I Need Help To Cope Please

[Matt_h91]

Hi, I've been suffering with depression since I was 16 I'm now 23 and I feel like it holds such a big place in my life n I have no control over it! I've done cbt see psychologists even done a mindfulness course and as soon as something little upsets me it just grows and grows until I no longer want to live, I hurt myself and have looked into the most painless ways to die after failing an attempt and I just feel so lost like I can't imagine my future anymore and tht just makes me feel even more like I shouldn't be alive. I can't talk to my family as I'm already the black sheep I can't talk to my friends as I don't want the 2 I've got judging me and I feel so alone I just want to be normal

[WorkingHard]

Hey Matt. Sorry your in this place for so long. It's not easy as most of us here know. I understand about not talking to people about what you are going through, being judged and losing friends is very hard and hurtful. You did awesome by coming here. Here is a safe place to talk. A safe place to vent. So, keep talking , tell us, are you medicated and in therapy now? Can you pull out your cat notes and start at the beginning and maybe try to remember some of the things you were taught and try them again? I haven't done cbt myself jsyk.

I know in the midst of depressed thoughts, or suicidal.thou fb 5sos they seem to just happen or they do with me. It's almost impossible to stop them. Your inner dialog is important. Keep working on that. I am kind, I am nice, I am.sweet, I am honest, the positive side of I am as often as you can. It might help, or don't know, everyone is so different. Come back and talk.more to us. We are here to help support you and listen

[Matt_h91]

Hi,

Thanks for your replies, I'm currently medicated with 200mg sertraline and 150mg quetiapine but both seemed not to help, I opened up last night and let some of my past go which has made me feel a lot more positive today. I'm the black sheep because of my moods they didn't understand why I was like this and I was kicked out when I was 18 and everyone basically ignored me from then, it's nice to know there are others like me though as it makes me feel less like I'm alone in this, thanks for your comments it's nice to have a safe place to vent