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Do You Look Forward To Anything? Anything At All?


Starsea

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That's so awesome! Do you already have tattoos?^^ 

 

I've decided to get a tattoo to commemorate my rebirth. I have the design I want. And will meet my intended artist soon.

 

 

None -- other than an inadvertent one I accidentally gave myself with a mechanical pencil.

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Hey jd thirsty years? My wife and I have started on our 35th year and I can't imagine life without her. I worry that she'll die before me and leave me to face life without her. But it sounds like you're happy and in the end that's what matters most.

Ya. 30 years officially, and 2 "unofficial" years before that.

 

There's a long story behind the divorce, but the short story was I got lots of mental abuse. I tried to commit the big S, and luckily failed.

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Ya. 30 years officially, and 2 "unofficial" years before that.

 

There's a long story behind the divorce, but the short story was I got lots of mental abuse. I tried to commit the big S, and luckily failed.

 

JD, I'm really sorry you had to go through that. But I'm really glad you're still around.

 

I'm hoping I can be as strong as you as I go through my own marriage trouble.

 

Peace and love

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I guess.

 

Problem is the things I look forward to tend to be things that push me away from the things I don't really want to do but they are the very things I need to be doing. In turn those things I look forward to leave me feeling incredibly guilty as I know I have only indulged in them because they are distracting me from the really important stuff.

 

One of the few things that I find has no guilt attached is when family come and visit. I get to lose my worries (mostly) when my younger nieces and nephews come and visit. I also try hard to treat them in a way that builds their confiedence from their tender ages.

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.

JD, I'm really sorry you had to go through that. But I'm really glad you're still around.

 

I'm hoping I can be as strong as you as I go through my own marriage trouble.

 

Peace and love

 

 

Thanks. Best wishes for whatever it is you are going through.

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I look forward to quite a few things. I'm grateful that hope was restored within my soul.

Some things I look forward to are:

- Waking up to my doggy. Even though my hubby goes to work before I wake up, I can snooze with my dog and cuddle with him.

- Going to work. I'm fortunate to say that I love my job. I love working with everyone I'm around.

- My future. I've been working hard, for a long time. I've gone through many battles and as of late I've finally been having my head above water. I'm looking forward to more progress.

- Coming home after a long day and cracking open a book.

- Exercise. Sometimes it's hard but I'm able to look forward to it more often then ever before. (Progress)

- Amino Acid Therapy/ Getting healthier. I'm determined to not let any of my mental illnesses ruin my potential in my life!

- AA/NA meetings. I've met some beautiful beautiful souls there. It helps to remind me why I'm sober!

- My future with my man. He's so supportive.

The list goes on.

Sending peace, love, and happiness your way!

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-getting a good sleep on the weekends

-having sleeping pills to help sleep

-long weekend

-camping

-delicious food

-Halloween- always so fun

-Christmas- good quality family time

-seasons changing, especially the start of fall and winter because those are my faves

-paying odd my student loan

-travelling and seeing new places

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Do You Look Forward To Anything? Anything At All?

 

 

 

Unfortunately not much.

 

 

I look forward to the weekends because I  don't have to work, but I spend my weekends doing nothing.

 

 

I feel like I am stuck in this rut and just trapped.

 

 

It sucks when you are 42 and living at home with your parents and a brother that you don't talk to.

and I can't afford to live on my own with my low paying job.

I don't really have any close friends and I don't attempt to reach out to others.

and I don't even know if there are any women will even want to hang around somelike me.

I just feel broken.

 

 

I guess that I should be thankful that I am at least working and have access to meds and therapy from medical.

 

I want change, but I don't know if it's possible.

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I was never diagnosed with depression, but I haven't gotten myself checked either, still though.

 

Looking forward to:

- Going home everyday

- Coffee in the morning

- Listening to an unfound masterpiece

- Autumn

- Finding my true purpose

- Finding something worth spending my time on

- Eating sushi with my middle school friends and catchup (Which always makes me depressed in the end: "Everyone is moving forward, but my clock stopped ticking")

 

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I'm very happy you failed. Really. There's a saying in Spanish that says it's better to be alone than with bad or miserable company. No one knows you or your situation better than you. We all deserve happiness.

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Going to a good college and getting away from the chaos and negativity I've been in my whole life. Having a day where from the time I wake up to when I go to sleep I'm happy. Having the freedom to not be held in chains by my home circumstances and not looked down upon because of my age or my family's income.

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I have nothing to look forward to. I lost the will to live, so what is there left?

 

I'm really sorry. I've been there.

 

First off: if you feel you may harm yourself, please get immediate help. Call a hotline or go to a hospital. Do what you need to get help.

 

It's awful to feel this way but it can get better.  Therapy and medication are helping me pull myself out of a 40 year depression. Please believe me. It can get better.

 

Have you spoken with your doctor about this? Do you have a therapist?  They really can help you.

 

We're here for you but nothing can replace face-to-face therapy and medication.

 

Peace and love

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Going to a good college and getting away from the chaos and negativity I've been in my whole life. Having a day where from the time I wake up to when I go to sleep I'm happy. Having the freedom to not be held in chains by my home circumstances and not looked down upon because of my age or my family's income.

 

Good for you, I wish I had done that when I was going to college instead of staying at home trying to save money.

I ended up dropping out as my depression started to come on strong.

 

It sucks to be stuck in a negative environment.

Just saps the energy out of one's soul.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Do I look forward to anything, anything at all?

 

VERY good question!

 

I've got:

 

* Supposedly some pretty good financial news coming up on Monday.

* A free summer coming up - getting some sun, doing some reading.

* A couple of trips to Europe coming up (supposedly!) in the next 11 months.

 

And... I'm not especially looking forward to any of it.  There's just something really sapping about living a life unshared.  Waking up in a small little house all by myself.  Just marking time until the big dirt nap.

 

I know all of the theories and platitudes - every day is a new opportunity, things won't always be this way, attitude is everything.  And I try to encourage everyone.  But about half the time I don't believe those things for myself.  I've been alone all my life.  Totally unlovable.  My ex- was unable to tell me that she ever loved me.  A couple of girlfriends, but nothing serious.  And the one other woman who told me she loved me... has since married two other guys.

 

Sigh.  You'd think I was depressed or something.

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My depression has improved since I took medication, I honestly cannot tell if I am still depressed from a medical perspective. At some point I declared myself to be depression free in the sense that I was "out of the forest" but still "stuck in the wilderness".

 

I am not sure if I look forward to anything though. I feel disturbed with powerful intrusive thoughts.

 

I am beginning to realize that I no longer enjoy anything in life anymore.

 

 

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I look forward to finally falling head-over-heels in love someday - and for that person to feel the same way about me back. I know that's more long-term.....

 

A more short-term thing to look forward to, I guess, is watching my extra weight come off as I continue to eat healthy and exercise again. I'm also counting on my depression lifting (not completely, I'm sure, but going into "remission" rather) if I stay committed to a healthier lifestyle.

 

A daily thing I look forward to, while small, is pulling into my apartment complex at the end of each day. It is peaceful and pretty. I pull up in front of my garage and look up at my patio and the numbers above the garage, and feel happy and blessed that I have my own space, my own refuge from the rest of the world.

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I look forward to finally falling head-over-heels in love someday - and for that person to feel the same way about me back. I know that's more long-term.....

 

A more short-term thing to look forward to, I guess, is watching my extra weight come off as I continue to eat healthy and exercise again. I'm also counting on my depression lifting (not completely, I'm sure, but going into "remission" rather) if I stay committed to a healthier lifestyle.

 

A daily thing I look forward to, while small, is pulling into my apartment complex at the end of each day. It is peaceful and pretty. I pull up in front of my garage and look up at my patio and the numbers above the garage, and feel happy and blessed that I have my own space, my own refuge from the rest of the world.

 

That's really great!

 

Except for the part about the depression not completely lifting. As my therapist would say, "that's a depressing thing to say."   :laugh:

 

I'm looking forward to my depression lifting completely. If I shoot for less than that, I might not make it.

 

But, really, that's a really positive post. You made my night.

 

Peace and love

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