Natasha1 Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 Can i do this? Should i try? Maybe it will be worth it for the experience. Maybe it will work out. Maybe ill actually be able to do it. Maybe others are just being too nice to me out of pity. But why would they lead me like that? Maybe it is worth a shot? Maybe i am too anxious to try. So much pressure. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uncertain1 Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 Was going through some files of quotes, poems, lyrics that I keep: Chuck Lorre Vanity Card #431 (partial) Aired 11.21.13 (Big Bang Theory) "I'm thinking of writing a children's story about a leaf on a tree who arrogantly insists he's a self-made, independent leaf. Then one day, a fierce wind blows him off his branch and to the ground below. As his life slowly ebbs away, he looks up at the magnificent old tree that had been his home and realizes that he had never been on his own. His entire life he had been part of something bigger and more beautiful than anything he could have imagined." 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 10 hours ago, Natasha1 said: Can i do this? Should i try? Maybe it will be worth it for the experience. Maybe it will work out. Maybe ill actually be able to do it. Maybe others are just being too nice to me out of pity. But why would they lead me like that? Maybe it is worth a shot? Maybe i am too anxious to try. So much pressure. You can do it. I'm being nice because I care about you. I'm leading you to something I know will make you happy. In the end you win or the voice in your head that feeds you doubts about yourself wins. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samadhiSheol Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 (edited) The pointlessness of (my) life. I can't move. I'm stuck in fuc king nothingness. Edited July 3, 2017 by samadhiSheol 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 Sadly there is really no point to any of it. Our lives aren't any more important than the life of the spider I see on the wall. All that matters is that we are doing whatever we want to do right now. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samadhiSheol Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 1 hour ago, sober4life said: Sadly there is really no point to any of it. Our lives aren't any more important than the life of the spider I see on the wall. All that matters is that we are doing whatever we want to do right now. I don't seem to want anything other than just f-off... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uncertain1 Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 8 hours ago, Teddy545 said: I've been thinking that I want more pets all day. Now I'm not sure if I should add more responsibilities, I've been avoiding most of mine lately. I'm also not sure if a new pet would make me happy. I have a cat but I'm not really a cat person. Hi Teddy I strongly suggest waiting. Please. Do the best you can to give attention to those pets you have provided a home for. If you need help with their care, perhaps a friend can come help. If that's not an option, local animal rescue groups may be able to offer help. If you're in the U.S. Petfinder.com has a "Shelters and Rescue" tab. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidSurvivor2011 Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 Leaving my internship and moving on from those that I worked with. no good !!! - KS 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 That sounds like me after every job I ever had. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uncertain1 Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 21 hours ago, Teddy545 said: I do give attention to my cat and I take care of her just fine. All I have to do is food, water and clean her box everyday, then she wants to sit on my lap 24/7. I bought her all of this cat furniture. I don't know how anyone could struggle at taking care of a cat, I think they are the easiest animal to take care of. I was talking about the responsibilities of taking care of myself, taking care of a human is much more complicated. Hi Teddy, I'm so sorry I misunderstood and didn't mean to imply anything negative about you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 It's funny when even the dog thinks I'm crazy. He looks at me like what the hell is wrong with you? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skblue Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Thinking about trying to get out of part of a long weekend trip this week with some friends. I don't want to get out of it entirely, because I know I will enjoy it, but feeling a little overloaded on social time this week, with the same friends. And feeling really anxious about the three of us sharing a room - I often have a hard time falling asleep with other people in the room and I've already had a few bad nights this week. Three more consecutive nights where I'm pretty sure I'll have a hard time sleeping feels like too much, especially since they want to do lots of physically active things during the day. I'm debating between making up an excuse or just telling them the truth. Normally, I would make up an excuse, thinking that the truth wouldn't be acceptable and people would either think I was being a wimp or lazy or something and then not want to associate with me as much and/or try to pressure me into doing what they want. And I'm trying to figure out how to make one of them let me pay what we originally agreed on, since I know if I miss a night, she'll try to tell me not to pay as much, which isn't fair to either of them. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 I'm thinking about the constant whammy that is my life. I was feeling really down when I arrived at work this morning--and then found out I have to attend a late night meeting where people will be busy not touching me with 10-foot poles. It's an impending disaster. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayley R Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 how there are some people in life that are dealt all the sh**** cards, and i happen to be one of them. i'm thinking about this story i heard recently about a young boy who died by su***** at 15 after being depressed and having su****** ideations practically since he could talk... i am the same... but i've made it this far, 19 years. we will see what happens 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 I can't do this anymore. I guess I'm trash. Nobody likes me so I'm done. I'm just going to go hide in the woods or in the closet like the monster I am. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natasha1 Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 3 hours ago, sober4life said: I can't do this anymore. I guess I'm trash. Nobody likes me so I'm done. I'm just going to go hide in the woods or in the closet like the monster I am. No way. I like you. I like seeing you post.no hiding allowed. Keep your face here where we can see you. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 I love you Natasha. Thank you for being a friend. I will be here for you forever. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samadhiSheol Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 7 hours ago, sober4life said: I can't do this anymore. I guess I'm trash. Nobody likes me so I'm done. I'm just going to go hide in the woods or in the closet like the monster I am. Fu ck that. You are awesome. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 I'm really struggling with myself right now. I'm struggling with my sexuallity. That's what they say. I never struggled myself. I always knew but I was scarred. I was scared to be me. I hate that. I remember talking to a friend a couple months ago. I told him I'm crazy. He asked do you hurt people. No of course not was my answer. I'm a wimp that never got in a fight my whole life. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evalynn Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 My doggy just got over an ear infection a few weeks ago and now she has a sty on her eye. She won't let us put a compress on it, I guess because it hurts. She's been sleeping a lot so hope she gets better soon. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 Being me is so hard. Why did god have to do this to me? I wish I was born the girl that I wanted to be. Of course nobody wants me as is. Oh yes please give me the weird guy wearing a wig and girls clothes. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skblue Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Do I want to go meet up with them for the rest of the weekend? I'm kind of feeling the irresistible pull of having the apartment to myself for two full days and how much of the cleaning project I started yesterday done in that time. But at the same time, I'm feeling disgusted with myself for once again being unreliable. I said I would go and now I don't want to. Which is more important, using this time to do something that will be a HUGE weight off my mind or keeping my promise to my friends? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 I feel worse than I ever felt in my life. The hatred for myself gets stronger and stronger every moment. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 What's on my mind? The fact that my life has been one long, awful farce. I had no choice in being born into this sh!thole. But I guess I do have a choice when it comes to making an exit. Hey, it's "my" life (or lack thereof). 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 I don't want you to go. I see good things in you and you see good things in me. It just seems impossible to see them for ourselves. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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