced into anything. If you're under age your mother is responsible for your well being so she might just be doing her job as a parent. It's hard to tell from your post.

 

It's up to you how much effort you want to put into the therapy. If you want to get better, you might consider giving it an honest try. It can take a while for it to work. It depends on you and your therapist. If they're good they can start helping you sooner than someone who's merely adequate. It's hard to tell without trying. It took me, I think, 3 or 4 tries (5?) before I found a therapist who clicked with me. And it took me 3 tries to find meds which worked for me.

 

In the meantime, we're here for you. We'll try to help if we can.

 

Please post again and let us know how you're doing, 

 

Peace

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Just my opinion... if you don't want it and aren't receptive to it, there's no point.

 

If you've got a problem and want to get better, why not approach it with an open mind and give it, as Starsea says, an honest try?  What else are you doing for your depression?

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All I can give you is my honest no bs assessment of my personal experience of therapy. I was in therapy for about 3 years and I didn't think it would work but I gave it a shot. At first it took a little bit to open up. But I realized I can say whatever I want to my therapist and its her job to help me take the edge off the suck in my life. Over time I was taught ways to at the very least take edge off the suck in my life. I'm not going to lie it got intense sometimes I had decades worth of crap to wade through but in the end I am in a better place now than I was before. Give it an honest shot. 

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I appreciate the input guys. I did have my first session today and it was the introduction basically. We didn't go over anything too important, I just told her what issues I've been having. Star, I read what you wrote fully and I will give it a shot. If it worked for you and you truly think it is something worth going in to, I will go in with an open mind, you too Becoming, I will give it a shot. Thank you guys for your help.

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Hi Jason, I think it's great that you are giving it a chance.  Many ppl find therapy helpful.  I guess it depends on what you want might want to get out of it. 

 

Personally, I really appreciate having a trustworthy, skilled person to bounce ideas off of.  My therapist has also been able to refer me to others for tests and treatments that she does not do.  She can also prescribe meds which is useful. 

 

I hope you'll be able to post a bit more after other meetings with the new therapist.  I wish you luck, Jason.

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I appreciate the input guys. I did have my first session today and it was the introduction basically. We didn't go over anything too important, I just told her what issues I've been having. Star, I read what you wrote fully and I will give it a shot. If it worked for you and you truly think it is something worth going in to, I will go in with an open mind, you too Becoming, I will give it a shot. Thank you guys for your help.

 

It's good to keep an open mind. Just remember that you need to want to change for yourself. It is possible to feel better. But you have to want to feel better. That's not too hard. Nobody wants to be depressed.  The hard part is that depression wants you to be depressed.That's what you have to defeat. But you're stronger than you think. You can do it if you really want to and you really try.

 

If your first therapist doesn't work out, you can always try another one. It took me several tries to get someone who works for me. Your mileage may vary.

 

Good luck and be kind to yourself through the process. Depressed people are harder on themselves than on anyone else.

 

Post again so we know how you're doing, OK?

 

Peace

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I'm struggling with this, too. I've struggled with depression for about 20 years, and it feels like it's worn me down. I'm tired, and for the first time I have to admit that I'm ambivalent about wanting to get better; I mean, I see now that there's a part of me that doesn't want to get better or doesn't think it can happen or doesn't feel able to make the effort. That's frightening because I believe when people say that I have to be willing to put in the necessary work to get better, and I don't know that I am willing or able to do that. But I also don't think I'll make it if things continue as they are. It's a scary place for me right now.

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Well I have not had any good experience with therapy up to this point but you'll never know if you don't try. Everyone is different, for some it works for some it doesn't, it also depends on the therapist and the type/style of therapy. Another thing you could/should try is seeing a psychiatrist to see if you can be prescribed something. It's commonly accepted that the combination of therapy and medication seems to has the best effect on depression as opposed to solely medication or solely therapy. 

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