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What's On Your Mind Right Now?


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On 4/8/2017 at 10:16 PM, mulberrypie said:

In the pines, in the pines where the sun don't ever shine, I would shiver the whole night through.

(a folk song covered by Nirvana)

I love that song. I've never heard Nirvana's version. It's Leadbelly's song, I believe.

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2 hours ago, evalynn said:

Whenever I need to be up, I'm falling asleep. And when I should be sleeping, I'm wide awake. I really think my body likes messing with me.

The exact same thing happens to me:dontgetit:That's why we run into each other so often on here:smile:

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Everybody hates you, nobody loves you. Repeat constantly all ****ing day.

I feel like it's worse, it's not hate. It's complete indifference or that I'm being a bother, and lack of love. That's why it's like darkness, it's about what's not there, the absence of light.

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Ok so my mind. I'm on thin ice with admitting how awful all this got. I feel like I need help but I don't know how or where from. I take the stupid meds and they help nothing. iTS APRIL ALREADY. Time escapes me and scares me. Nightmares keep torturing me. I've never known what it's like to be healthy. I have nothing to go back to. I'll be alone tomorrow for the whole day.

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10 hours ago, samadhiSheol said:

I don't have a place in this world.

I hate the nothingness I am. I hate myself.

I'm tired of the futile efforts of finding a purpose, happiness, whatever. They don't exist. Existence is pointless and haphazard. 

I want my life to end now.

Sadly I know exactly how you feel.  I have felt that same way for decades.

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Ok so my mind. I'm on thin ice with admitting how awful all this got. I feel like I need help but I don't know how or where from. I take the stupid meds and they help nothing. iTS APRIL ALREADY. Time escapes me and scares me. Nightmares keep torturing me. I've never known what it's like to be healthy. I have nothing to go back to. I'll be alone tomorrow for the whole day.

:hearthrob:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Maybe...just maybe i can become a good piano player again. I just want to be a better teacher so im working on my stuff and will perform in June. Re-doing some exams too. God i let my skills go downhill for 20 years.

I took my stuff to a fellow teacher to get some feedback...she said i sure picked a hard one. You bet i did. Lol. Im regretting that a bit but im determined to make this piece work.

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I've got this enormous project deadline hanging over my head. I am supposed to be training someone else to do this. I've been doing it for 28 years now. The other person really does not want to do it and actually resents my methodology. But they don't want to develop any of their own.

I learned it "from scratch".

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