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JaLee

What Grosses You Out?

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The smell...after it rains...and the sun is shining...and my neighbors haven't picked the poop up that their multiple large dogs have left behind.  I open my sliding glass door, and the smell hits me in the face...like I've walked into a wall of wet, hot ****.  It's really bad.

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So many things that I can't read anyone else's responses or I might make myself sick.

Specifically I'm thinking about how gross it is when I try to brush or floss and sometimes I start to gag and even start to throw up a little. It's the WORST.

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The creature in the mirror that has replaced me, especially after a shower with no clothes. Last time I almost called animal control and the police.

People keep telling me the best way to get rid of it is to go to the gym but none of the hot guys there will trade bodies or swap brains with me so I am f**ked.

I even followed one muscleheads advice and bought these contraptions to set up in my house. So far they haven't caught the beast. I even put a slice of cheese on the weights of this useless trap. Maybe if I smear the bench with peanut butter....... I put the Bowflex in front of the bathroom door and rigged it so that the arms will snap from the wall and hit the creature when it leaves the bathroom and hits the tripwire at night. I accidentally triggered the mechanism last night and now have a broken collar bone but the creature must have triggered it too because it is also wounded. It must have re-set the trap to get revenge.

The bike trap thingy is the most curious. Maybe the strange noise coming from the wheel when I ride it is at a frequency that scares this hideous beast away?

The guy at the gym who has muscles even on his eyelids says rat poison won't work so I guess I'll try a flamethrower.

 

UPDATE!!!

Soooooo.... the flamethrower only ruined the mirror and half the bathroom but the creature remains unscathed. This f**ker is invincible. Guess I'll just have to live with it for now. I won't give up though. Just need to do more science. I have to do something soon, the gross creature that I have named             Frostus-Pyropithicus is getting bold and has even started to show up on my TV screen when it goes all black. I dropped my bowl of Ice cream with bacon sprinkles I was so startled. THIS MEANS WOARE!!!!!!! The neighbors are knocking on the door because of the smoke, maybe I can recruit them and have my own army to help defeat this creature. Will keep you all updated.

 

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Spiders or any bug that is known to potentially do harm to the human body. But that is only when they actually get onto me, otherwise I'm cool with them flying, walking or running around me.

Twisting human parts, don't know why but there is always this grotesque fear of twisting body parts. I suppose I have countless horror movies to thank for that lol.

My own imagination when I'm asleep. To clarify, I mean that when I experience lucid nightmares. Those just feel so damn real and I always walk up with my muscles all tensed up in a sweat. The muscle tension would only add to the powerlessness within the nightmare itself. I have had some lucid nightmares that I can still remember to this day as clear as the blue sky.

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I saw a guy in a deli wearing gloves like he is supposed to but then he rubbed his eye (with glove still on) and then proceeded to fix peoples food without changing his gloves. It made my stomach flip flop.

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On 9/6/2016 at 2:01 PM, ColdFire said:

The creature in the mirror that has replaced me, especially after a shower with no clothes. Last time I almost called animal control and the police.

People keep telling me the best way to get rid of it is to go to the gym but none of the hot guys there will trade bodies or swap brains with me so I am f**ked.

I even followed one muscleheads advice and bought these contraptions to set up in my house. So far they haven't caught the beast. I even put a slice of cheese on the weights of this useless trap. Maybe if I smear the bench with peanut butter....... I put the Bowflex in front of the bathroom door and rigged it so that the arms will snap from the wall and hit the creature when it leaves the bathroom and hits the tripwire at night. I accidentally triggered the mechanism last night and now have a broken collar bone but the creature must have triggered it too because it is also wounded. It must have re-set the trap to get revenge.

The bike trap thingy is the most curious. Maybe the strange noise coming from the wheel when I ride it is at a frequency that scares this hideous beast away?

The guy at the gym who has muscles even on his eyelids says rat poison won't work so I guess I'll try a flamethrower.

 

UPDATE!!!

Soooooo.... the flamethrower only ruined the mirror and half the bathroom but the creature remains unscathed. This f**ker is invincible. Guess I'll just have to live with it for now. I won't give up though. Just need to do more science. I have to do something soon, the gross creature that I have named             Frostus-Pyropithicus is getting bold and has even started to show up on my TV screen when it goes all black. I dropped my bowl of Ice cream with bacon sprinkles I was so startled. THIS MEANS WOARE!!!!!!! The neighbors are knocking on the door because of the smoke, maybe I can recruit them and have my own army to help defeat this creature. Will keep you all updated.

 

Now THAT is a post!

I have a similar creature lurking in my apartment.

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There's one cheese that shows up a lot in Italian dishes, like lasagna. I couldn't tell you which one, only that it literally sickens me. To me, it tastes like vomit. It ruins any Italian dish it's in. Does anyone know which one I'm talking about?

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17 hours ago, evalynn said:

There's one cheese that shows up a lot in Italian dishes, like lasagna. I couldn't tell you which one, only that it literally sickens me. To me, it tastes like vomit. It ruins any Italian dish it's in. Does anyone know which one I'm talking about?

Is it feta cheese? 

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On 9/6/2016 at 2:01 PM, ColdFire said:

The creature in the mirror that has replaced me, especially after a shower with no clothes. Last time I almost called animal control and the police.

People keep telling me the best way to get rid of it is to go to the gym but none of the hot guys there will trade bodies or swap brains with me so I am f**ked.

I even followed one muscleheads advice and bought these contraptions to set up in my house. So far they haven't caught the beast. I even put a slice of cheese on the weights of this useless trap. Maybe if I smear the bench with peanut butter....... I put the Bowflex in front of the bathroom door and rigged it so that the arms will snap from the wall and hit the creature when it leaves the bathroom and hits the tripwire at night. I accidentally triggered the mechanism last night and now have a broken collar bone but the creature must have triggered it too because it is also wounded. It must have re-set the trap to get revenge.

The bike trap thingy is the most curious. Maybe the strange noise coming from the wheel when I ride it is at a frequency that scares this hideous beast away?

The guy at the gym who has muscles even on his eyelids says rat poison won't work so I guess I'll try a flamethrower.

 

UPDATE!!!

Soooooo.... the flamethrower only ruined the mirror and half the bathroom but the creature remains unscathed. This f**ker is invincible. Guess I'll just have to live with it for now. I won't give up though. Just need to do more science. I have to do something soon, the gross creature that I have named             Frostus-Pyropithicus is getting bold and has even started to show up on my TV screen when it goes all black. I dropped my bowl of Ice cream with bacon sprinkles I was so startled. THIS MEANS WOARE!!!!!!! The neighbors are knocking on the door because of the smoke, maybe I can recruit them and have my own army to help defeat this creature. Will keep you all updated.

 

Yeah. I really think there should be some sort of forum award for this post. Epic.

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