Jump to content

Your Method To Meeting New People.


HenryGray

Recommended Posts

It's tough for me to meet new people.

 

Someone recommended Meetup, but nothing on there really interests me.

 

I tend to make friends through the hobbies and sports that I do.

 

But right now I am dealing with some chronic injury so it's hard to do the activity I usually do.

 

 

So, if you can, share some of your ways to meet new people.

 

 

Btw, I am in my early 40's if that helps.

 

 

Henry

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Meeting new people, HenryGray?  EEEEEWWW!!!   :smile:

 

Seriously, that's a great question.  A lot of us have real difficulty with this.

 

You've mentioned some good ones.  MeetUps (sorry you're not having luck there!), hobbies, sporting events... all are good.  What about church, religious practice, or on the flip side, a rationalist society of some sort?

 

You say you've got hobbies and are interested in sports... what about some online forums dedicated to those activities?  From there you can maybe see if you can connect via PM to someone in your area?

 

(Some groups - say, organizations around your hobbies - will allow you to participate via Skype or Google video messenger for the most part?  Might be worth investigating?)

 

What about your neighbors - anyone around you you could invite over for tea or to watch a ball game?  Relatives - or, perhaps they know people?

 

Just trying for you, my friend!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

After I got out of school, meeting people was one of the hardest things I could do. I tried activities and groups but nothing ever came of it. I corresponded with a couple people I met on a sailing cruise but that sort of petered out after a couple years.

 

But I was depressed at the time. I believe if I had not been depressed at the time, I would have been better able to make friends more easily.

 

I'm more open now and that is opening some doors to possible friendship.  

 

It's very difficult, though. I think you listed some very good things. 

 

As far as dating goes, I'd just go with online sites. There's no way I would be able to pick someone up at a bar  :uh-uh:

 

Peace and love

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the response, guys!

 

I actually haven't tried to go to any Meetups yet, just browsed through what's available in my area.

 

I tried online dating sites a long time ago, but did not have any luck.  

 

 

I tried other things before from recommendation from my therapist (who is Christian, but I am not)

 

going to my friend's church plus his bible study group.

 

going to AA meetings.

 

They were both interesting experience that I am glad I went to check it out, but bottom line I wasn't religious.

Although AA is not supposely "religious", IMO it really is.   And I wasn't an addict (just pretending to be one to play along) so I felt out of place there, but the atmosphere is friendly and better that being alone at home.  There were many people there dealing with depression also.    But AA got old for me after a while.

 

I think many introvert can relate to this. It makes things much easier if you have a wingman, not just for girls but just meeting new people.  Its takes too much effort to me to maintain a fluid conversation, it helps when there is a third person.

 

I never did the Toastmaster thing.   Maybe I will try that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh! I'm an introvert too but I did do Toastmasters in the past. It's a very supportive environment, so everyone is very friendly. I still have some people from there on my Facebook (which I am currently avoiding but yeah), years later. I keep forgetting about it for some reason (it was many years ago), but I'd definitely second that idea! I think Toastmasters might have been the number one reason I stopped getting irritated at small talk (because of our warm-up talk session thing) and I'm not particularly fearful of making a *prepared* speech in front of small or large audiences. Yet put me with a group of 3 or 4 people in a purely social setting and I'll either freeze up or go unnaturally hyper. :/

Edited by sabishikunaru
Link to comment
Share on other sites

A good trick for small talk is to get the other person to talk about themselves - something they like so they will spend a lot of time talking about it.

 

If I'm talking to someone who has a dog, I might say, "oh that's a beautiful dog. What breed its it?" and they will tell me. Then I will say, "you know, I don't know too much about dogs. Can you tell me how hard it is to live with dogs?" etc...

 

Just little questions, preferably insightful ones to show you're really listening, will keep someone talking. As you get more at ease with the conversation you can start offering more from your own experience. 

 

People like to talk about what they know. If you can find what they like, they'll talk your ear off and come away feeling like they had a great conversation with you.

 

Peace and love.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Starsea, those are some good tips.

 

thx for sharing.

 

I wish I have a puppy, in fact every depressed person should have one  :smilingteeth:

 

My old roommate had one before.   every time I walk that litttle guy, people would come up and talk to me, and girls would smile at me and ask me if they can pet him.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is there a type of volunteer work you'd be interested in, and isn't physically intensive? Fellow volunteers can be nice to talk to. You might even be able to teach something depending on your background/qualifications/the requirements where you live. :)

 

I should look into volunteering, never done it before.

 

I actually really enjoy teaching  people or helping people with stuff.   I need to look more into that to see whether a teaching job is feasible.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Starsea, those are some good tips.

 

thx for sharing.

 

I wish I have a puppy, in fact every depressed person should have one  :smilingteeth:

 

My old roommate had one before.   every time I walk that litttle guy, people would come up and talk to me, and girls would smile at me and ask me if they can pet him.....

 

Yeah. I use this trick from time to time. Think about the last time you met someone and had a really good conversation. Who did most of the talking?   :smilingteeth:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just act like myself.  Everyone I ever met in my life came from me doing my own thing and finding other people that were interested in what I was doing.  I talk to every person the same way.  It doesn't matter if they are a stranger I met on the street or the president.  I used to try to be fake but I'm done with that.  Life is too short.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, I like people who talk more than me so I don't have to carry the conversation.

 

but I get real talkative when it's something I am into.

 

I don't know, maybe I am just anti-social and don't really want to talk to people unless we share common interest.

 

Yeah. I use this trick from time to time. Think about the last time you met someone and had a really good conversation. Who did most of the talking?    :smilingteeth:

 

Edited by HenryGray
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess for me it's easy because I am a very extrovert person (definitely wasn't always like that!) I took me years to get here but now I just walk up to people, give a compliment or ask a general question. 90% that works. Because who doesn't like a compliment or tell something about himself. You can meet people anywhere really, public transportation, in the supermarket.. Like mentioned before volunteering is always a great way to interact with people who have the same interests as you do. My mom has met a lot of her friends while volunteering.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

A couple of my closest friends are people I met on MySpace, back in the day. I used their discussion forums. We added each other as "friends," talked a lot, and eventually met in person. 

 

A couple of other close friends are people I met at school. It's never too late to go back! Especially in college, when you can take classes that you're actually interested in. 

 

A couple of other close friends are people I met at work. It's kind of hard not to make friends at work, since there is a lot of down time, and you get to talk to people sooner or later. 

 

If you're religious, you could try church. But I never really talked to strangers at church when I used to go. If you have time to spare and would like to freshen up on your skills or make connections or something, volunteering could pay off.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...