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My Autistic Brother Is Ruining My Life


GoldenOne

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I am so embarassed of my older autistic brother. It gets to the point where I get suicidal because of it.

Every time I see him, which is around once a week, I get extremely suicidal no matter what happens. I feel like he is ruining my life, not because he wants to, but just because he's different. He does and says things that others wouldn't do or say in front of others, and it embarasses me so much. I feel like I will never be able to have a girlfriend, friends come over to visit my family, even going to the movies with him is really exhausting for me and fills me with anxiety, because I am so afraid of running into people I know with my brother, or perhaps he might say or do something in public that will embarass me.

Yesterday evening I was sitting in the livingroom with my mother and brother, when my brother starts picking his nose. It made me feel so awful inside that I seriously considered ending my life. I still feel that way today. It makes me feel so hopeless that I feel like I can't even relate to the darkest songs about hopelessness. I feel like having a brother with autism who might pick his nose or fart or laugh out loud or do something else that could embarass me in front of others forces me to live isolated, because I can't let anyone close to me, because then they'd have to see him.

On one side I feel bad for feeling this way, but on the other side I truly feel like he is ruining my life, which makes me feel hatred and disgust towards him. I know this is not alright, since he's not doing any of this to intentionally make me feel this way, but I can't shake this feeling. I just can't, I've tried with psychotherapy for a year now (I'm 21 and my brother is 25).

It just gets to the point where I feel like I might as well end my life, because this will always be a thorn in my side. He will always be an embarassment to me, and there's nothing I can do about it.

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Firstly, and I'm sure that this is me being Captain Obvious, you need to remind yourself that your brother cannot control being autistic. Instead of finding him embarrassing, it may be more useful to attempt to understand that he has difficulties in communicating with others and that there are people out there who may have autistic siblings or family members themselves, or can at least sympathise with your position.

Without wanting to sound rude, you're his brother, and you're meant to be offering him support. He may fart and pick his nose and do other things that make you uncomfortable, but so do plenty of other people without this condition. It feels as though you're using his autism as a reason for wanting to end your life rather than taking a step back and trying to welcome him into your life a little more.

The more you push him away, the more likely you'll continue to feel hatred towards him. I feel similarly about my granddad at times, but I love him and try to relate to him whenever I can. If he is doing something that makes me uncomfortable, like sucking the food out of his false teeth, I'll simply occupy myself with something else.

You're keeping your brother at the forefront of your mind and not focusing on yourself and your own needs. For you to feel suicidal because you're embarrassed of your autistic brother is, for me, excessive, but different people react differently to the situations. It isn't your brother that needs to make a change, simply because he may lack the capacity to, but you can. There is a point of which we need to draw the line and see what we're getting uptight over necessarily, and what we're getting uptight over for absolutely no good reason at all.

Edited by Lady Slothbottom
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Golden one,

My cousin Jay is autistic. He is in his mid 50's. He can be embarrassing at times. He rocks and taps thing, doesn't communicate very much. When he does talk it is in monotone. My siblings and cousins accept him for who he is. For your suicial thoughts, you should see a doctor. You should explain to your friends what is wrong with your brother. If they are friends they will understand.

As for picking his nose, a lot of people do this. Just look at people driving on the highway, you will see people picking. Heck, I have been known to pick. My husband just looks at me.

I think as you get older, you will be more understanding.

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I first of all applaud you for being brutally honest. If we ever hope to get past the issues that drag us down we first need to be honest. That was a brave thing for you to do. This said, If this is so effecting you to the point of becoming suicidal there is a great disconnect in how you view yourself. It seems as though you have been carrying this for a long time now, probably your whole life but it is time you separate who you are from who your brother is. He is not a reflection of you. He does not define you and you are not responsible for how he behaves. So what if he does those things, you are not his keeper and you cannot control how he behaves. You can only control how you respond. You are 21 now and your friends as well are 21. Views mature and you might be surprised that if you inform those close to you that your brother is autistic they may show more compassion towards him than you were expecting. Try to give people the benefit of the doubt, especially now that you are all maturing. I know it feels like a hopeless situation but you really have one of two choices, continue to carry this pain or let your brother go. He is not trying to hurt you on purpose and carrying a desire to suicide over it is not fair to you. It is time for you to let who your brother is go and work on your own self image which sounds like it is in need of some attention and healing. Can I ask were you always put second in the family after your brother's needs? Did you feel ignored or otherwise discounted because your brother needed so much attention?

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I appreciate the fast replies.

@Lady Slothbottom

I understand my brothers diagnosis and what it means to him, but when he does things that normal people wouldn't do, I can't help but feel embarassed to an extent, where I feel like he is holding me back, because I cannot do the things I want to do with my life such as finding a significant other. I know I am meant to be supportive of him and all, but I just can't stop feeling this way when I'm around him, and it makes me feel annoyed, frustrated and embarassed whenever I'm around him. I don't think I'm "pushing him away" as you put it. I try to be as polite as I can when I'm around him and I've never told him about these feelings and thoughts, but it's impossible to let someone in, when you feel this way about them, and I'm sorry about that, but I just can't at the moment.

@Smcine

When you say Jay is embarassing, how does it make you feel? I've spoken to plenty of doctors and shrinks about this topic, so this is not something I keep to myself at all.

@Michelle38

My shrink believes that these thoughts and feelings about my brother stem from how I view myself, much like you do. I know I don't like myself very much, but these thoughts and feelings about my brother make me feel worse and more suicidal than anything else that troubles me. I have spoken to my shrink about it, and the reason why I feel so bad about it is because I believe that others will look down on me, when they see my brother. My shrink tells me that people won't like me more or less because I have a brother with autism, but I guess that's how I feel. We have talked about that and also a bit about what you mention about me not being him and that I can't control what he does, so I feel like you see things the way my shrink does too. But it's like I don't even want to be related to him or anyone else in my family really, because I'm so ashamed (mostly about my autistic brother, but also about other members of my family). To answer your question, I guess my brother always required more attention than my twin and I, but I don't recall feeling bad about it when I was younger. Maybe I did. Everything feels so complicated and blurry in a way.

@Elicia

My brother moved out 5-6 years ago. I only see him once a week when he comes to visit. I fell into a black hole when my ex girlfriend dumped me, which was around 2.5 years ago now. I have been extremely suicidal ever since, and my mom won't let me move out, because she's afraid I might **** myself.

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Sorry but these sound like excuses... "My mom won't let me move out" you're a grown man...you can move out if you want to. Also you say you're suicidal living there and being around your brother. Wouldn't it be better to be on your own, away from him since you feel he's been such a burden on you living a "normal" life?

It's not all about you. You need to get over yourself.

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What strikes me is that you must put a lot of weight on what others thibk of you and be anxious and uncertain of acceptance from others. I think people who are centred and sure in themselves and acceptance from others would not care. I also dont think you would judge your brother in this way if you did not judge yourself in the same way.

The truth is that very few people would judge you about your brother in the way you fear and it therefore isnt accurate to be concerned about these things. Its therfore a distortion and entirely about your feelings about yourself.It may be best to therefore start off speaking about and working on your self image and judgment. I wonder if anyone in your life picked on the way you are and what you did. Maybe at home, school or from a friend.

I would also spend a bit more time looking at the sibling rivalry thing as Its very normal for siblings to feel some sense of emotional neglect when they have a disabled brother or sister. Parents are only human and it is pretty hard giving all your children all they need when your hands are that full.

Edited by Fizzle
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You do realize your brother isn't normal and will never be normal. To try to force the world to bend to your will that he be normal is not going to change a thing. He is not ever in any way going to change. Can you accept that? If you cannot why can you not. What is it about being embarrassed that is so life threatening to you? Why is it the end of the world? There is something behind the embarrassment that you need to uncover. Do you blame him for the breakup of your past relationship? Do you blame yourself for being embarrassed? Is it really that you want to die because you are embarrassed or because you are angry at yourself for being embarrassed? I think you should really spend some time exploring why you do not like yourself. I think if you can resolve that, see that you are human with normal human reactions maybe your issue with your brother will resolve itself. You need to love yourself and know you are loveable if you ever hope to feel worthy of love. So try not to stop at embarrassed. Go deeper and you will find your answers.

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I understand that you're wanting some compassion here, Golden, but as Michelle, Fizz and Elicia all seem to hit upon is that you need to be the one to make the change, because he likely does not have the capacity to. I know it sounds difficult and as if we're placing blame or finger-pointing, but what you're doing is effectively blaming your brother for having a condition that he cannot control. That isn't fair. He isn't doing anything to hurt you even if you think he is.

You need to find a way to appreciate his better qualities and learn not to be so ashamed of him. I know a pocketful of autistic people and treated them as I'd treat everyone else - with kindness and compassion - and with the understanding that people on the autistic spectrum do not function so well in social situations were others might. One boy in particular would be persistently picked on by members of near every class when we were in high school, and one day he got so sick of it that he threw a chair across the room at them. Rather than deal with the bullying, the boy was ridiculed by his teachers for his behaviour when he'd finally snapped. This had been going on for months and the boy in question was always on his own. Imagine how he must have felt thinking that everybody hated him because he didn't know how to socialise? Barely anyone would help him and, as a child, I didn't either, and for that I'm ashamed.

People pick up on the awkwardness of others and it's likely that your brother is aware of how you feel, to some degree, even if you haven't told him about it. It really is a shame that you feel the way that you do, and I hope we can help you to change those feelings. Your brother does not reflect back upon you. You are two separate people and those around you will see that.

Edited by Lady Slothbottom
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I have never been ashamed or embarrassed by my cousin. He also grew up in an era where very few autistic people. He came to our weddings, all of our holiday celebrations. To us, he was just Jay.

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My 36-year-old aunt is mentally handicapped and I have to babysit for all her needs, so I know what it's like. Also, my mom is a frustrating person herself to deal with. She has the brain of a 9-year-old and she likes to enforce her immaturity on other people. It gets annoying. Also, she has a multitude of disorders and passed all those cursed genes to me so you can tell my life is already a living -----. I'm pretty much sacrificing my life just to make hers better. It's miserable and I hate it, but I can't do anything about it. God just likes to curse some people, and make others lives better. I don't know why he does that, but it's really screwed up.

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My son is autistic.

So maybe, GoldenOne, you somehow feel guilty for being the son without autism? Could that be it? Some kind of survivor's guilt making you feel the way you do?

You don't get my sympathy either. Life with my 24-year old son is challenging. There are times when I'm thoroughly irritated by things he does, the way he speaks and the lengths I have to go to not lose my patience.

I know that him having his disability has influenced the way I've made choices about my life, but I believe that I am free no matter what. In other words, I do not blame him for my life.

He's getting ready to move out (by the summer!) and we're all excited for him.

I'm sorry you broke up with your girlfriend. If she said it was because of your brother, you're well rid of her.

It's time to let go of the crap that's keeping you in purgatory and live the life you were meant to live. I think you should examine your mother's overbearing insistence that you not leave. Since your brother has moved out, she has to agonize over you. She needs to live her life, too.

I hope you move out on your own, sooner than later, so you can relate to your family members (mother AND brother) in a less complicated and intense way.

Edited by Dolphin2013
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Sending you a hug. It is difficult to be where you are and I too applaud you for being honest about how you feel. Life is hard when you are so young, I know you feel old but 40 years here and after a while you really won't care what others think.

All I can think of is myself here okay? I suffer from too many mental issues to list, depression, ptsd, bi-polar etc, and I say things that shouldn't be said, I do things sometimes that I cannot seem to stop myself from doing and I know it has to embarrass my husband and kids. They care about me enough to just look past it all. (I am not at all trying to say I am worse than an autistic person, It is not the same at all)

Your brother cannot help how he is, if he could he would probably choose to be "normal". Do your friends blame you if your brother picks his nose? Do they understand that he has issues and can't help himself? If you only see him once a week can you treat him as you would a stranger? I mean to see him as a person with a condition. Would you hate a stranger with his condition? Would you feel suicidal because someone on the bus is talking to himself? If you had to sit next to a Downs' Syndrome person would you be ashamed of them? If the answer is no then try to see him through new eyes. If the answer is yes well I would talk to a therapist, if your current one isn't helpful find one who is.

I agree with the others, if moving out is an option I would absolutely move out. Whether your mom wants you to or not it is your choice. Some distance would probably help you with some of the animosity as well, it has to be hard to be that close and feel so pressured and offended, and your mom probably doesn't like you to say anything to your brother and she can't be blamed for that at all. But you can't help feeling the way you feel either, have you done any research on his condition and what it entails? I know you have lived with him but sometimes actually reading about things help us to understand more. Maybe there is a group you could join to help process how you feel about it?

I agree with Dolphin, could you be feeling guilty because you are not autistic? It might sound strange but it does happen. My youngest son was born with some birth defects, heart and facial deformity. I feel so guilty sometimes all I can do is cry, he doesn't blame me, I blame myself. My other son has said that he feels bad, why was he born fine and his brother wasn't.

Being on your own is hard but it is necessary, by being self reliant I think it helps us see more of what is important.

Edited by JaLee
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  • 10 months later...

First of all, I cannot stress enough how callous and ignorant all the commenters sound. Firstly, if you do not have any experience with this, YOU CANNOT TELL THE OP HOW TO FEEL.


If you've never had an autistic sibling, you honestly shouldn't be putting in your two cents. You haven't been there, you're only looking from the outside. And what a way to talk to someone suicidal. You honestly should feel ashamed for talking to the OP as you are. And if you haven't been in their position, then you should honestly keep shut.


GoldenOne, you have every single right to feel the way you do- no matter how old you are. Do not let anyone so ignorant guilt you into feeling badly for a totally human response. By the sounds of it, they don't have an autistic sibling. They've never dealt with it. They think just because your sibling is the one with autism and you do not have it that you should shut yourself down from feeling. You shouldn't feel bad.


I have an autistic sibling and I have had to take care of them. I've had to cook, clean, watch them, make sure he didn't hurt himself and he often took out his anger on me. My parents weren't home to take care of him for most of the day and financial troubles made it worse. If I seemed unhappy, they'd yell at me. He was always much bigger than me, being my older brother of course. He would often hurt me and I'd be expected to be a robot and be totally immune to everything. I'd get criticized by ignorant family members, similar to the commenters above, who never dealt with the specifics. For years and years, I was guilted into feeling like a horrible person for wanting freedom and to live a life of a normal teenager. At times, I still have to take care of him. At those moments, I feel suicidal myself because I feel trapped and the past seems to creep up and stir horrible feelings. At times I wish he weren't in my life because it gets seriously depressing. He didn't ask to be this way, but I never asked to be put in this position, either. He's allowed to be human, so am I. So are you. Don't let yourself become desensitized because people think you can't be affected and shouldn't feel bad. 


And honestly, people who have responded so coldly, "just leave" or "your brother can't help it"– it's NOT that simple. But then again, if you've never been in this situation, you wouldn't know. You hear "autism" and you only want to feel bad for the person with autism while completely disregarding those that take care of those with autism. But guess what? It's hard for people who have to be a caretaker and put up with the abuse. It can not only bring physical hurt, but emotional hurt as well. It's very emotional. Having an autistic siblings, sometimes, leads to a lot of emotional manipulation. My mother often tries (yes, it's continuous) to guilt me in many ways because of this situation and put all the weight on my shoulders. Parents add to the burden, as well as the sibling. Not something any child should deal with. I've had to get so much help from professionals because of this. And a brother is MUCH MORE close than a grandfather. They shouldn't be compared, lmao. 


In your situation, it's totally understandable that you feel suicidal. You feel trapped. I'm not going to judge your home life because I don't know the details. Some people seem to forget that depression is an illness and one cannot snap out of it as they wish. Wouldn't that be easy? We'd all be happy. It can effect your entire life. Depression takes all motivation away to do anything, including the necessary steps for self-care. Can you do any activities outside when he is home? Go to someone's house? A store, mall, etc for a few hours while he is home to help ease the feelings? Going out is helpful for dealing with depression. Do you have your own room? Could you watch several movies while he is there? Or do something such as bake your favorite desert and share it with your brother. Watch him smile and you'll see his innocence gleaming. Any activities where you could include him? And if you don't want to, then how about other activities?


Bottom line, you shouldn't feel guilty for feeling the way you do. This isn't your brother's fault. He didn't ask for it. But it isn't your fault, either, and you didn't ask for this. Are you ok? A lot of times those who have siblings with autism are often left in a shadow and expected to endure. And be emotionless. People, especially people who have never been in this situation, especially shouldn't tell you how to feel because its all easier said than done. Talk is cheap. If you feel suicidal, please call a hotline or do a coping activity. Anything to help you. You need to take care of yourself. And not feel guilty. You don't need to feel bad, what you need to feel is validated.

Edited by OnyxLilia
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On 4/3/2015 at 2:26 PM, Elicia said:

Ok im having a hard time sympathizing... But I'll ask you one question...

You're 21, why are you still at home if he bothers you so much? You could've moved out 3 years ago.

That is easier said then done especially if you go to school and have to pay tuition or help your parents pay the rent,i don,t know anyone who is 18 that moved out,my friends all went to college and some of them have good jobs but they live with there parents in there mid 20s,I have been live n my own for a year but haven,t been able to get a fulltime job that works around my school schedule so my parents have to move in with me,until im done and can get a full time job.it is pretty common here the average age to move out in new jersey is 27 I read.if my mother did not find a house that was cheap I would be paying 1500 in rent plus utilties car repairs, student loans, phone bills, internet.I paid everything now and is 1,200 including my loans utilities credit cards.If your single it is very difficult my the few friends i have I can,t trust because i know they like to party alot and are in contact with alot of drug dealers roommates are hard to find and not always reliable.I don,t know what job you can do here with out a college degree that would cover the costs of living.I have no idea how people move out at 18 if there single and don,t have any friends they can trust.

im pretty paranoid because im screwed if something goes wrong my car didn,t start yesterday and i almost lost my mind because I am out of money living on credit and was having trouble finding someone to give me a ride.i have to clean shop for everything and probaly spend 60 to 70 hours on school work all throught out college i was working full time throught out almost every semester of college.Doing errands takes most of my free time I love when people tell me to join all these groups and socialize when I don,t have any free time i shouldn,t even be on here at all,Since I need to study for organic chemistry the only time I have free time is 5;00 pm and sometime Saturday morning.it is not as easy to move out as it sounds.

i have a severley autistic cousin he can,t speak at all and hes 16,i feel bad around him but I feel very uncomfertable and anxious when i see him he grabs people and just stares at them,I hug him and stuff but sometimes he starts pushing you or pulling you and starts screaming randomly in public my aunt can,t leave the house sometimes,he can,t read or write he pretty much can,t communicate at all with anybody.i would be increable stress out if he lived with me.I think the poster is blowing out of portion it doesn,t seem that bad if he just picks is nose or farts.i am the oldest in my family so i end up taking care of everybody.Im getting worried that im going to end up taking care of everybody including my aunts and uncles that don,t have kids when there older.

Edited by scienceguy
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My younger brother is schizophrenic.  When I was in my 20s, I used to play basketball a lot with 2 "good friends".  Once I invited my brother along with me.  Afterward my "friends" asked me to never bring my brother with me again. I ended my friendship with those guys immediately, even though we had been buddies for many years.  

Today, a couple of decades later, I am my brother's legal guardian.  He lives in a type of group home, but I handle a lot of his affairs.  I decided I couldn't turn my back on him, even though it cost me a lot, in many ways.  Having to care for him even indirectly cost me my first marriage, a blow from which I never fully recovered.

My life could have been a lot easier and happier if I didn't have the burden of my brother around.  However I do, and I know it's not his fault.  As inconvenient and painful as his presence has been in my life, I know life has been a lot worse for him than for me.  Compassion for ill or mentally disabled family members isn't easy, and it comes at a price.

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On April 3, 2015 at 4:11 PM, Elicia said:

Sorry but these sound like excuses... "My mom won't let me move out" you're a grown man...you can move out if you want to. Also you say you're suicidal living there and being around your brother. Wouldn't it be better to be on your own, away from him since you feel he's been such a burden on you living a "normal" life?

It's not all about you. You need to get over yourself.

I understand where you're coming from, but telling a seriously depressed person to "get over himself" is just.. ugh.  

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  • 3 months later...

I know it's been a while since you asked this question, but I felt the need to respond. I kind of understand where you're coming from, considering the fact that I have 2 brothers with autism - one is 17 and one is 11 (I'm 15). They can be embarrassing at times, as you mentioned, but a sibling picking their nose is one of the least troubling things I've experienced. There's temper tantrums in restraunts, crying in grocery stores, asking random strangers embarrassing questions, I've seen it all. But essentially their disorder has helped me learn a lot. I've learned independence, empathy, responsibility, and how to sacrifice things for the needs of other people. Some days it can seem like the cons outweigh the pros, especially when we are all herded over to my dad's 2 bedroom apartment every other weekend. But other days it's easy to relish in the joys of living with a sibling with autism (unfortunately those days don't last long though). It took me a while to come to this conclusion, especially since I'm a very pessimistic person, but once you focus your mind on some of the good things that can come out of your relationship with your brother, your emotions around him will most likely improve too. Don't get me wrong, I still have those days where I want to go to my room and cry from embarrassment, but honestly, nobody is going to remember a thing some random kid did in a store 3 weeks ago. Sorry if I've offended you at all with this post. Hopefully this helps!

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On April 3, 2015 at 8:29 AM, GoldenOne said:

I am so embarassed of my older autistic brother. It gets to the point where I get suicidal because of it.

Every time I see him, which is around once a week, I get extremely suicidal no matter what happens. I feel like he is ruining my life, not because he wants to, but just because he's different. He does and says things that others wouldn't do or say in front of others, and it embarasses me so much. I feel like I will never be able to have a girlfriend, friends come over to visit my family, even going to the movies with him is really exhausting for me and fills me with anxiety, because I am so afraid of running into people I know with my brother, or perhaps he might say or do something in public that will embarass me.

Yesterday evening I was sitting in the livingroom with my mother and brother, when my brother starts picking his nose. It made me feel so awful inside that I seriously considered ending my life. I still feel that way today. It makes me feel so hopeless that I feel like I can't even relate to the darkest songs about hopelessness. I feel like having a brother with autism who might pick his nose or fart or laugh out loud or do something else that could embarass me in front of others forces me to live isolated, because I can't let anyone close to me, because then they'd have to see him.

On one side I feel bad for feeling this way, but on the other side I truly feel like he is ruining my life, which makes me feel hatred and disgust towards him. I know this is not alright, since he's not doing any of this to intentionally make me feel this way, but I can't shake this feeling. I just can't, I've tried with psychotherapy for a year now (I'm 21 and my brother is 25).

It just gets to the point where I feel like I might as well end my life, because this will always be a thorn in my side. He will always be an embarassment to me, and there's nothing I can do about it.

golden one, I don't know how it feels to be in your shoes. my sister has bipolar disorder and has a pill addiction , and though it's not the same... it can be challenging to be with her in public just bc it's tough to cope with her ups and downs when no one really understands what she's going through. however, to me I will stare down a person if they so much try to judge. family is family, it's blood. but I grew up like that, it's part of my Latino culture. no one will ever be there for you like family as dis functional as it is.

I think that your brother and his situation is an unchangeable thing. but what you can change is you. I feel like you might not have your own identity anchored down yet. At your age I was on a path to find out who I really was.

maybe it's time you try and go out on your own. my family is dysfunctional, I can only love them from afar.. maybe it's time you distance from your family and go on your path of self discovery. 

I  know the economy is sh*t but it can be done. school, sharing a house or renting a room, getting a job ... all that I think will help you just be you and cope the best you can.

at 18 I bailed on my family and left for college, I borrowed money through school loans and I worked through college. took the bus 3 hours one way .. 6 hours round trip. it's a lot of work, a lot of sacrifice, a lot of pain. there were times when I was on the bust in the sh*ttiest parts of Los Angeles thinking, is this worth it? my parents were poor and I could never and did ever ask them for money. sometimes it's just you in the world even if you do have family. .. I can say at 33, yes it was all worth it. I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't take that first step.

maybe it's time to take the big step. 

i do think that how you feel is a blend of a lot of things. you're living with your parents who have no choice but to dedicate their lives to your brother, your heart is broken, self esteem is not where you'd like it to be, you're going through a lot of stuff. 

just focus on you. I don't know what is right or wrong . but if you feel uncomfortable when your brother visits why don't you go to a coffee shop or run an errand.

i think in the log run you will have to decide whether you will continue living with your parents or not. the situation won't change otherwise. 

:console:

Edited by ejc
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1 hour ago, Mbaea987 said:

I know it's been a while since you asked this question, but I felt the need to respond. I kind of understand where you're coming from, considering the fact that I have 2 brothers with autism - one is 17 and one is 11 (I'm 15). They can be embarrassing at times, as you mentioned, but a sibling picking their nose is one of the least troubling things I've experienced. There's temper tantrums in restraunts, crying in grocery stores, asking random strangers embarrassing questions, I've seen it all. But essentially their disorder has helped me learn a lot. I've learned independence, empathy, responsibility, and how to sacrifice things for the needs of other people. Some days it can seem like the cons outweigh the pros, especially when we are all herded over to my dad's 2 bedroom apartment every other weekend. But other days it's easy to relish in the joys of living with a sibling with autism (unfortunately those days don't last long though). It took me a while to come to this conclusion, especially since I'm a very pessimistic person, but once you focus your mind on some of the good things that can come out of your relationship with your brother, your emotions around him will most likely improve too. Don't get me wrong, I still have those days where I want to go to my room and cry from embarrassment, but honestly, nobody is going to remember a thing some random kid did in a store 3 weeks ago. Sorry if I've offended you at all with this post. Hopefully this helps!

 

On February 12, 2016 at 11:28 AM, One More Red Nightmare said:

I understand where you're coming from, but telling a seriously depressed person to "get over himself" is just.. ugh.  

I agree , I think saying "get over it" trivializes someone else's experience especially if we don't know exsctly how that person feels and haven't experienced what they've experienced in such a psychologically complex situation. 

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