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Hairline Makes Me Want To Commit Suicide. I Feel Worthless.


forumdude

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I'm 20 and my hairline has slightly receded. I'll show someone pictures if needed, because I literally can't tell if it is horrendously bad or not. It has become my obsession. In the last year, I have probably taken at least 2,000 pictures of my hairline. Sometimes a hundred a day. The dermatologist had to let me finish accutane before I started talking about treatment. I am using a steroid for my scalp, and if that doesn't work I am going back and she says I can take finasteride, finally. My problem is that I'm falling for a guy. I'm a 20 year old male and we are perfect for each other, but I feel like I am hiding a secret. I am a pretty attractive person, and I feel like most of my flaws aren't that bad, but I'm afraid that if he saw it he would find my ugly and awful. It is only really noticeable with short hair. My hair is still very thick and I have no balding in the back. The one thing that killed me was when the lady cut my hair too short a few weeks ago and my friend commented that it looked kinda like I had a bald spot on one small part on my side. That made me feel worse than anything. I feel like I should stop talking to the guy I am talking to because of my flaw. I am going to see him tomorrow and he makes me more happy than anything. But he did say a long time ago maybe jokingly that he didn't like bald people. And that he doesn't ever want to go bald (we were talking about how awful it will be when we reach 80.) I don't know what to do. Just when I recored from my biggest flaw (awful acne), now I discover this. I feel like my depression has literally skewed my perception of reality. I can't tell how bad my flaws are. Every picture of me looks different to me. I want to cry. I mean, I have a lot before. I don't want to keep up like this. I don't think I deserve him and I don't know how he would feel. But we are falling really hard for each other and it is making me miserable.

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But he did say a long time ago maybe jokingly that he didn't like bald people. And that he doesn't ever want to go bald (we were talking about how awful it will be when we reach 80.)

You are both perfect for each other don't you see, he has the same fear as you. I highly suspect you are fretting more over whether or not you are loveable than about your hairline. You picked up on the comment about the hair and see it as a judgment on you when it is just a body. You are way more than your body and how it looks. If someone doesn't love you because your hairline is receding or gone then they are not worthy of your love. You deserve much better than that. So put the camera down. Throw it out if you have to. You need to break the habit of looking at your hair and address how you feel about you. My boyfriend's hair is thinning and he didn't have thick hair to begin with and on top of that he doesn't have the nicest head but there is no way I would ever leave him if he winds up losing all of it. Love just doesn't work that way. Start focusing on your positive traits and put away the negative. You deserve love. Allow it into your life. Best of luck with the relationship.

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