Jump to content

What's On Your Mind Right Now?


Recommended Posts

I spent almost all day figuring out what to do with my time, trying to find things to do to bring some progress to my current situation. In the end I barely did anything, and I realized it was not due to not being able to do it, but rather because I keep thinking "what's the point?", as in: the end result will not make me feel like I accomplished anything. In fact I don't feel much of anything right now, so it's incredibly hard to find things worth doing. It's all just an amorphous blob of "should do it, but nothing's really important anyway, since other than me no one cares, and i currently really don't". I try to keep telling myself I'll feel better if I do something, and while doing minor things (washing clothes, doing the dishes, tidying up a bit) I do feel slightly better while doing it, but afterwards I return to my previous state of emptiness.

I've known a guy, probably one of the smartest people I ever became friends with, that ended up becoming a compulsive horder. I actually wonder, might the reason for hording be to keep tasks at hand so one still has some things in the back to do, so they won't end up feeling empty for running out of a purpose?

I keep telling myself that once I just start completing tasks (like in a video game), that naturally new tasks worth doing follow, and with time I end up finding meaning again in these seemingly meaningless tasks. But all the while the thought keeps nagging on my mind: there's more important things to do...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I keep telling myself that once I just start completing tasks (like in a video game), that naturally new tasks worth doing follow, and with time I end up finding meaning again in these seemingly meaningless tasks. But all the while the thought keeps nagging on my mind: there's more important things to do...

Hello Demi Reyvateil, I know just what you are talking about. You can do all these things that you believe are so important and urgent to be done but find out in the end you really have not did anything that important or fulfilling anyway. It is just a vicious cycle we put ourselves through. I not only suffer from depression but also OCD and I find myself, in this house alone, cleaning it from top to bottom, over and over but still nothing seems as it should be. After a long anxious hyper day ******* myself with all I think I have to do, I realize that I got nothing out of all that racing around doing things and that I am still just as depressed and empty inside. Thanks for your post...Be Good to Yourself... 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, hocico said:

The fact that one day can be so exciting and yet so crushingly disappointing at the same time, perhaps my hopes were too high and I should have realised what would happen. 

Aw, I've been curious but expected only a positive outcome. Next time. :console:

Edited by Mikayla
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 11/18/2016 at 8:38 AM, womanofthelight said:

 

??????  20Years, you did not offend me in the least.  I was agreeing with you in my sarcastic, sardonic, BITTER way.  Sorry if that wasn't clear.  I just wonder now if Trump will abandon ship because he finally realizes how unqualified he is to be President.  I think he may consider the option of being a puppet like GW Bush (his cabinet ran the country.  He just made the speeches.), or stepping down, admitting that he is completely ignorant of government process.   Then we'll have Pence for President, and then the REAL nightmare will begin. 

That guy makes me sick to my stomach are country is going to regress and we are going to turn into isolationist nation china is going to get all the good trade deals and Russia is going to start threatening Europe again. I find it amazing how this country has become so against Europe because of trump, Bernie sanders is going to run in 2020, i know he is going to clean trumps clock, than we will start making progress as a society again, instead of being scared cowards and with drawing from the world, im so sick of hearing about these white nationalists everyday, on the news they were holding a rally outside the white house, it horrible what the police are doing to the native americans at the Dakota pipeline, there shooting people with hoses, in 20 degree temperature shooting them with rubber bullets and blew off a girls arm with a concussion grenade. if I had money I would go protest those pigs trying to destroy our environment no one cares because there native Americans the news would rather talk about stupid , and those godamn disgusting fascists doing the Nazi salute at the white would love to punch one of them in the face. im so angry hearing about this stuff every day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How just a few days off a diet affects my weight, losing it like no tomorrow.. which is counter intuitive to my bulking goal. How I'm going to manage a morning shift on friday when I've been nights for so long. A certain girl, but that's par for the course.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, hocico said:

The fact that one day can be so exciting and yet so crushingly disappointing at the same time, perhaps my hopes were too high and I should have realised what would happen. 

This has to do with the friend you were going to meet?  I'm sorry things didn't turn out the way you'd hoped, hocico.  :console:

When I was in my 20's, I fell in love with a guy who lived many states away.  I wound up flying to meet him, and it turned out to be a disappointing trip.  He didn't feel the same way for me.  Looking back on it, I'm not sure he was capable of really loving anyone at the time.  On the bright side, I did get my butt on a plane--which is a fear of mine--with the help of some Xanax. 

I hope there's some sort of bright side to your situation. :rose:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, LoneSquirrel said:

This has to do with the friend you were going to meet?  I'm sorry things didn't turn out the way you'd hoped, hocico.  :console:

When I was in my 20's, I fell in love with a guy who lived many states away.  I wound up flying to meet him, and it turned out to be a disappointing trip.  He didn't feel the same way for me.  Looking back on it, I'm not sure he was capable of really loving anyone at the time.  On the bright side, I did get my butt on a plane--which is a fear of mine--with the help of some Xanax. 

I hope there's some sort of bright side to your situation. :rose:

Thank you, I found your words oddly calming when I read them, you're posts always feel really heartfelt and genuinely caring :smile:

Yes it was a post regarding meeting my friend yesterday, it's ok LS :hugs:, she was just the same in person as she was on the net so there was no problem there, actually she was more amazing  it was more a question of timing. I realised that the basis for how I feel about her holds true, then I discover that I am just a little too late to act on how I feel (what made it worse was that it was a matter of a few days) so I am kicking myself. Mind you it has happened a few times before, so I am getting used to the feeling. 

Perhaps there is a bright side to the situation that I will see with time, right now thought I just have the same feeling inside that I did when the realization hit me that I was getting divorced. 

6 hours ago, Mikayla said:

Aw, I've been curious but expected only a positive outcome. Next time. :console:

:hugs:thank you kind M :smile: it's ok it was quite a fun day, but realising that my feelings for her were the same in person and then finding out it was too late has left me feeling totally crushed. 

Edited by hocico
Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 hours ago, sober4life said:

I love her so much though.  All I do really is cry over her.  My love for her has always just been pain.

I'm sorry, sober.

I haven't dated anyone in the past 5 years because of the heartbreak I felt when the love of my life broke up with me.  It's still painful to me, even after all this time.  I don't know how to get over him.  I guess maybe I need to get my s*** together and then put myself back out on the market?  I don't know.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 hours ago, hocico said:

Thank you, I found your words oddly calming when I read them, you're posts always feel really heartfelt and genuinely caring :smile:

Yes it was a post regarding meeting my friend yesterday, it's ok LS :hugs:, she was just the same in person as she was on the net so there was no problem there, actually she was more amazing  it was more a question of timing. I realised that the basis for how I feel about her holds true, then I discover that I am just a little too late to act on how I feel (what made it worse was that it was a matter of a few days) so I am kicking myself. Mind you it has happened a few times before, so I am getting used to the feeling. 

Perhaps there is a bright side to the situation that I will see with time, right now thought I just have the same feeling inside that I did when the realization hit me that I was getting divorced. 

I feel bad that you have to go through this, hocico.  You're a kind, caring and upbeat person, and it bugs me to know you've been hurt.

I hope you're able to grieve and then put it behind you.  :console:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...