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Creativity When Depressed?


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If I try.

If I try really hard I'll forget my past.
If I try really hard I'll give in.

If I try.

If I pour my heart out over and over.
I'll have nothing left to care about.

That way I'll stop hurting.
I'll stop giving a damn.
About anyone or anything.

The love I give will be done.
The love I'm capable of will be lost forever.

Wasted on nothing.
Nothing but lost emotions.

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Mentioned Natalie several times but I think I may have finally closed the door as far as how I feel about her. Managed to do it with this song...

 

https://soundcloud.com/traviswolfe101/believe-me-natalie

 

Hope that if she ever does listen to this one she is reminded of who she lost and just how much she had hurt me. Yet she'll never truly understand why I loved her so much and for so long.

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Mentioned Natalie several times but I think I may have finally closed the door as far as how I feel about her. Managed to do it with this song...

 

https://soundcloud.com/traviswolfe101/believe-me-natalie

 

Hope that if she ever does listen to this one she is reminded of who she lost and just how much she had hurt me. Yet she'll never truly understand why I loved her so much and for so long.

I like it a lot roadking. Great work, I'm happy you're able to express through your music! Keep it up!

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Thoughts about life and death and love and loneliness and philosophy and science and religion. My own thoughts seems so tedious to me so I imagine others will be equally bored by them. I once came up the outlines of several short stories which I couldn't be bothered to write.

You never know how others will see your writing. Sometimes reading others perceptions on life opens up people to different views. No one has wasted input, its just up to others how they process it. I'm sure you have great thoughts to contribute, don't sell yourself short! =)

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Strum

Take out my lungs.
All they do is fill with air so I can scream.
Take out my heart.
All it does is beat with my love for you.

Rip out the sky from my eyes.
All it does is give me hope.
Destroy the ground beneath my feet.
All it does is keep me grounded.

Make me blind.
All it does is make me curse the world.
Take out my tongue.
All it does is make me speak lies.

Seal my ears shut.
All they do is hear wishes.
Pour out my soul.
All it does is attach myself to you.

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Mentioned Natalie several times but I think I may have finally closed the door as far as how I feel about her. Managed to do it with this song...

 

https://soundcloud.com/traviswolfe101/believe-me-natalie

 

Hope that if she ever does listen to this one she is reminded of who she lost and just how much she had hurt me. Yet she'll never truly understand why I loved her so much and for so long.

I like it a lot roadking. Great work, I'm happy you're able to express through your music! Keep it up!

 

 

If I can come up with more songs similar in terms of production I may make an entire album. My last 2 albums were acoustic stuff... It's a great outlet for sure. Talent sometimes though can be a curse.

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Actually got some writing accomplished this weekend. Have another assignment to accept if I want. Was not going to do it, but now I think I will since I seem to have a breakthrough.

And yes, writer's block is evil. Sometimes I get "good writing block" too; nothing seems to come out as I want it and what does is just awful.

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I will take everything from you.
Little insecure girl.
I'll suck all the passion from your life.
Your emotions will become my lifeforce.

After I've sucked you dry I'll leave.

Like so many before you I'll discard you.
Little insecure girl what do you see?
Do you see the reflection of your life draining away?
I know you cant see me.

I'm an emotional vampire.

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The shattered mirror cannot reflect me.

I struggle and crane my neck looking for the right angle.
If I twist this way and twist that way... will I see me?
I might - but it will be distorted.
My cheeks sag, my eyes slant.
Is this the real me?

A quick glance and I catch a glimpse of who I was.
Normal, kind, caring.
But under closer inspection I find the demon within.
Twisted and angry.
Waiting to explode at the first chance.

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Re-working my dragon rider story.  I had some pretty implausible ideas going, and let me tell you, they were hard to get rid of. Ugh. But I've got it going again.  Now if I can just get back to my Sherlock fan fiction...

 

abandonedalways, I like the emotional vampire poem. I worked with someone like that.  I never realized how toxic they were until they were gone.  Despite all the extra work and incredible stress their leaving gave me, it was still much better without them. Thank you!

Edited by 20YearsandCounting
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I have been writing since I was in middle school (2002 or thereabouts), and more often since I was in high school. However, I find that depression saps me of my ideas far too often. I have written countless poems - free verse, haiku, quatrains, sonnets, and even the occasional diamante or limerick. One of my all-time favourites is an attempt at a sonnet I wrote about my ex-girlfriend. Her nickname is "Chelle" (pronounced "Shelly"). It's supposed to be a Shakespearean sonnet, although strictly speaking, it is not one, since it's not quite in iambic pentameter. I showed it to her and she seemed to be moved, so it accomplished its purpose. But I digress.

 

"What Chelle Is"

A gentle zephyr on a cool evening

A masterpiece amongst great works of art

Aurora Borealis in person

The undisputed owner of my heart

With stars in her eyes, an ambitious soul

Money, wanderlust, and riches galore

Wealth, success, and travel - none are enough

She is so special and worthy of more

More bright than the light of the moon and the stars

Beautiful, like a rose or a daisy

More magical than a great wizard's wand

So wonderful she drives a man crazy.

The moon and the stars are far beyond reach

No one but Chelle is worthy of each.

Edited by Luis
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Another song. I'm kinda evenly split between writing normal songs and writing things in rap format... I just get really embarassed posting my rap stuff because... well I'm a tall white guy rapping about depression so... yeah enough said, haha. Feeling bold though, wrote this today so enjoy or laugh accordingly.

 

NEVER MIND
 

Well, essentially I’m optional

Far from being optimal

No more pain, my cup is full

Magnetism with no real pull

Guaranteed to bore you all

Flower growin’ from the wall

Yeah, laughing as the pedals fall

Missed out on your socials calls

No I can’t be called to action

Don’t understand what it is you’re askin’

At least that’s what I tell myself

Concerned about my mental health

When everyone defines your wealth

How do you define yourself?

 

(BRIDGE)

Nah, but you ain’t listenin’

Your interest is fizzlin’

And now you got me bristlin’

 

(CHORUS)

But never mind a thing I said

Broken thoughts from fractured heads

So never mind the story’s end

Yeah, you’ll probably like me better dead...

So never mind a thing I said

 

Defined by all the things I flee

Monkey on my back you see

Darkness all in front of me

Head and heels now I’m tumbling

Broken, bl**dy fingers fumbling

Try to speak, I’m mumbling

My head is always rumbling

Crashing and thundering

Jagged thoughts, they sunder me

Floor pulled out from under me

It always leaves me wondering

 

How do you fix it?

With no tools, no map, I lost all the instructions

Sitting in the glow of this destruction

Head filled with corruption

Not enough deductions

For my emotional overload

I’m trying to stop the overflow

But where does all the anger go?

Paid for everything you got for free

No don’t concern yourself with me

Yeah, broken minds are frightening

 

Nah, but you ain’t listenin’

Your interest is fizzlin’

And now you got me bristlin’

 

But never mind a thing I said

Broken thoughts from fractured heads

So never mind the story’s end

Yeah, you’ll probably like me better dead...

So never mind a thing I said

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I like it dog, No Shame in being a tall white rapper. Thanks for the contribution it was a good read.

 

----- I have no real reason for writing this. Besides the fact that I'm tumbling lower and lower.

 

 

I'm so tired of all of this~

I'm tired of the ups and downs of life.
Waking up is just an excuse to feel pain.

I hate the burden of responsibility.
Remember when I say -
You're not the one to blame.

As I go to sleep tonight I hope and I pray.
For the cowards way out.

When I dream I hope it shows me the way.
I hope I see the last seconds of my life tick away.

Tick, tock.
Tick, tock.
You'll never understand the pain you've caused me.

Each moment I trace another scar.
My fingers relive each moment of pain.

Hot, Cold, Burning

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