samadhiSheol Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 1 hour ago, JD4010 said: Some people can realize (or "actualize") their dreams. I can barely make it through a day. I get that. Sorry you feel like this, @JD4010. I don't even have dreams. I don't know which thoughts or feelings are truly me. Who the hell am I anyway. I don't know what is real. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 I remember when I was a little kid, I wanted to be an astronaut or pilot. I built all these models of rockets and planes. I had a whole bunch of books about flying and space flights. This was during the golden years of the space program, when they were shooting Mercury and Gemini capsules up into orbit using BDRs (Big Dumb Rockets). And then there was the moon landing! But! It turns out I have a disease that has been eating away at my lungs and kidneys over the years. I couldn't have survived the training for space flight, and I probably would have washed out of being a pilot after a number of years. So my dreams crashed and burned, to use a metaphor. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tux Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 (edited) Random reason why I hate the internet at times: Person who contacted me through a website and we've chatted for a while: 'Can I ask you a question?' Me: 'Sure, go ahead' And then nothing. At all. And here I am a week later, wondering what the **** the question was going to be, and what happened to this person? And was it me? Are they okay? Did I pi** the person off or did the person get hurt and is in hospital or something? Like .... was it a personal question, a work question, a therapy question? What? Whaaaat? I hate you internet. Edited March 31, 2017 by Tux 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopekaK Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 On 3/31/2017 at 2:02 PM, Tux said: Random reason why I hate the internet at times: Person who contacted me through a website and we've chatted for a while: 'Can I ask you a question?' Me: 'Sure, go ahead' And then nothing. At all. And here I am a week later, wondering what the **** the question was going to be, and what happened to this person? And was it me? Are they okay? Did I pi** the person off or did the person get hurt and is in hospital or something? Like .... was it a personal question, a work question, a therapy question? What? Whaaaat? I hate you internet. You never know who's behind the screen ;) 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopekaK Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 BIG decisions and major revelations. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 Where did you sleep last night? 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VictorianGoth Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 I wish I were normal and didn't have this uncanny ability to let my mind mess everything up. That is what's on my mind. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mulberrypie Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 (edited) On 4/3/2017 at 7:12 AM, sober4life said: Where did you sleep last night? In the pines, in the pines where the sun don't ever shine, I would shiver the whole night through. (a folk song covered by Nirvana) Edited April 9, 2017 by mulberrypie 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mulberrypie Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 btw that song reminds me of the dense pine grove on our property behind the house. I never go up there at night. Don't know why.... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hocico Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 On 4/3/2017 at 9:40 AM, TopekaK said: You never know who's behind the screen ;) The fact that people just dissapear like that is one of the bad things about the internet, it's anonymity lends itself to people who think it's funny to pretend to be interested in you and then drop you. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
breakfastclub5 Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 How do I pull off my first interview in over a year and not let the feelings of fear, anxiety and worthlessness get to me. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Mozzer Posted April 9, 2017 Share Posted April 9, 2017 The stuff I need to get done like folding and putting away my laundry. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In2deep4me Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 Current med doesn't work, makes things worse, now what? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 I'm in horrible shape. I've never weighed more. And I can barely walk from the parking lot to the office. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evalynn Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 Feeling guilty because I have to reschedule a dinner with my mother-in-law so I can fit in a hair appointment this week (only I'm going to tell her it's a doctor's appointment if she asks so it sounds more important). I hope she's not mad about it being rescheduled, but I have plans on Saturday for once and I want to look good. Writing it down it sounds really shallow but I really do need to do something with my hair. Just hope she's not mad at the inconvenience. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 4 hours ago, JD4010 said: I'm in horrible shape. I've never weighed more. And I can barely walk from the parking lot to the office. I started doing something about it. Found my old walking shoes. Walked 2 miles. Ate a cobb salad instead of a hamburger. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Mozzer Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 I really do want to do something with my life and not be a nobody anymore. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idkusername465 Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 On 3/31/2017 at 5:02 PM, Tux said: Random reason why I hate the internet at times: Person who contacted me through a website and we've chatted for a while: 'Can I ask you a question?' Me: 'Sure, go ahead' And then nothing. At all. And here I am a week later, wondering what the **** the question was going to be, and what happened to this person? And was it me? Are they okay? Did I pi** the person off or did the person get hurt and is in hospital or something? Like .... was it a personal question, a work question, a therapy question? What? Whaaaat? I hate you internet. did you ever get a response? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tux Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 14 hours ago, idkusername465 said: did you ever get a response? I did actually! Took a while though 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meeperfish Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 It's so incredibly hard for me to function like a normal adult. I'm diagnosed bipolar 2 with social phobia, I feel like my only option is applying for disability benefits and I have no idea where to start. I'm only 20 years old and my anxiety holds me back from normal daily functioning, my bipolar makes me extremely uinreliable in the workplace, even on medication. I feel as though I'm a lost cause. I need disability as a safety net but since I'm only 20 I feel like I'm just going to get denied and I don't have the money to hire a disability lawyer. I feel like I'm on the cusp of giving up in this world. I've heard bipolar disorder alone is enough to qualify, and I also have co-morbid disorders that further prevent me from functioning. I'm just so scared for my future. I have a criminal record because of an episode of mania and not realizing what I was doing was wrong. Anyone have any experience with disability? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natasha1 Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 50 more pots of soil ready! Another 50 to go...? IT IS TRANSPLANTING TIME!!!! Excuse my excitement. My tomatoes and peppers are grown by seed so it is exciting as they are my babies. GARDENING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 Why do I hate my job so much? Well, I could fill several pages with reasons. But that's neither here nor there because I'm stuck. No way out--for at least another four years. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natasha1 Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 DBT May 3rd!!!!!! I got in YES!!!!!!!! It snowed on me today while i climbed my mountain...beginning at checkpoint #4 of 6. It was a delight. Seems weird in a tank top but it was welcome. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaliaJo Posted April 13, 2017 Share Posted April 13, 2017 will I ever find you? and if I do, then what? 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meeperfish Posted April 13, 2017 Share Posted April 13, 2017 Afraid I'm never going to figure out just what it is that isn't firing right in my head. It's been major depression, it's been bipolar 2, it's been mood dysregulation. I know for sure I have bad social anxiety and I'm depressed but there's something deeper going on here and I don't know what. Therapy doesn't seem to be doing squat, but I guess I have to give the therapist time to get to know me and form an opinion without jumping the gun. I just hate the lengthy process, I want to be better. I used to be so outgoing and wild and fun. And now, I have no ambition, no desire, nothing. My life feels like a hopeless wreck, I'm drowning in debt, unemployed, in the criminal justice system, and I just want to die and make it all go away. That's what's on my mind. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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