Jump to content

Recommended Posts

My son got diarrhea from eating too much of this certain candy. Because of this, his little hiney is very red and very sore. I keep gooping destin on him, but it still is very red and says ow and gets tears in his eyes when I change his diaper.

I am the worst mother. What mother lets this happen? I am horrible. He deserves so much better. It's my fault he is hurting. He's not even two and I'm hurting him. I don't deserve my children or my husband. They would be better off without me. I hate myself. They need to get away from me. I am such a horrible, awful, terrible mother.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi ThundercatGummy,

 

I'm sorry to hear that your'e feeling that way - but it's simply not true.  You made an innocent mistake that all other mothers make in one form or another, and it caused your child some discomfort.  Children are hard-wired to handle these little, fleeting moments of soreness, diarrhea, etc., and it is not something he will remember or associate with you as a mother.

 

Just the fact that you feel so miserable about this shows that you not only deserve your children and husband, but that you are an excellent mother.  I can say confidently that they would be much worse off without you helping out.  There are mothers and fathers out there who make mistakes that are horrendous in comparison to a diaper rash; they spend their lives regretting these things, if they ever come to realize they were wrong.  But you are not this type of mother.  You are a caring, loving mother who is making herself sick with guilt because she can so clearly empathize with her son.  It is because of you that your son can find comfort in this time of discomfort, which will surely pass like any other moment.

 

Keep your head up.  You're an excellent mother.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi thundercat, being a parent is an incredible preasure. Once my niece got a tummy problem and it was because we werent giving the formula following the exact indications; as soon as we realized we stopped and triyed our best to make it better... its scary being a mom and a wife, changes and responsabilities they all add up, but you try your best because hopefully when your son grows up he will know the sacrifices you've made and a moderate amount of they worries he gave you, the same way we appreciate our parents for raising us even though they werent perfect themselves...Just so u know my niece is well thank God and right now shes the clossest thing to a thunder ive ever seen :smile: . Children are amazing and so are relotionships try to enjoy it, you owe it to yourself.

hope your soon gets better soon, take care.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

(((TG)))

 

You aren't a horrible mother sweetheart. Is this your first born? I guess it really doesn't matter if it is or not, but with the first ones we are so sensitive to their aches and pains. Trust me, you aren't alone in your feelings. His little behind will heal, let him run around without a diaper on a few minutes to help him air out. (I know it's a risky thing to do but will help to not have a diaper on him for just a little bit). I've been where you are, probably more times than I can remember. My boys are teens now and I still think I'm an awful mom.....but we aren't. Especially those of us that are writing posts about being a horrible awful mother. We aren't those things but our depression, anxiety and fears take control and we're always our best critics.

 

Hang in there, TG. You're doing a great job. give yourself some credit. (((Hugs)))

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know this is a few days old but I wanted to see how you and your son are doing. Don't feel bad about him eating too much candy, it happens sometimes. I know it is scary being responsible for little people sometimes but it is a learning process for all of us. I hope you are feeling better.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for checking in jalee. My son's bottom is much better and I'm feeling better also. Sometimes I feel like if I was a good mother, I wouldn't make mistakes when it comes to my children. I do understand that is a warped and unhelpful way to think. I'm working on that. Self hatred and self shaming and self blame are always what my mind jumps to first. I need to get myself to realize that everyone makes mistakes. Perfect is an unachieveable goal. But I can learn from mistakes right? So next time my aunt offers him candy with fake sugar I can tell both him and her no, that it hurts his stomach and I can prevent it from happening again. Right? At least that's what I'm telling myself lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I once fed my child day old breast milk and it made them very ill. I felt horrible. it was as if I had poisoned my baby. But in the end they were just fine. As parents we make thousands upon thousands of mistakes. There is no way to be perfect. And our children will be alright.

 

To be a good parents we just need to love our children and do our best.

 

Peace and love

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for checking in jalee. My son's bottom is much better and I'm feeling better also. Sometimes I feel like if I was a good mother, I wouldn't make mistakes when it comes to my children. I do understand that is a warped and unhelpful way to think. I'm working on that. Self hatred and self shaming and self blame are always what my mind jumps to first. I need to get myself to realize that everyone makes mistakes. Perfect is an unachieveable goal. But I can learn from mistakes right? So next time my aunt offers him candy with fake sugar I can tell both him and her no, that it hurts his stomach and I can prevent it from happening again. Right? At least that's what I'm telling myself lol

 

A good mom makes mistakes, she just learns from them. I am so happy you and your son are feeling better. If you are up to it, check out the reviews for the sugar free gummy bears with the gold label, I can't help but laugh even though it is not nice to.

 

I (on more then one occasion) found out the hard way why you don't let your toddler (still in diapers) eat watermelon. Or small pieces of pitted cherries. Or grapes. LOL. It is fruit, it won't hurt them they said. But look at how much they love it they said. My poor nose is still reeling, lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

You sound like you love your son so very much. I think you are so afraid of losing him, that you think of reasons to not deserve him in your life.

Every child has experiences like your son. You didn't do anything wrong. Trillions of parents send their children to school almost every day of their childhood. Every one of those children will catch a cold from exposure at their school. Many will catch the flu, or chicken pocks. Some will even be bullied. Undoubtedly, these children will cry in pain and some parents might blame themselves but very, very few people would blame the parents.

You gave your son candy and that was sweet of you. You did it because you love him and I'm sure he appreciated it. You had no idea that he had a sensitivity to it. My parents gave me medications that nearly killed me but they didn't know better. it hasn't even crossed my mind to blame them. You son will get better soon and he'll be happy to have a mommy that loves and cares for him. I have very fond memories of my mom putting ear drops in my ears when I had ear infections. I was screaming in pain and I remember that pain very well but I also remember my mom trying to make it better. I was never mad that water entered my ears when she washed my hair, and led to an infection. It's impossible to not make mistakes.

There's a reason why "human error" is accepted as a fact of life. If you had more insight into the lives of other mothers/children, you'd see just how normal and human you are.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...