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PsychT1987

Anyone Ever Just Walk Away

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My family is driving me insane. Keeping going back to thinking of walking away living in my car. Shower at the Y. Eat 3 home cooked meals with my fiancé. Jeep myself entertained with books from the library. Live in my car at the Walmart. Go on food stamps probably. Not sure how I can store perishibles or need perishibles. Can live off of bananas in the morning I figure can buy daily from Walmart. Walmart has a Subway can get 2 sandwiches a day for $50 a week. That can get me through lunch and dinner.

Food stamps probably make that be $10 a week.

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This is new situation at home. Because even the rent money I give my mom rarely goes to food. Mom complains it pays the bills which it does. However, my spends $80-$100 a week on cigarettes and alcohol.

I was happy and relationship with my mom was healthy when I lived on my own for two year's. I was able to respond to the stress from my mom and family. I mean I still dealt with it calling me an "*****", "stupid", "wasting your life", and so forth.

Now moving back home it just seems worse. It's not the negativity it's the support that turns to negativity. Say I am proud of you your doing great. Then turns to your stupid your the reason I smoke and drink. I can't wait till your no longer my problem. You make terrible choices in life so on and so forth.

Now stressed over financial issue's. I only make $25,000 a year and have $10,000 of debt. I am stressed have to get my car repaired other driver insurer seems very sneaky. Did not even know was suppose to be given a check. They weren't very reluctant in giving me 100% coverage.

My head has these crazy idea's going on about how my life will be ruined.

This been leading to control issues my mom wanting to use the money to buy a new car and use her dealer thinking she'll get a better deal.

Moments it's intense swearing at each other and name calling. Other times my mom just stops talking to me.

Very stressful situation.

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I thought of living in a car to since my family members all have a lot of very toxic behaviors,i negotiated with my mom to let me live there and save money to buy property and to pay down my school loans,i am moving out into my house soon,they helped me with the loan for the mortage and im making all the mortgage payments and im eventually going to take it over in my name.This is the only scenario I foresaw where I could completlety cut the cord other wise I would be dependent on roommates to help me pay for the rent and I know my friends that moved out to soon ended up running out of money and putting themselves in debt.it has been official I have become increadably frugal in order to save up the money working at a retail job and investing in stocks.Maybe you could do the same thing and it would make the rent cheaper,if I would of moved out and rented a apartment I would have to pay about 1500 a month just in rent,but my condo that  is much bigger then most apartments is only costing me 800 a month in a decent area.i don,t know if they would let you do something like that just lay low and try to get a cheap condo for a bargain that could help you move out for good and if you need rommates they will be paying your mortgage.

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My mom wants to put her condo in my name. I just feel unable to process life anymore. It's toxic it's not toxic it's up and down. Concern is control letting my mom take control leads to a can of worms. Mom offered to help put me on her phone plan because it's cheaper. I pay it but now says it isn't enough.

Edited by PsychT1987

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That is messed,i think some of ous don,t have chemical depression but long lasting situational depression,I know when my family went on vacation for two weeks and I didn't,t go because I had work and school I had no depression and felt great.i would just do whatever you could to be indepdendent as possible I really don,t even want a relationship right now until I know im fincally indepdent of everyone.if it makes you feel better I had a fight with my parents to and I started getting hysterical and screaming that I hate my life and I can,t take this anymore while the door was open and now the neighbhors probably think im psycho.is there anyway you could live with your fiancé.I don,t think living in your car is to bad if it gives you peace of mind.

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I say stay where you are until you can afford a place of your own. When issues arise and get to be too much, take a walk.I don't know why your mom would want to put condo in your name but if it benefits you then do it...and then kick her ass out...(just kidding I think). You have to look after one person most of all, and that's you. I wish you all the best... :cat_jumps:

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