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miche31

Day 8 On Cymbalta Diary

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I've cross threaded this in another post, so forgive me if you see this in another area.  I've decided to note my daily progress instead of coming on daily and asking for help in numerous posts.

 

I don't think Cymbalta is going to help me, but I'm trying to take each day as it is and be very patient....which is so hard when your in the midsts of severe anxiety.  I'm also not thinking it will work since I took it 3 years ago, and after two years it just stopped working last year, at 60mg.  Granted I could have tried going up in dose, and to be honest I don't know why I didn't...but I stopped taking it over the course of 4-5 months.  Since going off I had a sister suddenly die, and another go through cancer.  So I knew I was going to still need another AD, I went to a psychiatrist nurse.  There are no real psychiatrists in my area...but this one is a specialized advanced nurse practitioner who only deals with psychiatry. 

 

I have taken xanx for the last 5 years on an as needed basis.  Some days I don't need any, other days its 3.  But I've always tried to be careful; however, there has never been an AD that took all my severe anxiety away so the Dr.'s agreed that I benefit rather than not.

 

Anyways, I tried Prozac and Paxil this year and quit both of them after one week because of the side effects.  I'm so sensitive that it is very hard for me to stick out the side effects and often I quit before I know if it will work.  I did try Zoloft and it made me suicidal, and Celexa and Lexapro I did stick out and took 7 years ago, but they both stopped working after a time.  I did try to take them again but second time around didn't work.

 

So they decided to try Cymbalta again.  I'm so scared it won't work since it stopped before and I have it in my mind that it won't work which plays with my head.  I'm wishing I would have stuck out the Prozac now, but at the moment this is what I have.

 

Day 1-2 Took 20mg.  High anxiety.  Insomnia, 4 hours max sleep, waking up in panic and have to get up and pace

Day 3 Took 30mg.  Same

Day 4 Took 30mg.  Couldn't leave my bedroom until 1pm.  Worse anxiety ever.  Took a little Xanax  Still insomnia and panic upon waking

Day 5 Took 20mg.  Same as days 1-3  Called Dr.s nurse, she said up to 30mg because 20mg wasn't even a therapeutic dose. Told me to stay on it as I don't give any others a chance and that it could very well work again.

Day 6 Took 30mg Same as all the other days

Day 7 Took 30mg  Worse anxiety ever so far.  I was a mess all day, pacing, panicking.  I called psyches nurse but they are gone until Tuesday

Day 8 Took 30mg.  Brings me to here.  Still having insomnia, woke up at 5 and took a half a Xanax.  It is now 11:30 and I have not left my house.  I did print out a bunch of self help worksheets to try to do and I do make myself leave the house at least a few times a day, but it's always after noon as the mornings it's hard to function.  I was taking it at night, now I've got it early afternoon.  I might try to go down to morning time, but we'll see.

My family is worried about me, and frankly so am I.  I have severe agoraphobia right now and bad health anxiety.  This isn't helping.  I will continue to try sticking this out until Tuesday when I have a med check up with the psyches nurse.

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Cymbalta increases anxiety and insomnia for certain people such as myself. You should voice this concern with your practitioner and ask for a mood stabilizer or something similar. I'm on 80mg Cymbalta. I take 2.5mg Abilify and 875mg Depakote for anxiety and the Depakote helps with insomnia as well. I'm also specifically using 5mg ER melatonin, 900mg valerian root and 25mg Seroquel for the insomnia. It's been working quite well for me recently. My doctor, a psychopharmacologist says the Cymbalta/Depakote combo works quite for whatever reason. 

 

I also see a therapist to help me cope with the anxiety.

 

Hope that helps a little. 

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Give it time it sucks but you need to stay the course. I think for me it was like a month before things got better. It was 3 years ago so hard to remember but I know I was hating it. I want on it when I started a drug trial program cause I had been in about 5 others meds over the years. I was at my wits end.

Hang in there.

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Day 9  30mg Still taking half a xanax at night to sleep. Up at 2, and up at 5am, took half Xanax back to bed for 2 hours.  Lethargic upon waking but can no longer sleep at 7am.  Had a decent day.  Took a friend to town and she bought me lunch and I actually was able to eat.

 

Day 10 30mg Again, up at 3, up at 5am, so half Xanax, up at 8.  Dreams are bizarre.  Day was too.  Worked outside half of the day....trying to stay busy as best as I can.  My foster son graduated today and that was very very hard to go to.  I couldn't even put on a bbq afterwards so his sister did it at her house for me.  Then had to go get a friends dog to watch for a week or two while she gets her heart checked out.  Not sure that was a good idea.

 

Day 10 30mg Same routine, half Xanax at night and then up at 2 and 4 or 5 and again half a Xanax. Had a med checkup with the psyches nurse, and she said stay the course for now, since it's not worse but maybe better as I'm not hiding in my room and closet.

 

Day 11 30mg Same night routine, but this time I don't take the half a Xanax at 5 and stay in bed in a restless agitated zombie state until I get up at 8:40.  Horrible dreams.  Bad anxiety today.  My 19yr old son is having bad anxiety the last week and he's been staying up all night and sleeping during the day and I think that has contributed to my anxiety.  He refuses medication; and that is his choice, at 19, I would like him to at least seek counseling and other healthy avenues first.  But it's hard getting myself help and not being able to help him.  I got a call this afternoon that I have a checkup with my psych, which wasn't supposed to be for 3 more weeks since I seen the nurse yesterday, but oh well, I'll take advantage and go anyways. 

 

So from last post to this post, I am not hiding in my room any longer, or my closet.  I can feel the anxiety and panic but it is not reacting out.  I am trying hard to stay calm and positive and working on some self help techniques.  I have bad tinnitus since starting so hoping that will go away, but might not.  The sleep has always been bad so can't blame that on the Cymbalta.  I still have severe agoraphobia but just avoid situations for now.  My nervous system is still too shot to worry about addressing it.  I just need to get to a calm state for a bit then work back on things.  Hoping that the Cymbalta will help again. 

Edited by miche31

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Day 12   Still getting up through out the night.  Have to go to the bathroom, cat needs out, etc  Up at 5, took the Xanax, back up at 7:31.  Racing thoughts, weird dreams, yawning badly, really hot, nauseated.  Went and seen the psych, she said she wanted me to take Cymbalta because I felt safe with it and she frankly wanted me to just start Something she said, and after a month if it's not working still we can go up or switch or augment.  Still not hungry, have to force myself to eat.  I make myself stay trying to find something to do so my thoughts don't get my anxiety going.  Anxiety in the evening.  Took 1/2 Xanax at midnight to sleep

 

Day 13  Terrible night.  Was up almost hourly.  Can't function until around 11.  Getting tired of the dreams and thoughts.  Yawning, just don't feel normal, good or right.  In afternoon try to again stay busy.  Try to watch a little tv in the evening.  Took 2/3 Xanax at midnight.

 

Day 14  Terrible night again.  Up hourly.  A lot due to external factors and I wake up to anything as I am a light sleeper.  Morning I am really crabby, anxious and sick to my stomach.  Hurting physically, yawning.  Listening to an audio on lowering anxiety, also listened to some Claire Weekes.  I had to take a 1/4 of a Xanax in the morning to finally calm my anxiety. I run to town in the afternoon and then to my folks for 2 hours, which was very hard to do.  I am lightheaded and very "out of it" feeling all day.  In the afternoon I am so tired and yawning.  I kind of nod off lightly for an hour then back up.  Watch a little tv in the evening, make my son dinner and I go to bed at 10 and read on the internet unti midnight.  1/2 Xanax at midnight.  I take this mostly to stop my thoughts

 

Day 15  Fell asleep at 12:30, but up at 3, 5 and 7:30.  I feel so out of it.  I am beginning to think I am never going to feel good or normal again.  I was extremely hot on waking and nauseated.  It is now 10 in the morning and I am just struggling.  I am trying so hard to keep plugging along and yet I'm not seeing any positive results. I put a call into the psych about this Cymbalta not helping at all and what her recommendations are, as I don't think I can go another two weeks like this.  I am having severe health anxiety over some issues....and I don't know if my feelings are valid or in my head.  I have lost 20 pounds the last 2 month.  I was very overweight so can afford this but still...it concerns me.  I had blood tests ran a week ago and will go over the results with my Dr. in a month.  But I got the results already online and some things are off, not super severe, but it still concerns me that there are tests off and she isn't calling me.

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