I'm So Over It.

[_DepressedPrincess_ 2]

I honestly don't know what is going on with me these days. It honestly seems like I CAN'T function outside the house unless I am swimming. Sometimes I can't even function inside the house. I want to be able to go out and function. My birthday is in September and the plans are to go to the Monterrey bay Aquarium and then Santa Cruz. But I honestly don't know if that can actually happen. I was going to try and start my food plan again but that's a fail. I just for some reason its like "god" is against me getting better and throws more my way. It's so bad I can't even take a bath or shower with out doing something stupid. Honestly is recovery meant for everyone? Because if it was wouldn't I be able to get the help and treatment I actually need? I'm just sick of this. I'm just like over all the fighting in my family, the never being around people because my family cares more about stupid houses then me, I'm out of control I literally go around the house crying hitting and kicking the air because I don't what to do that will get me kicked out.. I'm tired of my sister grossing me out and making fun of her. I just need to get away somehow and focus on me for a while but I have no where to go.

So every body talks about hitting rock bottom. What the he'll is rock bottom but what defines rock bottom? Because I think I've hit rock bottom and I'm having a hard time swimming up strean

 

[mikeb6901 1,430]

Slow down a bit Princess...you are kind of all over the place.  What kind of recovery are you in at the moment that isn't working?

[a400488 37]

Hi DP! Things are not going so well for you, huh? Sorry to hear that. When you say that you can't take a bath or a shower without "doing something stupid", would you care to elaborate? I mean, you are remembering to start the water before you put soap in your hair right? Also, what type of keeps getting thrown in your way? It sounds like your sister is a problem. Has it always been this way with her? Is she your older or younger sis?
We're here for you...

[neurotic_lady89 6,790]

 

I honestly don't know what is going on with me these days. It honestly seems like I CAN'T function outside the house unless I am swimming. Sometimes I can't even function inside the house. I want to be able to go out and function. My birthday is in September and the plans are to go to the Monterrey bay Aquarium and then Santa Cruz. But I honestly don't know if that can actually happen. I was going to try and start my food plan again but that's a fail. I just for some reason its like "god" is against me getting better and throws more s*** my way. It's so bad I can't even take a bath or shower with out doing something stupid. Honestly is recovery meant for everyone? Because if it was wouldn't I be able to get the help and treatment I actually need? I'm just sick of this. I'm just like over all the fighting in my family, the never being around people because my family cares more about stupid houses then me, I'm out of control I literally go around the house crying hitting and kicking the air because I don't what to do s*** that will get me kicked out.. I'm tired of my sister grossing me out and making fun of her. I just need to get away somehow and focus on me for a while but I have no where to go.

So every body talks about hitting rock bottom. What the he'll is rock bottom but what defines rock bottom? Because I think I've hit rock bottom and I'm having a hard time swimming up strean

 

 

 I'm sorry you're in so much pain, Princess. It seems like you have A LOT on your plate and are just trying to get by, which I can really identify with. Are you getting treatment that isn't working or not in treatment at all but want to be? I truly do think recovery is possible for most people, even if it doesn't happen as quickly as we'd like and/or relapses happen later.

 

 Since you are afraid of getting kicked out and have a sister who grosses you out, I'll take a guess that you're a teen (sorry if I'm wrong). The worst of my depression, anxiety, and SI started in my young teenage years. I'm not sure what kind of support your parents offer, but if it's not enough, I'd really consider either talking to a counselor at school or sitting down with your parents and telling them you really need help. I think sometimes parents "shut-down" emotionally when they aren't sure how to cope with something, hence the talking about houses instead of you, but that doesn't mean they don't love you or care.

 

Feel free to PM if you'd ever like to talk.

 

Hugs,

 Christina

[_DepressedPrincess_ 2]

 

 

I honestly don't know what is going on with me these days. It honestly seems like I CAN'T function outside the house unless I am swimming. Sometimes I can't even function inside the house. I want to be able to go out and function. My birthday is in September and the plans are to go to the Monterrey bay Aquarium and then Santa Cruz. But I honestly don't know if that can actually happen. I was going to try and start my food plan again but that's a fail. I just for some reason its like "god" is against me getting better and throws more s*** my way. It's so bad I can't even take a bath or shower with out doing something stupid. Honestly is recovery meant for everyone? Because if it was wouldn't I be able to get the help and treatment I actually need? I'm just sick of this. I'm just like over all the fighting in my family, the never being around people because my family cares more about stupid houses then me, I'm out of control I literally go around the house crying hitting and kicking the air because I don't what to do s*** that will get me kicked out.. I'm tired of my sister grossing me out and making fun of her. I just need to get away somehow and focus on me for a while but I have no where to go.

So every body talks about hitting rock bottom. What the he'll is rock bottom but what defines rock bottom? Because I think I've hit rock bottom and I'm having a hard time swimming up strean

 

 

 I'm sorry you're in so much pain, Princess. It seems like you have A LOT on your plate and are just trying to get by, which I can really identify with. Are you getting treatment that isn't working or not in treatment at all but want to be? I truly do think recovery is possible for most people, even if it doesn't happen as quickly as we'd like and/or relapses happen later.

 

 Since you are afraid of getting kicked out and have a sister who grosses you out, I'll take a guess that you're a teen (sorry if I'm wrong). The worst of my depression, anxiety, and SI started in my young teenage years. I'm not sure what kind of support your parents offer, but if it's not enough, I'd really consider either talking to a counselor at school or sitting down with your parents and telling them you really need help. I think sometimes parents "shut-down" emotionally when they aren't sure how to cope with something, hence the talking about houses instead of you, but that doesn't mean they don't love you or care.

 

Feel free to PM if you'd ever like to talk.

 

Hugs,

 Christina 

I'm 23 years old. I am in therapy and have been off and on since I was 5. My grandma knows I need help but we can't afford the help I need and insurance doesn't cover it.

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