Jump to content

What's On Your Mind Right Now?


Recommended Posts

A fight my husband and I had last night. Something he said about an error I made really, really angered me. 

I'm trying to let it go...we did talk about and it's still on my mind...I do love him and although I can see his point--I made the mistake (a directional one) with good intentions and faulty knowledge--I was more mad that he felt he had to tell me. I mean, I knew I had made a mistake and apologized to people about it when it was apparent I was wrong.  I think he felt he had to needle me about it for some reason...and the reason is...and I told him what I thought, was that it had embarrassed him that his wife had made a stupid mistake.

If I could take back the entire night, I would.

Oh well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wish I could sleep all day today, but I shouldn't. I was sleeping when my dad called to remind me to babysit my mom tomorrow while he takes my sister to the doctor. Her memory is bad, and she keeps trying to leave the house on her own, so someone needs to stay with her. My dad hasn't let her drive since she tapped another car weeks ago. So she's been trying to walk to the store which is bad. For one, it's hot and humid as hell here this time of year in Florida. Also, they live off of a main road that has lots of traffic and drivers here can be crazy. Also, because of her memory problems, she gets confused and could easily get lost and not be able to find her way back herself. She's been having noticeable memory problems for a while, bu they seem to be getting worse recently. So I'm nervous about her trying to sneak off or doing anything "off" (like throwing her dirty clothes in the dryer with soap, for one example of something my dad says she does now) while I'm watching her.

I have to make a couple more phone calls today and I'm dreading them like the plague. Why is it so hard for me? Why doesn't it get easier with age? I feel sick in the pit of my stomach every time I have to make a phone call. Every single time. I try to think of any excuse to postpone it, which is how I get myself into trouble.

On top of that, I have cramps and I feel -10 on an energy scale. Like I said, I just want to sleep. I want the whole world to go away and just let me sleep for a milion years.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I.m sterile and barren. I have no creativity at all. So I'm just going to post lyrics:

 

nobodies right if everybodies wrong
you can't see white if you won't see black
empty shell
shallow skull
your fight lost
theres no other way
i'm held back
wake
i'm held back
but i'm awake
the body sleeps as the mind destroys
i'm not you
never-will
i'm not you
never be free
i'm held back
wake

(Godflesh:Wake)

My  upliftimg sentiments of the day.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Having weird dreams lately.  Lately ones with my mom and dad prominently in them.  They seem so real and alive, but unfortunately they both have passed.  But their frequent appearances in my dreams make me wonder if they are preparing me for something.  I can't really interpret dreams.  Maybe one of you can?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 minutes ago, highanxiety said:

Having weird dreams lately.  Lately ones with my mom and dad prominently in them.  They seem so real and alive, but unfortunately they both have passed.  But their frequent appearances in my dreams make me wonder if they are preparing me for something.  I can't really interpret dreams.  Maybe one of you can?

It can mean that your sub-conscious is in need of reassurance or just a familiar comfort to get you through a tough time. When I dream of my dad (he knocked on my door and tried to tell me something, his mouth was moving but no sound came out) I was really struggling and I like to think that he (my psyche or something) was trying to reassure me that my dad actually loved me despite what I thought because I had doubts when he was alive. Another strange thing is the house he visited me in my dream was a combination of every house we lived in growing up. These rooms were where I felt safe. I'm no expert but the mind has a way of bringing things to the foreground. You as a person are both of them combined into one awesome package and in a way they are still and always will be with you. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I remember this one moment I had, I guess I was looking really depressed, and this guy comes up to me close and starts smiling and dancing in front of me. Like, what the hell, can you go ahead and be weird to someone else? I really wanted to punch him, but there were a lot of people there. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

... About why it's so hard for to connect with others. You ever get that left out feeling when you're with a group of friends? Or whenever you try to get in on a conversation only to be ignored and overlooked. It always happens to me all the time. 

That and I've been having pent up struggles with loneliness and trying to ignore feeling lonely... like I have been trying to ignore  that part of me that longs for company. Yet days pass and that feelings of loneliness haunts me. I hope I can find better ways of coping to be a loner where i don't desire to be around others.

Just penting out stress... honestly more or less.

 

Edited by Aki Sky
Typo
Link to comment
Share on other sites

20 hours ago, ColdFire said:

One thing that makes me happy is that I always meet the most amazing people on here. :icon12:

and one of them is you buddy, despite what your self talk might tell you, you are a clever, caring and genuinely funny guy :happy:

Edited by hocico
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...