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Do You Ever Feel Different From Most People?


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 Even when I'm not a completely depressed mess, often I feel like there is something inherently different about me (different from a lot of people - I notice it less here around other depressed people, interestingly) - that I "think" differently and do not quite fit anywhere. Though it can make things tough, I am not saying that means something is wrong with me or that I hate it, only that I feel different. I could expand on this, but I feel like leaving it vague is good so anyone who has had a similar feeling can chime in. I wonder if it is related to depression, even when not depressed.

 

- Christina

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Me too,that's why i choose to not to have any friends or any other people in my life..i used to be happy in my own life other than trying to live in fake world where money is everything,i don't believe in marriage too,i only adore nature and animals and love to hug trees i see..this kind of relationship is much more realistic and relaxing.

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Yeah I always felt like that since I was younger I always feel like an outsider,like I am from a different country and just visting.I am so used to being alone it seems like a foreign concept for me to need people,I  am use to being a loner and by myself I feel self sufficient and indepdent all the time,I feel like needing people is a weakness and a liability.I have hung around people and im use to faking that I enjoy,the only time I reach out to others and is when im lonely and depressed,when I feel happy I am content reading a book,watching tv,playing games,writing and medating.I don,t really feel shy around people,I just feel like people aren't worth the effort of getting to know them,I feel bored after being friends with people to long then I move along and try to make new friends again,I feel like a lone ranger who comes into to town talks to people,to get stuff done accomplish my goal I have then I just leave and move onto my next destination.In high school I was part of every group had friends and no enemies but I always felt like I didn,t have a group of my own,im the same way at college work,parties I go to I just feel like I am a stranger to most people,I have spoken to lots of people at work and school and im sure some of them considered me there friend but I never really felt close to anyone since middle school before my depression started,now I feel like I am a ghost just observing the world and the people in it.

Edited by scienceguy
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Yes I feel like that quite often. Not even so much because I've suffered mental illness but also because I just am so different then people my age. I am almost 24 and I pretty much don't like most things people my age enjoy. Going out, drinking alcohol, date.. People always look weird when I tell them! I just really don't feel like doing those things though. Besides that my family has always called me different. I still don't really know why, I was an extremely shy child? So that definitely hasn't helped on me feeling normal.

Edited by Cupcake_girl
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When I was a kid and my parents would force me to go to church and I felt like Damien from the movie The Omen.   The other kids in my youth group thought I had an attitude problem.  I thought they were stupid.

 

In high school I smoked blunts and drank and partied a lot.

 

I was BAF most of the time.  This was also about the time my depression first reared it's ugly head.

 

I always sort of had an attraction towards the dark side of life.

 

So yes I felt different, at least in a mental/psychological sense.  Still do.

Edited by blah whatever
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If you lived in America I would go out with you Cupcake girl,im a homebody to and it aggravates me that everything I want to  do is expensive or know one does it I was on meet up .com and I joined this group to go see tomorrow land on Friday but it was an 1/half drive away and it cost 20 dollars for a ticket,that is just ridiculous to pay to go meet people,I wish there were more things locally that didn't,t revolve around drinking dancing and karoke,I adore anti social women though,I remember there was this girl in my class who was just like me she was straight forward did like to make that much small talk,was a loner thought different from people,dressed differently from the other women there.We had so much fun in our lab she defiantly like me she was stroking me on the shoulder during class,but she was engaged already,she was just my type but the women I like are always taken.I am attracted to smart indepdent women that think outside the box,I sent my college professor that was single a facebook request after seeing her dating profile,and she had exactly all the chratertiscs I was looking for in a partner,but I could tell she was very shy she was young about 26.I haven't really met any women that aren,t in relationships already and meet what im looking for in a partner,it seems like the type of women im interested is rare.

Edited by scienceguy
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Yes and no... and no and yes.

 

I've called myself RatBoy for over twenty years now.  The imdb recap of the 1986 movie:  Several shady and shallow people try to profit, one after the other, from a physically deformed teenager whose face looks like a snout of a rodent and who lives in a city garbage dump, alone and miserable.

 

5h1tty movie.  But I feel like that character.  Not an integral part of anyone's life, scurrying about looking for crumbs of affection and friendship where I can, then scurrying back to my hole.

 

I CAN be social and engaging, but the things I like are... different.  I don't care for reality TV.  Politics aren't relevant to the average people anymore.  Small talk is like fingernails on a chalkboard.  Sometimes the sound of multiple voices in a room becomes nauseating.

 

I have some friends that I can talk to and relate to well, but mostly I feel like an alien on planet Earth.

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yeah

people have always told me this

i have always assumed/felt this about myself  in a comfortable way

was this way before the depression/anxiety but this fact only adds to the perception/reality

 

I can relate to this. While I've had depression and anxiety for a long time, the "feeling different" isn't related to feeling different BECAUSE I have depression/anxiety that many either don't have or openly talk about. Instead, it's a neutral/okay thing that only becomes extremely isolating when I am depressed and everything about myself gets colored dark.

 

- Christina

 

Edit Note: Come to think of it, I do feel different because of the anxiety and inability to feel true happiness a lot of the time, but I think that is separate for me.

Edited by neurotic_lady89
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I CAN be social and engaging, but the things I like are... different.  I don't care for reality TV.  Politics aren't relevant to the average people anymore.  Small talk is like fingernails on a chalkboard.  Sometimes the sound of multiple voices in a room becomes nauseating.

 

I have some friends that I can talk to and relate to well, but mostly I feel like an alien on planet Earth.

 

 THIS - so much "this", especially the ability to be social/engaging but really disliking small talk (even if you can successfully pull it off, it's like sticking your hand on a hot burner). Other things I notice are that:

 

- There definitely ARE deep-thinkers in the world, but I wouldn't say the average Joe/Jane is one. Since I spend a lot of time in my head and think deeply about things, both during depression and outside of it, I can't comprehend being any different.

 

- A lot of people seem very selfish and mean to each other - not everyone, but too many people for my liking. I don't mean the normal "selfish" that is required of being human and looking out for yourself, I mean the type of selfish where you honestly don't give a crap about anyone else most of the time. I feel very empathetic a lot of the time, and it disturbs me to be around people who disrespect others and act like highschool kids well into adulthood.

 

- Christina

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Unfortunately, I've had a few friendships that sound like your last couple of sentences and when you give 110% to that friendship it's hurtful when a text isn't returned for a month or they say they'll call you back and 6 weeks you're waiting for that call still. But when they need something you are there in a nanosecond pouring your heart and soul into their needs.  It took me a long time to realize that that friend wasn't much of a friend but a really selfish human being and had no regard for others. Sadly, there's a lot of people like that in this world.

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 Even when I'm not a completely depressed mess, often I feel like there is something inherently different about me (different from a lot of people - I notice it less here around other depressed people, interestingly) - that I "think" differently and do not quite fit anywhere. Though it can make things tough, I am not saying that means something is wrong with me or that I hate it, only that I feel different. I could expand on this, but I feel like leaving it vague is good so anyone who has had a similar feeling can chime in. I wonder if it is related to depression, even when not depressed.

 

- Christina

 

Certain depressed people do indeed "think" differently, so they pretty much are indeed different from most people. I am referring to existentialist depression, which is something I have. When I was younger, I was deemed to be a "highly gifted" student, with an IQ over 148. As such, I was placed in specialized classes, and that, by its very nature, made me different from "most people," and made it harder for me to fit in with "regular people" that didn't understand my kind of "special needs," so to speak. Since I was in classes with people like me, I was mostly oblivious as to the way people thought of us, until I started meeting people from other classes. The program I was in was considered "elitist," as if we were these snobby people that thought we were above everyone else because we were smarter.

 

The stereotypes didn't matter to me to the extent that I wasn't treated any differently. But without a doubt, people like me were different. For instance, I was fascinated by subjects such as religion, philosophy, where we came from, where we're going, and why we're even here. I spent a lot of time thinking about subjects like abortion, euthanasia, and other matters of life and death. When does life begin? When does it end? Why does it even exist? Is Earth the only place where it exists? Why or why not? If God exists, am I doomed to an eternity of misery and woe? If not, does life have any inherent value, or is it all coincidence?

 

These are not things that people think extensively about. But in my case, I thought about these things from a very young age, and still do to this day. It's difficult to find someone who thinks about the same things and can therefore relate, so usually I am stuck, even trapped, with my own thoughts. Generally I conclude that life is inherently meaningless, which answers a lot, but is a terribly depressing way to think. I found some comfort when I learned that some of my old classmates happened to think about the same things as I. So I'm not alone. But I am definitely different than "most people."

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Yes. On many levels in many ways but fundamentally as an almost inner state and not dependent on outside factors (my latest theory). Even when outside people would see me as belonging and not being separate I feel separate. I have never felt I belong or am the same as others anywhere. I sometimes wonder if it is partly a coping mechanism for me learned early. I think I always notice the differences. 

 

Some aspects of it are comfortable and others I think are not helpful to my life. I wonder if some of it is related to trust.

 

On a more outside and practical level I am different. I constantly feel out of line with those around me and the unkindness and cruelty I see around me leaves me sad but feeling like I will never understand the world. Yes I understand it intellectually on many levels but I dont understand it on a feeling level. It offends me. Many aspects of being human offend me. I often don't really feel human in both a negative and neutral sense. 

 

I am a bit quirky. I don;t really do small talk. I am overly perceptive and people realise that. Some like it and maybe others dont. I am comfortable with this aspect of things and not self conscious about it. Now.  I dont go out of my way to hide and am able to have the social skills to keep in mind time and place and what is appropriate. I am different though. 

 

I'm also depersonalised a lot of the time, my whole life,  and Ive realised that leaves me feeling other worldly and not real. Time isnt real either and is constantly distorted and so my life and experiences are distorted leaving me feeling even more apart from everything. Even alien to myself. 

 

Then we probably come to emotional scars along the lines that ratboy mentions where one has old indoctrinated messages of being this or that and feeling outside of being human in some way. I think particularly not being accepted by ones parents emotionally or being told negative things leaves that map in ones head permanently of where we fit into the world. Brainwashed as not fitting means we dont fit when it comes to what our brain sees,  

 

Lastly I think part of this is from almost never speaking to people for so much of my life. As a result my internal life isnt as coordinated with others as is probably usual. I have unconventional thinking patterns about things. 

Edited by Fizzle
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No.

When i was younger i used to think I was somewhat special and unique. I was in advanced classes, I did creative projects, I was pretty certain that my life and career would unfold in cool, special, and unexpected ways since that is how it had been going since i was very little.

Nowadays i feel more average than special. I have learned, for example, that there are masses of highly intelligent, creative, and determined people all aroumd the world. And a lot of them are just better than me in almost every aspect.

When i am in public nowadays, I often discover through conversation that people around me are thinking and feeling the same things as me. And they respond in very similar ways. So i know that my daily experiences and how i typically react, must be pretty common.

More and more i see that my experiences are pretty universal. Millions of people are on my medications. Millions of people share similar political or religious or social views. There are plenty of other people who do almost exactly the same kind of work that i do, even though it is by no means a "typical" job. Tons of people like or dislike the same movies or music as me.

It has actually gotten to the point where I can tell that if a news story interests me, I know that probably most other people will also be interested in that story, since we all are thinking the same thing, so pretty soon it will be a "most read" story. If i see a new forum thread asking a question, i pretty much know how others will respond based on what my initial reaction is.

So i guess you might say that I can see the herd mentality and I often see that I am also part of the herd.

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 Even when I'm not a completely depressed mess, often I feel like there is something inherently different about me (different from a lot of people - I notice it less here around other depressed people, interestingly) - that I "think" differently and do not quite fit anywhere. Though it can make things tough, I am not saying that means something is wrong with me or that I hate it, only that I feel different. I could expand on this, but I feel like leaving it vague is good so anyone who has had a similar feeling can chime in. I wonder if it is related to depression, even when not depressed.

 

- Christina

 

Certain depressed people do indeed "think" differently, so they pretty much are indeed different from most people. I am referring to existentialist depression, which is something I have. When I was younger, I was deemed to be a "highly gifted" student, with an IQ over 148. As such, I was placed in specialized classes, and that, by its very nature, made me different from "most people," and made it harder for me to fit in with "regular people" that didn't understand my kind of "special needs," so to speak. Since I was in classes with people like me, I was mostly oblivious as to the way people thought of us, until I started meeting people from other classes. The program I was in was considered "elitist," as if we were these snobby people that thought we were above everyone else because we were smarter.

 

The stereotypes didn't matter to me to the extent that I wasn't treated any differently. But without a doubt, people like me were different. For instance, I was fascinated by subjects such as religion, philosophy, where we came from, where we're going, and why we're even here. I spent a lot of time thinking about subjects like abortion, euthanasia, and other matters of life and death. When does life begin? When does it end? Why does it even exist? Is Earth the only place where it exists? Why or why not? If God exists, am I doomed to an eternity of misery and woe? If not, does life have any inherent value, or is it all coincidence?

 

These are not things that people think extensively about. But in my case, I thought about these things from a very young age, and still do to this day. It's difficult to find someone who thinks about the same things and can therefore relate, so usually I am stuck, even trapped, with my own thoughts. Generally I conclude that life is inherently meaningless, which answers a lot, but is a terribly depressing way to think. I found some comfort when I learned that some of my old classmates happened to think about the same things as I. So I'm not alone. But I am definitely different than "most people."

 

 

 Luis, those subjects always interested me too and I thought very deeply from a young age. Since I've never been anyone other than myself, I am unsure what is more common or less common for a small kid to think about. I remember being maybe 4 years old and sitting in the car outside of a shopping plaza; I started thinking about death, mostly trying to wrap my mind around how you could be mentally here/"conscious" one minute and then not the next. Of course I didn't have any understanding of the brain at all at that age, but I could understand the body dying, and wondered what happened to our consciousness/mental presence/"soul" after death. I wasn't raised in a religious household.

 

 Later on, like you, I grew really interested in different religions/belief systems, philosophy, and moral/ethical issues - still young but much older than 4 (12-ish for the religion, 14 for philosophy). I think it's kind of strange that I don't have existential depression since I have major issues with depression and feel that life has no inherent meaning. I guess for me, very personally, no inherent meaning didn't mean no meaning whatsoever. I think Sartre said "existence precedes essence" and I feel we create the meaning in our lives. I don't claim to be right, that is just the feeling I get. My mind could construe that to be depressing if I thought too much about it, but most of the time I am okay with feeling responsible for my life's meaning which is again, not inherent.

 

 Thanks a lot for sharing. Too bad DF isn't a giant coffee house, because I think you would be great to talk to! (Well, that and I'll use any excuse for coffee).

 

 Actually, thank EVERYBODY for sharing. I'll reply more in depth to everyone tomorrow.

 

- Christina

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Neurtoic lady I thought the same things growing up I remember being 7 and I was in thee shower and I realized how insignificant people when you think about how big the universe is,when I was around 15 I started reading philosophy books,I used to go to a therapist for my adhd and I told her I was upset because people would get mad at me for question religious beliefs and existenal questions then she gave me this huge book of world philosophy at  15 I was obessed with understanding life,I read, Socrates,the republic, David hume,Kant,Marx, buddists texts,hindu philosophy,richard dawkins,lots of nietsche,jean paul satre,kierkengard.that book permentlety changed how I think and reading all those books along with contemplating in isolation the point of everything or how to be a good person brought me to complete nihilism,I became obessed by nietsche work,I would read beyond good and evil,and thus spoke the zathura  obsessively like it was a religion.

 

In my personal opionion,Buddhism makes a lot of sense compared to the other philosophies in life and the tao,have you ever seen alan watts he was a man that studied philosophy and he has a series of fantastic lectures,he summarizes everything I feel in life,if you ever want to read a great book that explains who we are you should read the taboo against knowing who you are.

 

There is no self everyone is just part of the universe trying to become aware of its self people are not just there bodies but they are the enviorment they are born into,life and death is the same thing.We all come from the earth we grow out of it like a apple grows out of a tree.After researching philosophy for years this is the only thing that makes sense to me everything is one and nothing exists  independent  of anything else.We try to cling on words to explain things,but words can not capture and define life because life is never the same.

 

Look, and it can't be seen.
Listen, and it can't be heard.
Reach, and it can't be grasped.

Above, it isn't bright.
Below, it isn't dark.
Seamless, unnamable,
it returns to the realm of nothing.
Form that includes all forms,
image without an image,
subtle, beyond all conception.

Approach it and there is no beginning;
follow it and there is no end.
You can't know it, but you can be it,
at ease in your own life.
Just realize where you come from:
this is the essence of wisdom.

Edited by scienceguy
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I feel very different almost like I'm invisible and unoticed and that no one understands who I really am. I feel my persona on the internet is much bigger than in real life. The internet in alot of ways is my alter ego. That person who is the better version of myself. I'm a biracial person mixed black white with a swedish sounding last name. I have been told I look like I'm Italian. This can be a cause of great strife for me because I just want to be accepted for who I am. Not what others make up for me. I'm thankful for this website and hope to become a productive member.

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I feel very different almost like I'm invisible and unoticed and that no one understands who I really am. I feel my persona on the internet is much bigger than in real life. The internet in alot of ways is my alter ego. That person who is the better version of myself. I'm a biracial person mixed black white with a swedish sounding last name. I have been told I look like I'm Italian. This can be a cause of great strife for me because I just want to be accepted for who I am. Not what others make up for me. I'm thankful for this website and hope to become a productive member.

 

It seems like Italian is people's go-to ethnicity guess when they can't figure out "what" you are. I am Irish, Portuguese, and Middle Eastern and get "Are you Italian?" at least a few times every year. If people can't accept you for being biracial, that is a very sick thing IMO, and those people aren't worth having in your life.

 

- Christina

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In my profile on here, I expressed that I am an INTJ.  I've always been rather obscure in society and tend to find myself feeling like I'm from some other planet.  I use to think there was something wrong with me until I understood my inherent personality type.  I even messed around with primal zodiac and came up with an Emperor Tamarin; which, interestingly enough, is virtually identical to an INTJ in it's description.  Naturally, I can't stand people; I don't want to be around them if I can help it.  But, I can't survive in this world by being a hermit either; so, I had to adapt to social norms.  When I was young, I came to a realization that the only way I could possibly make a life for myself was to break out of the shell I was hiding in; inevitably annihilating the anti-social person that I grew up as.  I joined the military when I was young and they immediately obliterated my social anxiety.  I still hated being around people; but, I gradually learned ways to cope with the radical changes.

I once went to an INTJ forum to see what others were like and it quickly became clear to me that being optimistic and idealistic were not a common thing to be found there.  I suppose feeling like you have no one to compare yourself to would make you feel somewhat lonely; but, it also brings to light my own uniqueness.  People don't usually understand how bad it makes me feel to be given a compliment; but, I understand a large part of the reason for me feeling that way is due to my personality.  I am by default my own worst critic and can be rather harsh about it at times; not, because I am self loathing; but, because I have surreal expectations for myself and if I don't feel like I am what others perceive me to be, it hurts me a little.  For instance, when I was studying history in college, one of my professors stood up in front of the class one day and went on and on about this paper that I wrote, regarding how ethics have changed over time.  She just praised me, calling me an genius for about an hour and when it was done, I was ready to go outside and bury myself in a hole somewhere.  It was the most brutal barrage of positive feedback I ever had and every moment of it was like being punched in the stomach over and over.

Since then, I have learned to take it with far more humility; but, I still feel a little uncomfortable sometimes.  I was in a relationship with a woman, who made quite a name for herself in Hollywood; well, she became obsessed with me very quickly.  For months on end she wanted nothing more than to pick at my brain and talk about me.  This woman had thousands of people yearning for her affections daily and all she wanted was to focus her undivided attention on me.  It was every INTJ's wet fantasy; but, I couldn't handle it.  Again, I was slapped upon a mighty pedestal and I knew I didn't deserve to be there.  As overwhelmed as I felt in that relationship, she helped me come to terms with a lot of my internal problems.  Where I original saw flaws; she saw something that mesmerized her.  It just baffled me, that someone so beautiful was so infatuated with who I was.  When I realized that I didn't have to push myself so hard to find satisfactory, I shed many of my protective layers.  Since then, I have become far more outgoing; but, I can sense when I meet people, that I have a little bit of insecurity holding me back.  I suppose we will always be a work in progress, as we continue to build a better foundation in our life.

It isn't a bad thing to feel like you don't fit in everywhere; because, somewhere out there, the only person that matters, is waiting to fall in love with our strange minds.

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 Even when I'm not a completely depressed mess, often I feel like there is something inherently different about me (different from a lot of people - I notice it less here around other depressed people, interestingly) - that I "think" differently and do not quite fit anywhere. Though it can make things tough, I am not saying that means something is wrong with me or that I hate it, only that I feel different. I could expand on this, but I feel like leaving it vague is good so anyone who has had a similar feeling can chime in. I wonder if it is related to depression, even when not depressed.

 

- Christina

 

I've always seen myself as different and on another realm. I don't know if its because I live in my head so much or if its because my life experiences have been so vastly different from other people I know. I also feel depression does have a factor in it, at least for me. I spend so much time thinking about things and analyzing them that it cant help but have an impact on how I see the world.

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