Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Hi I have been struggling with depression for years and I feel as though I have finally hit rock bottom. My school life was miserable, I have no qualifications, I was useless at the subjects and constantly bullied. I am 23 now and I have had enough of life. I have had three girlfriends, and I always end up alone.

I have always been cynical and a pessimist. I hate the world, I hate how humans are to each other, all the awful things that happen in the world makes my depression worse, I don't understand why humans have to cause such suffering and pain to others.

Recently I had a great girlfriend, we hit it off instantly and I fell in love with her and she said she loved me. Everything was going great, for the first time in a long time I had a girl who loved me, it helped me alot. I still hated life but I felt uplifted, I thought things would go well for a change. Then all of a sudden she breaks up with me after encountering an ex of hers that brought up old feelings. I have tried all I can to get her back, but now she barely speaks to me as a friend. It broke my heart and when things were getting better they got a whole lot worse.

I love her more than anything and I spend my days crying and thinking about her, I don't enjoy anything anymore, I barely have an appetite, nothing on tv keeps me watching, none of my games are fun anymore. I'm so sick of being alone. I hate that I treat girls well and have bad luck, then see girls go out with total jerks, it's just kicking you when you're down. I tried to convince myself that finding a job would help, but now it doesn't motivate me at all. How can I get a job when I don't even want to live?

I don't know what to do, I have friends and the best family in the world. But without romantic love I can't feel any joy. Everywhere I go and everything I do reminds me of her, she broke my heart and hurt me and doesn't seem to care but I can't stop loving her and life is just getting to hard to take. The only thing that stopped me from ******* myself is I don't want to put my family in misery. Life shouldn't be like this, the world shouldn't be like this. I just have no hope.

Thanks for reading.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey, Into the void. Sound's like you got a lot going on in your world. I'm so sorry to hear about your girl friend, I've gotten my heart broken a few times as well. I know you don't want to hear " your young, you will get over her", because it's just not that easy. But you do have a lot more living to do...Get with someone you trust and talk about these feelings, like a therapist. You may temporarily need to get on some antidepressants. I really wish I could give you some good advice on your girlfriend, ex. I'm sure you will get many more responses. Just keep on, keeping on...PEACE and Welcome to our Forum... :cat_jumps: 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Into the void. I feel you. I've had a lot of problems with the need for romantic love in my life. I'm an extremely passionate person, all I can tell you is no matter how bad things looked at the time for me - I had to believe things would improve. Don't give up hope, and welcome to the forum. I hope you feel some comfort with us.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello!  I'm glad that you found this site.  I think it will help you to find others that have gone through similar experiences.  I know my heart has been broken before!  Please don't think that you will never find another person to love.  It just takes time.  I hope that you continue to post on the forum.  You will find that the people on here are very understanding & empathetic.  Good luck!  :welcomeani:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks guys, it means alot and your words are comforting. I am lucky to have such a great family and friends, but I long for romance, I long for someone to love, it's hard. I do what I can to change my outlook on life. I am hanging out with friends, playing with my pets. Just doing what I can to get my mind on something positive. I wish I had optimism and a positive attitude to life, but when I think something positive will happen and it doesn't, it just makes me feel worse. It sucks that life has to be this way, where good people suffer and awful people seem to win and live in bliss.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's really tough to be in a relationship that is your entire life, especially when you're the type who suffers from depression.  I know me and my last boyfriend had a really intense, volatile relationship, and when it finally ended it felt like everything was crashing down, and it exacerbated my depression so much. 

 

One thing that has helped me a lot is just going to therapy regularly.  (Medications have helped sometimes but also presented nearly unbearable side effects at other times.  But I'm holding out hope for something that works still.)  I had to do a lot of work (still workin' on it) to recognize my unhealthy thought patterns and then try to change them.  It's really hard to enjoy life when you hate yourself and the world, and I totally did for a while there.  I still do sometimes.

 

Just know that if you're at rock bottom now, it's probably going to get better.  I'm sure there's something you're good at, and I'm sure you'll find someone who is a great match for you.  Life sucks x1000 right now for you, but people do get better all the time, and there's no reason you can't be one of them.  :) 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...