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What's On Your Mind Right Now?


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I'm thinking about why I keep coming here. I had many goals and ambitions and a year passed without any bad thoughts or relapses. Then, when I completed all the goals... Well, the emptiness returned, the apathy returned, the laziness, the inability to smile, the desire to hide away... It's hard to relapse after a year of a pretty good life, it's even harder to admit it...

I'm thinking why I'm here and what to do next, can't find the answers though :(

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I guess its pretty trivial, but I only have one window in my house and it is needed for ventilation.  But when it rains, the water comes in with the fresh air.  I have been thinking of ways [that are not to expensive for me] to solve this.  An awning would do it.  A window with louvers.  Trying to think of a DIY cheaper solution.  That has preoccupied me for awhile now. 

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1 hour ago, Epictetus said:

I guess its pretty trivial, but I only have one window in my house and it is needed for ventilation.  But when it rains, the water comes in with the fresh air.  I have been thinking of ways [that are not to expensive for me] to solve this.  An awning would do it.  A window with louvers.  Trying to think of a DIY cheaper solution.  That has preoccupied me for awhile now. 

I have the same problem! Well, I have two windows, but the rain generally comes in both of them. I've been dealing with it by leaving the window open but closing the curtains. And just wiping up any water that comes in if there's a gust of wind or something. It's not perfect, but so far it has been better than closing the windows. 

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He's not a fox.  He doesn't have the right teeth to be a fox.  They're honestly not sure what he is so he'll fit in good with me.  I'm going to say he's a fox anyway.  When he went to the vet he attacked the doctors the whole time so they probably didn't care what he was.  They just wanted him out of there.  I'm not sure what kind of life he has had.  He acts like he doesn't even know how to play with toys.  He sits and howls a lot like a coyote.  He's strange like I am I think.

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Whether this is hormones, seasonal depression, or just a near breakdown, it e.f.f.ing sucks. I can't take it. I feel so smurfing miserable. I can distract myself with books, internet, TV only for small periods of time. I just want a break from feeling so down. I hope it is hormones and I feel better in the next day or so, or else I'll pull my hair out! I am being so obsessively  negative; how do I get rid of these thoughts that plague me? 

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1 hour ago, Nisemono said:

It seems supremely arrogant to think that other people would want to know you when you're so sick of yourself.

I want to know you, but I understand the sentiment and feel the same about myself.

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So I collect Barbies (most of them given to me by my sister who used to collect) and my new Wonder Woman Barbie just came in and I'm so excited. It looks just like the actress from the movie! I love it. I feel like a little girl just staring at it and smiling. lol

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42 minutes ago, Nisemono said:

Zelda: Breath of The Wild isn't it? Gawd! 900? I felt proud of myself for doing all the puzzle shrines. Don't have the patience to find 900 of those little tree buggers.

Oh ok I remember playing Zelda games when I was young.  I haven't played them in ages.  They are very addictive that's for sure.

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3 minutes ago, Nisemono said:

Childrens toys? I'm far too mature for such things. I only own two nerf guns because they're so cool. Pew! Pew! Pew! You know, with the foam darts and stuff. Pew! Pew! Pew!

My son and l have several assortment of nerf guns.  We also used to have some similar to laser tag (shield noted so many hits, then you died) we sadly wore them out. Made wood walks even more fun.

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