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helter skelter

Realizing I'll Never Be Able To Own My Own Home

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In a few days I finally graduate from college and start a full-time job. It pays minimum wage. I'm almost 28 and quite late to the whole workforce. Lately, I've been thinking about what I want out of life and thought I'd at least like to own my own house. I have no ambitions for finding a husband, having kids, etc. I have a few hobbies but I realize they are just distractions from the monotony of life, and can be quite expensive. Right now, the only way I survive is off my parents. I'm moving back in with them in a few days. But if I didn't, how could I possibly save to buy my own car, much less a house? How do people do it? With my min wage job, if I saved for 10 years (after paying rent, transportation, food, medical bills, other living costs, etc) I couldn't even put a 20% down on a small house.

This made me realize what a crappy rat race this all is. Working to save for the bare minimum and basically doing it until I retire, am old, then die. Is there really any point to life?

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I guess the answer would be not to put too much weight into material things, the economy is pretty messed up - the rich get richer while others stay poor to the point of starvation, where I live I get paid about three times less than I would get in other more modern countries for the same job I'm doing and the prices of housing, food etc. are about the same. I want to have my own house too, but I too don't know if I'll ever be able to afford it.

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Were working toward buying a home also. But also don't have a down payment. With min wage it's impossible. That doesn't mean that you give up on finding a better job. Eventually and hopefully you find one that supports your needs and wants. In the meantime work on your credit. Make sure it's the best you can do and take side jobs to help save.

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I didn't own my own home until I was 30ish. The only way we managed to own was just pure dumb luck, we happened to find a house the owner just wanted out of, so they were selling it cheap, cheap, cheap. In one way it is nice to own but on the flip side of it;  If the roof leaks, I have to come up the cash to fix it in. I have to have a mower and keep it running and mow my yard or I get a fine. If the pipes break I have to repair them and any damage. Instead of calling landlord I have to tell myself. Insurance is so expensive it makes me ill thinking about it. I think If I could go back I am not sure I would want to own, if I rent depending on the landlord they would be responsible for all of that stuff.

 

Pheonix is absolutely right, work on getting your credit as good as you can, it is amazing how much that influences everything.

 

Owning is nice in its own way, and I don't blame you for wanting to own your own place, but I don't see any shame in renting a place for the long term.

 

This sounds so mean re-reading it but I am hoping you do not take it meanly, it is meant to be supportive and I am not sure if it is coming across as that.

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Don't feel bad, homes are not affordable in many areas even if you make above the average income.  I have a job that pays relatively well and I could barely afford to buy a condo where I live.   And I have owned two other houses in the past so I have some experience with real estate.

 

I don't own right now and honestly I don't have much desire to buy.  Homes are priced too high relative to incomes so the only way you can buy is to have a huge mortgage.  Just remember that if you ever lose your income, the bank will foreclose on you so fast your head will spin, you'll lose your equity and one day the sheriff will show up at the front door with a court order to have you forcibly removed since you'll be trespassing on someone else's property.  Banks took millions of homes from people who lost their income during the recession and kicked them out into the street so don't think for a second they won't do it to you either.

 

Home ownership isn't what it once was 50 years ago, prices are sky high and job security is a thing of the past.   Renting isn't great, but at least you can move and if the economy gets bad (which it will again at some point, the economy moves in cycles) and you lose your income, you have a better chance of avoiding financial ruin.  If I never own a home again, I could care less.

Edited by blah whatever

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Buying a house is hard I also worked minium wage for about 3 years,I managed to save 90% of my income to put down on a cheap condo 90,000.I pretty much became a hermit from being so cheap in the process,what I did was never eat out,I walked to work and took the bus to college,I invested in the 401 k plan at work and the stock plan.My parents are helping me by providing the income to the house,my mortage will be about 900 a month without utilities and I am panacking that I am not gonna have my real estate licence by then.I share ownership of the house with my parents my mom is a realestate agent and my dad is a carpenter and a union worker,so I am going to live in the house and flip it once its redone then move to another place,my parents said if I have trouble paying the mortage to get a roommate or rent it out,I put down the down payment for the house ,I am happy it is so cheap because there is no way I could find a place to rent that cheap in nj,The house is pretty big for one person,and im worried about being lonely there,but I know I will have a lot more confidence to get dates then I do living in my parents basement lol.I don,t even want to talk to most women I am so embrassed,but I am sure I will look better with my own condo then some guy who is living like a manchild off his parents

 

Maybe you could try the same thing and just save every penny for a few years and try to find a condo for a bargain?

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Just take one day at a time, one moment, one second at a time. One of our main symptoms is that we overthink, and we jump the gun by thinking too quickly. For the last couple of days, my mind and the thoughts in mind, having been running like crazy, from one thought to another. I had to realize that I had some control over these thoughts. To get my mind off of them for awhile, I looked at funny tv shows, I pulled up things that would cause me to laugh on the website. I look at things like babies eating lemons for the first time. It is just too funny!!!!! 

 

Just live in the moment. You don't have to rush to know which way you are going. You don't have to keep up with everybody and or society. Just because mom or dad or others believe that you should be at a certain level and doing certain things at your age is not a decision that should be made by them. Its ok if you have to go home. Its ok, if you are not married and don't have interest in some things, Its really ok. Your biological clock is your own. In time, you will possess what you want out of life but first, work on you. Get better by loving you, believing you, and take one step at a time.

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In a few days I finally graduate from college and start a full-time job. It pays minimum wage. I'm almost 28 and quite late to the whole workforce. Lately, I've been thinking about what I want out of life and thought I'd at least like to own my own house. I have no ambitions for finding a husband, having kids, etc. I have a few hobbies but I realize they are just distractions from the monotony of life, and can be quite expensive. Right now, the only way I survive is off my parents. I'm moving back in with them in a few days. But if I didn't, how could I possibly save to buy my own car, much less a house? How do people do it? With my min wage job, if I saved for 10 years (after paying rent, transportation, food, medical bills, other living costs, etc) I couldn't even put a 20% down on a small house.

This made me realize what a crappy rat race this all is. Working to save for the bare minimum and basically doing it until I retire, am old, then die. Is there really any point to life?

Congratulations on graduating in a few days! That's a great accomplishment. It's never to late to get into the workforce. 28 is YOUNG! I have felt the way you do at times about wanting to own a home-- I think it somehow symbolizes that we've accomplished something in life but like JaLee pointed out, there are a lot of down sides to being a home owner as well.

 

Try not to let this get you down. Get some work experience behind you and start putting your resume out there, living life to the fullest is by far more of an investment than owning  your own home. (((Hugs)))

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In a few days I finally graduate from college and start a full-time job. It pays minimum wage. I'm almost 28 and quite late to the whole workforce. Lately, I've been thinking about what I want out of life and thought I'd at least like to own my own house. I have no ambitions for finding a husband, having kids, etc. I have a few hobbies but I realize they are just distractions from the monotony of life, and can be quite expensive. Right now, the only way I survive is off my parents. I'm moving back in with them in a few days. But if I didn't, how could I possibly save to buy my own car, much less a house? How do people do it? With my min wage job, if I saved for 10 years (after paying rent, transportation, food, medical bills, other living costs, etc) I couldn't even put a 20% down on a small house.

This made me realize what a crappy rat race this all is. Working to save for the bare minimum and basically doing it until I retire, am old, then die. Is there really any point to life?

I completely missed you are graduating! Congratulations!!!   :flowers:  You must be so excited, going to college must be hard but to be able to learn so much. I would love to go to school and be more educated.

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Congratulating on graduating!

 

But somehow, despite this triumph, you are mentally dooming yourself to minimum wage jobs for the rest of your life?  Really?

 

Geez, my friend - you've got years to go yet to work your way up through better and better jobs.  My ex-wife has just bought her own house - she'd be 50 this year, I believe.  Your circumstances can certainly change rapidly.

 

Umm... your last question?  I think for few people the point to life is working "to save for the bare minimum", then retire and die.  The point to life is what you do when you're NOT working.  Idle time - evenings, weekends, vacation.  Friends, family, pets, maybe finding a SO, helping others, enjoying a walk or a sunset or a TV show or a good book.  Continued learning.  Love.

 

The job is only a means to get you from one day to the next with eating, shelter, clothing.  Obviously, there are a lucky few who are able to work at something they truly enjoy - I don't know if this is also a possibility for you, or whether your degree is in something that you like and might be applicable to a career.

 

Please hang in there.  There's no harm in moving back in with the folks to regroup.

 

You're an intelligent, degreed person in 2015.  If one reasonable goal in your life is to own your own home, then you can certainly work toward that!

 

Best of luck.

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I am 43 and currently don't own a home. I have owned two, each time for about 7 years. I think we as a society out to much in to the whole notion that somehow when you buy a home you are successful which is BS. Have your own home does not mean you are successful or means your will friends think you are somehow this better person. I know to many people that make themselves house poor by buying a home. Also owning a home does not mean it is this perfect investment. Each time I sold my home I did so for more than I owed, however if you start to consider the money you spend in maintains a home you can end up with less. You know a water heater leaks and floods a room, your A/C goes out, the stove breaks. Then you make improvements, landscaping etc all are unplanned cost. I experienced all of those in the two newer homes I owned.

Now I am not saying to never own a home but do not get down on yourself for not having done so at 28. I myself realize I don't care to, I would rather live in a nice rental, not have to worry if something breaks, save money, take nice vacations and still be able to enjoy life (I can't say I always enjoy life). Just don't believe what we have been told, that "the American Dream is to own a home". No I think the dream is to live life.

Ironically I never graduated college which I get down on myself about. I admire you for that and you need to be proud of yourself.

Edited by SMC

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I rented for years before I could finally buy a home. During those years I saved every penny I could for a deposit and like scienceguy I was frugal as I could possibly be, every penny I didnt spend was more I could add to a deposit. It wasnt easy but eventually it happened. One of the main reasons I wanted to buy a house is because where I live there is a lot of infill development going on, so the homes I was renting were being put on the market repeatedly because they were on such large blocks. It sucks having strangers going through your (rental) home when it is up for sale, and is a huge inconvenience, especially when the house doesnt sell and just stays on the market. But as others have said, a house can be a bit of a money pit. something breaks down or needs repair, you have to find the money, or you learn to repair things yourself (to save money) but none of it is easy. Getting into your first home is the biggest hurdle, because hopefully over time it increases in value and you can then move on to something better or something similar and reduce your debt. I think there is a big expectation these days to have it all in your 20s, the house, the nice car etc but unless you go into huge debt or get gifted lots of money, it isnt going to happen. If you go into overwhelming debt to do it, then it's all an illusion anyway because the stress of trying to hold onto it all can get to be too much. Lots of people lost their homes in the GFC because they were so far in debt and bought houses much larger and more expensive than they even needed. It will happen eventually, but it can take a lot of scrimping and saving and doing without stuff to get there too.

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Good morning helter skelter..

First, congratulations on graduating from college.

Second, to echo what others in this thread have said, don't beat yourself up over the whole home ownership thing. Yes, a house CAN be a nice investment and offer a little more living space and/or flexibility than an apartment or a condo. But the market is fickle, and even with the 08 recession and the housing crash, most real estate is still overpriced. And owning a home can be a big headache and can suck money out of your bank account faster than a horse can trot. I have owned two homes. The first one I got lucky and was able to buy from a friend for well below market value, but it was a fixer upper and required a ton of remodeling and outdoor landscaping, which my then-wife and I did together. We were able to sell it for a pretty decent profit, but probably still only netted about 10k or so after all was said and done, which really isn't much, and it ended up paying down debt that still isn't paid off. The second home we bought at the peak of the housing bubble, I.e. we paid too much. My ex had to sell it at a big loss a few years after I moved out. So, risky investment, even now that the market has supposedly "adjusted".

Houses are a headache. Repairs, maintenance, insurance, taxes, yard upkeep, bigger utility bills. I am renting again and if something breaks and needs fixed or replaced, all I do is make a phone call. No yard maintenance, no taxes, and my renter's insurance is 8 bucks a month. Utilities are about a hundred bucks a month (that's EVERYTHING - water, gas, electric, trash, sewer, recycling). I am on a month-to-month lease, so I can pick up and move at a moments notice, more or less. Work is three blocks away, as is everything else. Sure, there are downsides to renting. Neighbors can get noisy at times, a lack of complete privacy, a smaller living space, and no big fenced in yard for dogs or kids (which may or may not be a negative). I still think the pros far outweigh the cons, though

I am not saying " never buy a home", but just realize that it isn't the be-all end-all of existence, and don't think any less of yourself just because you DON'T own..it really can be a two-edged sword.

Peace,

Tim

Edited by LonelyHiker

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