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My Weight Is Getting Me Down


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You know what, for the last 5 minutes I was trying to find a way to nicely explain the area of my weight but you know what? Let's just be honest, I'm not likely to get ridiculously shamed here. I'm 5'7, I weigh... I think about 220lbs. In legs I'm usually a (British) size 14 and I'm not that sure about t-shirts because my t-shirts are from the mens section but I'm a large typically. I usually get XL because I like baggy clothes, but L fits me fine usually. I already know I'm quite far in the obese section, I can't ignore it anymore, I've let my weight creep up steadily through my early teenage years and just went further into denial.


I cannot do it anymore. I cannot face another year of being this weight and size. I'm not even looking towards being thin or slim or anything, I'm just looking to get my weight down and far away from obese.


I'm looking to be physically fit, being able to actually run a couple miles rather than just jog a few. Be able to carry heavy things (required for my college course) and not struggle so much. 


Over the last few months I've tried doing the odd thing to make my diet less bad. I've started replacing things like coca cola with other fizzy, non sugar drinks or sparkling water. Stopped drinking juices that are loaded with sugar so often. Used less sugar in my coffees and even stopped drinking that more than a couple times a week. I actually need to start doing intense exercise to lose weight and I actively need to eat regularly and better food.


The strangest thing is that I'm actually scared by this. I'm scared of trying and giving up, and scared of doing it alone, silly isn't it. I don't have any money to join groups though I'm lucky to have a gym room in the house I live in. I just wish I wasn't doing this alone, it's harder doing it without a laugh or without somebody with you to help motivate you a little. I really need to lose weight I cannot live another year like this. Any advice about anything including weight loss would be most appreciated.


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I applaud you on the effort to be more fit.


The lifestyle change is hard and requires real commitment.  But after a month or so, you'll form new habits.  Bad days will happen, but that's fine, too.  We're human.


Another forum I belong to has a weight-loss thread.  The various members that are trying to lose weight check in periodically with their new weights, and occasionally include efforts and tips.  Don't know if that will work here or not... it also requires someone to keep track in a table or something.


Again, I applaud you - you're by no means alone here.  I'm trying to go through a transformation - I'm not losing weight right now, but trying to rehab my left leg (arthritis, gout) and add muscle elsewhere.  I'd rather lose size than weight right now.  Maybe once I've built my stamina and overall fitness up, then lose about thirty or forty pounds.  Right now I'm in a good place - going to the gym thrice weekly, and adding resistance and weights and spending more time there.  On off days, I walk a little and have some dumbbells at home here that I work with some.


You say you've got a gym room where you work - spending time there sounds good.  Walk, jog, whatever.  Park in the farthest available space.  More water.  And there are TONS of fitness motivational sites on the web.


Best of luck - check in - I'm very interested in your progress!

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I can definitely relate. I've struggled with my weight my entire life. I've been doing the herbalife thing. I've lost 20 pounds so far. I have a long ways to go. But even after losing just a few pounds....I feel so much better. I think exercise is very therapeutic also. I know it's easy for me to say....but once you start out (just doing something small like walking 10 minutes a day) it's amazing how much better you feel...and you'll feel better about yourself too.

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Hi Lucerne, Amongst the great posts, RatBoy picks up on the internet based 'clubs'. I know quite a few people who've followed that route and it's fun.


You could also get a Fit Bit which downloads to a tablet and you can check out your progress etc.


There was a TV show in the past couple of months where they found two people with opposing views on life (in some area or other), and they each pledged an amount of money to donate to their 'opponent's' hobby - which they would hate to do - if they did not lose as much weight as the other. They had to promise to eat a certain (healthy) number of calories per day, and their weight loss was a combination of reduced calorie intake and exercise.


I think that weight loss/gain is often influenced by snacking. That's where the hard work gets undone. Worth thinking about.

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Hi, I'm in the same boat as you.  The different meds I've been on over the years have made me gain a lot of weight.  But I'm trying to lose it now.  I started by cutting out my latte's, now I only have two a week.  Then I cut out soda completely.  I drink water instead.  Then I joined Weight Watchers online, I know you said you can't afford to join something like that right now but there are a lot of free things out there.  I've been on Weight Watchers for 3 weeks now and have lost 14 pounds so far (a lot of it was water weight).  


Feel free to message me if you want.


Good luck.



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I lost around 50 pounds over the last 9 months. What you need to do is 1) start exercising and 2) start eating healthier. Both are equally important. If you eat right but do not exercise, then you will not lose nearly as much weight as if you also exercised, and if you exercise but eat a lot of bad foods then you will not lose nearly as much as you would if you had eaten healthier. I lost those 50 pounds without thinking too much about it to be honest with you. I was (and still am) in so much emotional pain that the exercise I was doing was obviously for my weight, but mostly it was for my mental health, so I kind of just dropped it while working on my mental health.


Anyway, what you need to do - and that is the hardest part - is to be very disciplined about your exercising and eating habits. Depression makes this even harder. But what I mean is that you need to tell yourself that you will exercise on this and this day, and you will not eat unhealthy foods from monday to thursday or whatever your plan might be. I find that if I do not do this, then I will find myself eating something unhealthy on, say, a tuesday. And then everything is off limits. I will start eating unhealthy foods every day like I used to, and then I do not see any results. Same with exercise. If you skip a day of exercise, you might find it easier to skip the next day too. And the next one as well. So, my suggestion to you is:


1) Start exercising 2 days a week with some light cardio or something. Lifting weights is really good for losing fat though, because you want to replace the fat that you are losing with muscle, so you do not get loose skin.

2) Cut away some of the junk food/snacks/carbs that you are eating. For dinner, instead of eating meat, potatoes and some salad, try to stay away from the potatoes and eat more salad and a tad more meat. If you can stick to a diet without carbs, I promise you, you will lose weight quite rapidly. The better you are staying away from carbs, the faster you will lose weight.


I hope I could help. It helped me. And do not be too hard on yourself. If you eat a snack here and then, do not think ill of yourself for it. Battling depression while trying to lose weight is hard.

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We all know what we *should* do ... it's the doing it that's so hard.  I've been meeting with a group weekly for nearly 3 years, but haven't really lost any weight because I can't follow the *should*.  For a few months I was walking 30 minutes almost daily and it was going all right (I had lost about 12 pounds).  i was using a treadmill and reading while I walked, which is more enjoyable to me than watching TV.  Then I hurt my foot somehow and had to stop, and although I've tried a few times to start back up, the motivation is missing.  Everyone tells me that exercise will help lift the depression also, but I have never found that to be true for me.  Exercise makes me more tired, not rejuvenated.  Depression sucks the energy out of me, and I get home from work every day (which is a desk job, not a whole lot of energy being used there) mentally drained.  I spend the weekends recuperating (meaning doing as little as possible).


I started  reading "Eat what you love, Love what you eat for Binge Eating" last night.  It sounds like the first bit will be discussing Mindfulness, which I believe is a technique used in DBT.  So maybe it will help with both problems.  I know my binge eating is related to my feelings -- I eat to numb and block the feelings.  Yesterday I was feeling really depressed and just wanted to eat donuts and chocolate, neither of which I have in the house.  But instead of going out to get some (that seems like the only thing mild agoraphobia is good for, ha!) I recognized why I wanted it -- our weight loss pledge includes "I will control my emotions and not let my emotions control me" -- and I sat and really thought about what that means.  I went on the internet and that's where I found the book mentioned above.  


I have some hope for it, since dieting (restrictive eating) and grazing (instinctive eating) haven't worked in the past.  It really irks me when the advice I get from doctors and non-problem-eaters is that I just need to make healthier choices.  No kidding.  If it were that easy, don't you think I'd've done it by now?


I totally know what you mean about being scared of trying and failing -- that's a big thing for me too.  I also tend to start self-sabotaging whenever I lose more than about 4-5 pounds. I'm hoping you find what you need to get to where you want to go.  I definitely hope you can find a buddy, because I think that will help with the motivation and the discipline.  Best of luck!

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