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rhyl

Talking Out On Social Media

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Wow...I am aghast at all the negative comments on social media these days about the mentally ill - or the "presumed" mentally ill - and how cruel people can be.  I don't know why it surprises me.  I don't know why anything surprises me.  But I guess I have been to the point in the last several months where I am going to start being more public about who and what I am - to a degree - because eventually I will be fully "out there" and, I guess, there is no time to start like the present.

 

I've written a fairly detailed and open book about my diagnoses and my daily life which I hope to get published in the near future.  My primary reason for writing it is because I have dealt for so many years with stigma and idiocy, not just with the public, but with mental health and medical care practitioners, that I am hoping I can make a small difference by speaking out and education even just one person.  If not, then at least I will feel better by telling my story.

 

I'm careful right now on social media, but I try to catch and correct people who do things like use derogatory terms when talking about the mentally ill, or who automatically assume that everyone who is a t*rrorist or sh**ts a cop or is a r*cist has a mental illness.  I try to remind them that, while they might have a mental illness, doing these things doesn't necessarily make them mentally ill.  

 

 

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I think that many people nowadays have short attention spans.  They want quick, cut-and-dried solutions to things and to move on.

 

As well, it's hard for people to collectively take responsibility for the ills that we see today.  Remember Hillary's comment about it taking a village to raise a child?  Well, when we see racism or intolerance or violence or other acts that beg explanation, it's much easier to ascribe those acts to a catchall like depression or schizophrenia or mental illness, because after all it couldn't be poor parenting or bullying or that we ignored the signs or ostracized rather than nurtured or that instead of trying to "lift all boats", we laughed at them and put them on a website like "People of WalMart".  Being inclusive takes work.  Positing stigma takes none.

 

And, it removes the miscreant from the pool of "us" - after all, only an insane person would do X.

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One of the downsides of the internet is that people can say the most horrible & callous things without being reprimanded about it.   There's so many keyboard warriors that take out their inadequacies on the most vulnerable people.  That's why I try to avoid any kind of online debating.  It takes up way too much energy for me. 

 

Anyways, congratulations on writing a book!  I hope you find a publisher soon!  :)

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I agree to 100% the internet and social media makes me sick,I use to think most people were good growing up but seeing how vain people are on facebook and instagram competing for attention,every thing is negative on youtube news article comments and don,t get me started on online gaming I have had kids or teens that I should die from cancer when I beat them at games.it just ticks me off know that the people I meet in public put on an act but when they have anominty there sick sociopathic a******s who get off on spewing rage and hatred towards other people,society makes me very sad.i recently deleted my facebook and I finaly have peace of mind.

 

I hope your book sells a million copies and good luck trying to help people see how rude they are,for stigmatizing others with mental illness.

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One of the downsides of the internet is that people can say the most horrible & callous things without being reprimanded about it.   There's so many keyboard warriors that take out their inadequacies on the most vulnerable people.  That's why I try to avoid any kind of online debating.  It takes up way too much energy for me. 

 

Anyways, congratulations on writing a book!  I hope you find a publisher soon!  :)

 

^ What she said above...I agree.

 

I used to debate with people online, esp. if I felt that their statements were ignorant and harmful to others.

But now that I'm older, I don't bother anymore.  Some people will always believe what they want to and I can't do anything about it.  

 

I'm thankful that my Facebook account was hacked and deactivated a few years ago because it seems that much of social media revolves around drama.  

And this girl ain't got time for that!   :Coopwink:

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I agree to 100% the internet and social media makes me sick,I use to think most people were good growing up but seeing how vain people are on facebook and instagram competing for attention,every thing is negative on youtube news article comments and don,t get me started on online gaming I have had kids or teens that I should die from cancer when I beat them at games.it just ticks me off know that the people I meet in public put on an act but when they have anominty there sick sociopathic a******s who get off on spewing rage and hatred towards other people,society makes me very sad.i recently deleted my facebook and I finaly have peace of mind.

 

I hope your book sells a million copies and good luck trying to help people see how rude they are,for stigmatizing others with mental illness.

 

Yes, there is something about social media that exposes the shallow and ugly side of people.   

Don't get me wrong...social media can also unite people for positive reasons, too.  But for the most part it seems like many folks misuse the privilege of having Internet access.  

 

They use it to bash different ethnic groups, different religions, different political ideas, etc. They use it to hide behind a false identity so they can stalk or bully others.  They use it to lure others in with evil intent.  

They use it to seek attention, show off, and achieve a higher social status at the expense of others.   

 

Facebook was initially somewhat cool to me when I first started using it.  I thought certain features were nice, but then my sister in law started meddling in my activities on Facebook (which were completely innocent) and tried to complain about me to my husband.  I wasn't doing anything wrong, but she is one of those bossy types who tries to interfere and still won't tell me why she has a problem with me.

Facebook is known for drama caused by misunderstandings.  Plus I don't want my mother all up in my business like that, or anybody else in my family...people see something or read something and assume the worst about you when it is actually innocent.  As a grown azz woman, I don't want anyone feeling that they are entitled to keep tabs on what I say or do as long as no one is being hurt.  

 

Now Instagram, I've been thinking about creating an account.  I will admit that Instagram looks like fun.  Sometimes it does make me feel bad when I look at the profiles of other women on Instagram and their lives seem to be wonderful compared to mine...they look so glamorous and gorgeous and glossy, picture perfect.

But then I realize that it's mostly just makeup and skillful Photoshop and an ability to charm people into believing the fantasy they are projecting online.   

Edited by FeelinBlueAllTheTime

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Wow...I am aghast at all the negative comments on social media these days about the mentally ill - or the "presumed" mentally ill - and how cruel people can be.  I don't know why it surprises me.  I don't know why anything surprises me.  But I guess I have been to the point in the last several months where I am going to start being more public about who and what I am - to a degree - because eventually I will be fully "out there" and, I guess, there is no time to start like the present.

 

I've written a fairly detailed and open book about my diagnoses and my daily life which I hope to get published in the near future.  My primary reason for writing it is because I have dealt for so many years with stigma and idiocy, not just with the public, but with mental health and medical care practitioners, that I am hoping I can make a small difference by speaking out and education even just one person.  If not, then at least I will feel better by telling my story.

 

I'm careful right now on social media, but I try to catch and correct people who do things like use derogatory terms when talking about the mentally ill, or who automatically assume that everyone who is a t*rrorist or sh**ts a cop or is a r*cist has a mental illness.  I try to remind them that, while they might have a mental illness, doing these things doesn't necessarily make them mentally ill.  

 

Kudos to you Lauryn, for having the guts to speak out online against the stigma.  And I would buy your book once it's published!   There have been books written on the subject of mental illness and depression by doctors/academics, as well as sufferers.  But I would love to read your account and based on what you've shared with us here on DF, I know your work will be inspiring.  

 

And yes, you are right...the stigma is hurtful.  When I was in school, people found out that I had depression and they treated me like a leper because of it.   People I didn't even know were calling me "psycho" and "crazy b*tch" and telling my boyfriend at the time not to date me.  

I was a shy, sweet girl with an effed-up situation at home and a mental/emotional condition I never wanted in the first place.  And it was made worse by the rejection from my peers.  I mean, sure, I didn't expect the average teenager to understand what I was dealing with...but they acted like I was one of the Columbine k*llers or something.  So in my experience, the only place I feel safe talking about depression these days is here on DF. No one here will assume that I'm a threat to society just because I'm a bit different.

 

Plus I've been caught talking to myself recently (by my mother and my husband) and I fear that they will think I'm crazy.   Maybe it's true?

But as far as people online who spew ignorance about mental illness or depression, I've learned to ignore them.  It all stems from fear and misunderstanding and limited knowledge of what depression entails.   Their comments are hurtful and damaging, but it also reveals a lot about the people saying such things...and the same goes for those that use the Internet for purposes of bullying and hate speech.  

 

 

I won't deny that in some cases, people who committed violent acts were later found to have a mental illness of some kind.  But for anyone who thinks that all sufferers of mental illness are violent/dangerous/deviant, I simply pity them because they just don't know better and it is easier to generalize all people of whatever group than to challenge their own ideas.  

I'm far from violent or evil or dangerous despite what kids in school used to say about me. Hell, most of them never took the time to befriend me or to know me, they just heard "depression" and assumed I was bad!   So I think that as long as we know ourselves and continue to support/affirm one another through our struggles, the opinions of others don't matter.   

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Oh brother, I done goofed!  Rhyl...please accept my humble apology.  I mistook you for another member on DF.  LaurynJCat is also a writer and she has a cat as her avatar and your posting style is very similar to hers.  

 

Jeez, I feel stupid now.   :coophaha:   Note to self:  check author before replying.  But still, my sentiments remain the same.  I can't wait for your book to be published.

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Bravo to those of you who have left the King of Drama web site. Social media sites like FB generate many problems. I have been on several sites including FB, MySpace, etc. Seemed like there was often a war going on between people. I did get a kick out of sharing poetry and writes, but tired of ugly behaviors . It was not that people were being ugly to me all the time (that did happen on occasion) but it was more of an overall negative energy. One can draw good from these sites, how not to behave as a caring and compassionate human. 

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One of the downsides of the internet is that people can say the most horrible & callous things without being reprimanded about it.   There's so many keyboard warriors that take out their inadequacies on the most vulnerable people.  That's why I try to avoid any kind of online debating.  It takes up way too much energy for me. 

 

Anyways, congratulations on writing a book!  I hope you find a publisher soon!  :)

 

^ What she said above...I agree.

 

I used to debate with people online, esp. if I felt that their statements were ignorant and harmful to others.

But now that I'm older, I don't bother anymore.  Some people will always believe what they want to and I can't do anything about it.  

 

I'm thankful that my Facebook account was hacked and deactivated a few years ago because it seems that much of social media revolves around drama.  

And this girl ain't got time for that!   :Coopwink:

 

 

 

I agree to 100% the internet and social media makes me sick,I use to think most people were good growing up but seeing how vain people are on facebook and instagram competing for attention,every thing is negative on youtube news article comments and don,t get me started on online gaming I have had kids or teens that I should die from cancer when I beat them at games.it just ticks me off know that the people I meet in public put on an act but when they have anominty there sick sociopathic a******s who get off on spewing rage and hatred towards other people,society makes me very sad.i recently deleted my facebook and I finaly have peace of mind.

 

I hope your book sells a million copies and good luck trying to help people see how rude they are,for stigmatizing others with mental illness.

 

 

 

I agree to 100% the internet and social media makes me sick,I use to think most people were good growing up but seeing how vain people are on facebook and instagram competing for attention,every thing is negative on youtube news article comments and don,t get me started on online gaming I have had kids or teens that I should die from cancer when I beat them at games.it just ticks me off know that the people I meet in public put on an act but when they have anominty there sick sociopathic a******s who get off on spewing rage and hatred towards other people,society makes me very sad.i recently deleted my facebook and I finaly have peace of mind.

 

I hope your book sells a million copies and good luck trying to help people see how rude they are,for stigmatizing others with mental illness.

 

Yes, there is something about social media that exposes the shallow and ugly side of people.   

Don't get me wrong...social media can also unite people for positive reasons, too.  But for the most part it seems like many folks misuse the privilege of having Internet access.  

 

They use it to bash different ethnic groups, different religions, different political ideas, etc. They use it to hide behind a false identity so they can stalk or bully others.  They use it to lure others in with evil intent.  

They use it to seek attention, show off, and achieve a higher social status at the expense of others.   

 

Facebook was initially somewhat cool to me when I first started using it.  I thought certain features were nice, but then my sister in law started meddling in my activities on Facebook (which were completely innocent) and tried to complain about me to my husband.  I wasn't doing anything wrong, but she is one of those bossy types who tries to interfere and still won't tell me why she has a problem with me.

Facebook is known for drama caused by misunderstandings.  Plus I don't want my mother all up in my business like that, or anybody else in my family...people see something or read something and assume the worst about you when it is actually innocent.  As a grown azz woman, I don't want anyone feeling that they are entitled to keep tabs on what I say or do as long as no one is being hurt.  

 

Now Instagram, I've been thinking about creating an account.  I will admit that Instagram looks like fun.  Sometimes it does make me feel bad when I look at the profiles of other women on Instagram and their lives seem to be wonderful compared to mine...they look so glamorous and gorgeous and glossy, picture perfect.

But then I realize that it's mostly just makeup and skillful Photoshop and an ability to charm people into believing the fantasy they are projecting online.   

 

:Coopyahoo: Good for those of you who have ditched the negative energy web sites!

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I reactivated my facebook big mistake I am so mad from seeing everyone that ignored me I started posting passive aggressive comments at everyone.

 

Ooh yeah, that might have been a bad move.  Trust me, FB only creates more stress in your life.  

Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out by not being on there but then I'm like..."wait a minute.  Do I really need this?"   The answer is no.

 

I'm on Pinterest and Instagram, that's all the social media I need.  And DF, of course...this is the coolest online community.

I mean, sure, our common bond is depression but we also have so many other things in common.  

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Feelingblueallthetime

 

its the fact people ignored me when I sent them messages that I new in real life and spoke i to for them years or a daily basis,I also post comments on peoples walls and the post gets deleted its like im being slapped in the face and people are trying to pretend I don,t exist. I honestly feel like posting on everyones wall everyday that ignored me and telling them off.I was writing in my post on my wall the other day that everyone is a no good backstabber and since everyone is ignoring me I,ll ignored everybody back,i don,t know what piniserst is and I don,t know if I would like instargram I feel like it would make me jealous,it doesn,t really matter at the point because I have no relationships with anybody outside of this website.I am so bitter if anyone in my life  talked to me again I would reject them.

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Feelingblueallthetime

 

its the fact people ignored me when I sent them messages that I new in real life and spoke i to for them years or a daily basis,I also post comments on peoples walls and the post gets deleted its like im being slapped in the face and people are trying to pretend I don,t exist. I honestly feel like posting on everyones wall everyday that ignored me and telling them off.I was writing in my post on my wall the other day that everyone is a no good backstabber and since everyone is ignoring me I,ll ignored everybody back,i don,t know what piniserst is and I don,t know if I would like instargram I feel like it would make me jealous,it doesn,t really matter at the point because I have no relationships with anybody outside of this website.I am so bitter if anyone in my life  talked to me again I would reject them.

 

I understand, dude...people ignore me on social media too.  I'm always shocked when I see that somebody liked something or posted a positive comment on my pictures.  That rarely happens and sadly, humans are wired to need/want external validation or attention from others because we're social animals.

 

Pinterest is awesome...it's like a virtual vision board where you can "pin" (save) things you like, your personal interests and even connect with others who share mutual interests.  They don't even have to be people you know from Facebook or anything.   But it can be addictive because it's so much fun.

You have so much creative freedom on there, it's crazy!   There are a few bad seeds who try to bring negative energy but you learn to garden shrub them out pretty quickly.    And joining is easy, plus people follow you if they share your interests.

 

Instagram has its drawbacks...I can see why it would make people jealous because I struggle with that, too.  

All these girls and women showing off their beauty, being complimented by others triggers my feelings of being an ugly outsider.    I was never a "popular" girl and I've lost the little beauty I had at one point.  

So I understand where you are coming from.  But to some extent, it is less toxic than Facebook despite the competitive atmosphere.  

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Feelingblueallthetime

 

its the fact people ignored me when I sent them messages that I new in real life and spoke i to for them years or a daily basis,I also post comments on peoples walls and the post gets deleted its like im being slapped in the face and people are trying to pretend I don,t exist. I honestly feel like posting on everyones wall everyday that ignored me and telling them off.I was writing in my post on my wall the other day that everyone is a no good backstabber and since everyone is ignoring me I,ll ignored everybody back,i don,t know what piniserst is and I don,t know if I would like instargram I feel like it would make me jealous,it doesn,t really matter at the point because I have no relationships with anybody outside of this website.I am so bitter if anyone in my life  talked to me again I would reject them.

 

I understand, dude...people ignore me on social media too.  I'm always shocked when I see that somebody liked something or posted a positive comment on my pictures.  That rarely happens and sadly, humans are wired to need/want external validation or attention from others because we're social animals.

 

Pinterest is awesome...it's like a virtual vision board where you can "pin" (save) things you like, your personal interests and even connect with others who share mutual interests.  They don't even have to be people you know from Facebook or anything.   But it can be addictive because it's so much fun.

You have so much creative freedom on there, it's crazy!   There are a few bad seeds who try to bring negative energy but you learn to garden shrub them out pretty quickly.    And joining is easy, plus people follow you if they share your interests.

 

Instagram has its drawbacks...I can see why it would make people jealous because I struggle with that, too.  

All these girls and women showing off their beauty, being complimented by others triggers my feelings of being an ugly outsider.    I was never a "popular" girl and I've lost the little beauty I had at one point.  

So I understand where you are coming from.  But to some extent, it is less toxic than Facebook despite the competitive atmosphere.  

 

 

"garden shrub them out?"  Really?  I love DF, but the fact that some words are edited out is just crazy to me...oh, well.

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Oh brother, I done goofed!  Rhyl...please accept my humble apology.  I mistook you for another member on DF.  LaurynJCat is also a writer and she has a cat as her avatar and your posting style is very similar to hers.  

 

Jeez, I feel stupid now.   :coophaha:   Note to self:  check author before replying.  But still, my sentiments remain the same.  I can't wait for your book to be published.

 

LOL.  It's ok.  Lauryn is a friend.  She's cool.  :-)

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Social media is terrible in this regard; you get these stupid kids with Harley Quinn or Joker profile pics claiming to be "mentally ill" yet they don't know the quarter of it! They treat this like a game; worsening the stigma and adding to the ignorance of mental health. Seeing them do that just makes you want to give them a swift boot to the face.

Forget about venting or sharing anything on Facebook since the platform is so ban-happy now; "Hate speech?!" GTFO!!!!

Forums are the way to go honestly.

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@BrokenHorse228

People seem to be so much respectful and kind here compared to the more popular places. It’s like I’m talking to human beings here instead of talking to a bunch of lunatics.

I have been to places like Reddit and unless you go to the mental health sites you’ll get made fun of and all that. 

Yeah. People clearly do not understand depression. They don’t even talk about it where I live. Thousands are suffering yet the teachers are too lazy to teach the kids about it. 

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Yes, I have been to several different websites over the years and when I told people I was bi-polar they said I was lying and wanted attention...I can't believe how ignorant some people can be!!! I guess maybe it because they do not understand mental illness--but, I am thinking to myself, "Why would I make up something so awful"?? I wish people could be more understanding and think before they speak!! Is really annoying!! 8-/ 

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On 8/4/2018 at 7:13 AM, JustAnotherSufferer said:

@BrokenHorse228

People seem to be so much respectful and kind here compared to the more popular places. It’s like I’m talking to human beings here instead of talking to a bunch of lunatics.

I have been to places like Reddit and unless you go to the mental health sites you’ll get made fun of and all that. 

Yeah. People clearly do not understand depression. They don’t even talk about it where I live. Thousands are suffering yet the teachers are too lazy to teach the kids about it. 

I am a teacher and please know that we have to teach what the state tells us, not what we choose. I am open with my students about my depression and anxiety, and I try to be there for kids who have the same problems. There are lazy teachers, but please don’t lump us all together. 

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12 minutes ago, Tryingsohard said:

I am a teacher and please know that we have to teach what the state tells us, not what we choose. I am open with my students about my depression and anxiety, and I try to be there for kids who have the same problems. There are lazy teachers, but please don’t lump us all together. 

I feel you my friend and I totally agree with you everyone can not be placed in the same basket because there are some really good teachers out there.  When I was a child it was teachers that helped me to deal with my depression.  If it wasn’t for them, I probably would not be the person I am today.

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1 minute ago, Floor2017 said:

I feel you my friend and I totally agree with you everyone can not be placed in the same basket because there are some really good teachers out there.  When I was a child it was teachers that helped me to deal with my depression.  If it wasn’t for them, I probably would not be the person I am today.

Thank you. I wasn’t trying to be mean to the person who said that but it just hurts when people think all teachers are bad. It feels like everything gets blamed on us sometimes and most are doing the best we can. I’m so glad you had good teachers to help you through, that is one of my biggest goals in my career. Kids need to see the real us so they can connect and let their guard down sometimes. 

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1 minute ago, Tryingsohard said:

Thank you. I wasn’t trying to be mean to the person who said that but it just hurts when people think all teachers are bad. It feels like everything gets blamed on us sometimes and most are doing the best we can. I’m so glad you had good teachers to help you through, that is one of my biggest goals in my career. Kids need to see the real us so they can connect and let their guard down sometimes. 

Teachers impacted my life so much that on my off days I go Substituting Teaching. I really love trying to help make a difference in the children’s, who are struggling with life and schooling objectives.

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