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Inbetween

Missing My Exwife

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So basically, my wife of 16 years walked out on me, we had a quick divorce, and we have had no contact since (6 months), and she doesn't want any. She told me not to ever contact her again. I still love her with all my heart however, and think and dream of her often. I can't get to have hate for her for leaving me and the circumstance around it. I truly believed we were soulmates and now I feel hollow and dead without her. I dont know how to get over the grief of the loss of someone that I was closer to than anyone else in my life, even myself. She was a part of me, and now that part of me is gone.

I am seeing a councelor starting tomorrow, maybe that will help. I also suffer from depression and anxiety, which was a major cause of her leaving.

Any suggestions on how to handle the grief, how long it will take to get over it?

Thank you, Inby.

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I'm glad you're going to counseling IB, and it is very tough to be with someone for so long only to have it end. But from our many conversations, I know what a great guy you are and I am more than sure you will get through this and find someone to spend the rest of your life with that will make you happier than you've ever thought you could be. You have to go through your feelings of grief now so they don't linger through your life and relationship in the future. It's going to be ok. :hugs:

Edited by flasquish

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Inbetween - As someone twice divorced, I certainly empathize with you and know exactly how devastating losing someone you love can be. I wish there was some magic cure for the pain that I could share with you; but as flasquish said, the only thing you can do is allow yourself to grieve. There aren't any shortcuts. Immerse yourself in a hobby, if you can. Read inspirational literature. Go running. Go to the gym and take out your frustration on a punching bag. Do you have kids together? If not, take heart in the fact that you don't NEED to have any contact with her. I have a young son (by ex #2) who is autistic, which means I have to engage in a lot of interaction with her, which can be very difficult at times. I'm not going to sugarcoat your situation. Divorce just plain sucks, even the most "amicable" ones. You are going to have to navigate some very rough water in the coming months. But you will survive. It may take some time, but things will get better. Feel free to pm me if you need a fellow traveler to commiserate with. I wish you the best during this very difficult time.

Peace, tim

Edited by LonelyHiker

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