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Some People Ingore Others As A Punishment? Cruel!


stolenmile

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They always say that if you're angry at someone you can either confront him or just ignore. And ignoring is even worse, than an actual confrontation.

 

Well, I have a mother who practices ignoring every time I do something wrong. I can forget to buy washing powder and then she ignores me until I come to her, say how horrible I am and ask for forgiveness. That always work and I swallow my pride and do it, but sometimes I just don't feel guilty enough. Come on, I didn't bought some powder and we still have enough, so what's the big deal?

 

So from time to time I ignore her back. But for some reason I can't do it right. The more I ignore her back -> the more I think of it -> the more I analyse -> the more guilty I feel -> the more I suffer. Any tips on how to behave when someone close to you is using the "i won't talk to you until you beg for forgiveness" practice?

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Don't give into it. That just gives them all the power and tells them that it's okay to keep doing it. By giving into it, it's basically telling them that their strategy works. It's no different than giving into a child who's screaming for a candy bar at the store. 

 

"If I scream long enough/if I ignore them long enough, they'll cave in and give me what I want."

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You are the better person; your mother sounds childish. I agree with sweater on this. Your mother will never learn if you keep giving in...

Sometimes being the better person in these situations resolves it momentarily but not in the long-run. You deserve to be respected.

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stolenmile...you sound like to nice a person and too mature a person to stoop to that level. My grandmother used to tell me that her mother used to ignore her when she got mad and I could never understand how someone could do that. You should confront your mother about it. I am a mother and if my child (I have two sons, one with severe depression) does something I am unhappy with I could not imagine ignoring them. I try to calmly tell them how I feel about what they did and they do the same when they are upset with me. Your mother really needs to communicate with you. You are not a little kid( I am not sure of your age but I think you are at least w teenager). Does your mother treat other adults this way? If she doesn't then why would she treat you this way. Try to bring it to her attention. Maybe she does not really know how much it effects you. If you tell her then maybe she will work on stopping it.

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