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Hello. I really need help with what to do. I'm npt diagnosed with anything and i've never been to a psychiatrist or anything. I'm 14 years old, 162 cm tall and i weigh 57 kg. My mom tries to make me loose weight. It's to the point where she has nightmares about me overeating and stuff. She says that i just need to loose 5 kg and she'll give me money for new clothes. My stepdad kind of agrees with her. He says that it's for the best. I would like to loose weight too. The problem here is that i can't. I can't stop myself when i'm eating. If i start i just want more and more. Whenever i tried to talk with my mom she would call me a hysteric and say that ''i just can't stop'' is a dumb excuse. Whenever i cry and feel bad she sasys that i need to stop and starts shouting that i should get myself together. I need help with what to do, because my mom is trying to talk me into a diet every day and it always ends with me crying. I feel worthless and i want to die please help me.

 

- Talking deeply with my mom is not an option. It would end with her saying that i'm ridiculous and making a big deal out of nothing. I thought about talking with my real dad. He lives in another country and i'm going there tomorrow to visit him. We see eachother every holiday and we skype every week. He's more understanding, but i don't want to make a big deal out of it and make them mad at me. 

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I did when i was 6 years old but it was only like 2 kg underweight and then when i was around 7-8, i started eating a lot, but it was first around when i was 11 that my thighs started getting bigger although my mom never said anything about it. She started talking about it when i was 13.

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You need to tell her that seeing a doctor on how to lose weight will help you lose weight.  That way the doctor can tell her themselves that there is a problem and that "just stop eating" isn't an option.  It doesn't sound like she's up for listening besides that.  It's just to you to force her going to the doctor is the best idea or something so that your parents will believe somebody.

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You are being psychologically and emotionally abused.

Try to get your mom to take you to a doctor, try to talk to the doctor alone if you can and let the doctor know what is going on. The doctor may be able to set things straight about what you weight and all that. Let the doctor know that you cry after all this "help" from family.

Everyone needs to eat and needs to not feel bad about eating, all this nagging at you may be the reason when you start eating you don't stop. Please do what you can to take of yourself.

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  • 7 months later...

Your BMI is 21.7. Health is about being between 20 and 25. Your mother has big issues! If you lost anymore weight you would start being in the underweight category. This is seriously disturbing and worrying. And on a personal level it affects me to hear you discuss this as my mother did this to me when I was very seriously underweight and I know what it feels like. 

Does your mother have other issues? Is you controlling and over involved in your life? 

Please please please know that that the problem is hers and not yours. The reason you cant keep eating less is because you are healthy and your body is telling you it needs nutrition. This type of thing can trigger eating disorders for people. 

This is a big deal and your feelings are very valid on it,. I think trying to see a school counsellor would be a good start and if you can get her to see  a dr with you then that might be a good thing. Any sane dr would tell her to stop and that you are perfect as you are. 

Do you think your mother could have an eating disorder? 

Much support and understanding to you. Do see if you can discuss this with your father. 

 

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You would need to be over 65.5 kgs before there would be health issues here or a need to loose weight, I hope its OK saying it but I am very cross on your behalf. Your mother will be doing this because she is having issues of her own in some way or other but you shouldnt have to be in this situation. 

 

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