What's On Your Mind Right Now?

[Tungsten Aromatics]

I have placed a bid for council housing in a town an hour away on the bus from work. I'm for ever hopeful that I will get the place. I'm still in position one for it so maybe...

[Cupcake_girl]

I hope I get this part time job

Did you got it?

[havehope]

This morning... regret.

[AngelWingz]

It's my birthday! I'm basically thinking about the past year I've had. I hope and pray that year 39 will be much better!

[havehope]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AngelWingz!!!! Hope it's a blessed day for you today! Here's to a brighter year ahead! :)

 

 

 

 

:present:

Edited December 4, 2015 by havehope

[Kaniro]

I'm so tired.  I'm never not tired.  I could eat better and feel better but food is a major crutch for me right now.

[Els1e]

I'm so awkward, boring and just plain annoying.

I need to go for a "how to be cool" class or "how to be interesting so that people will actually stay" class.

 

You are very cool anita (you'd be even cooler with blue hair haha - sorry peer pressure   ). You've never been in the least bit annoying or boring. 

 

Oh I loved your other language (was it in Indonesian?) post. No idea what it said, but I can't speak any other languages & I'm jealous. 

[anita_123]

I'm so awkward, boring and just plain annoying.

I need to go for a "how to be cool" class or "how to be interesting so that people will actually stay" class.

Hi Anita, one social trick is to ask people about themselves.. people always love to talk about themselves, so the more interested in them you become, the more interesting you become, and the more likable. Trust me, even just asking how their day was, what's going on for them at work, at home, or anything you can think of that shows interest in them. You'll be surprised at how much you can engage people in conversation when you get them talking about themselves. Now this doesn't show the stereotypical "coolness" necessarily, but it does show a level of sociability that people really like and gravitate towards. You don't have to be "cool" in order to be well liked and engaging with people. Hugs!

Ah thank you HH!!!!!! :D I've never really thought about that! Making friends here I comeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[anita_123]

I'm so awkward, boring and just plain annoying.

I need to go for a "how to be cool" class or "how to be interesting so that people will actually stay" class.

You are very cool anita (you'd be even cooler with blue hair haha - sorry peer pressure ). You've never been in the least bit annoying or boring.

Oh I loved your other language (was it in Indonesian?) post. No idea what it said, but I can't speak any other languages & I'm jealous.

Once I finish school I'll try dying my hair blue :D but thank you! That really made me smile rEALLY WIDEEEEEEE.

And yes, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH the post that I regretted posting was in Bahasa Indonesia :D You can always learn through online (aka I can teach u) and it'll be cool to converse in another language ;P

Thanks Els1e!!! You always seem to make my day!!!!! (((Hugs)))

And of course HH too!!!!!

y'all so sweet I cry :')

[ladybug2730]

Well I've tried another medication that just made me worse so I quit after 2 weeks. I'm done with medication; I haven't been on one yet that worked for more than a few months. I remember when I first went on Effexor I felt like a dark cloud that had been hovering over me had lifted. It only lasted a few weeks and was gone. Now my latest psychiatrist says she definitely thinks I have uni-polar? It's like bipolar but I don't have the highs just the lows? *** sounds like depression to me. So she gave me lamectil which I wouldn't take when I read the side effects, then trileptal which after two weeks make me seriously suicidal to where I was googling the best and most effective place to shoot yourself.

 

I've come to the conclusion that nothing is going to help me, not any medication, not any therapy. This is just the way it is going to be for the rest of my life. I'm just hoping since I have had cancer twice that my life won't last much longer.

 

I'm not doing anybody in this world any good. I just want to be left alone. I put my cell phone on Do Not Disturb so I don't have to speak to anyone. I was going to put my Christmas tree up over the weekend (mainly for my granddaughter) but then changed my mind.

 

I hate myself, I hate my life.

Edited December 7, 2015 by ladybug2730

[Epictetus]

Pythagorean stuff.  How mathematics and logic touch on eternal truths, how the human animal can intuit eternal truths, how unimaginable things like mathematical equations, perfect circles and such are so useful in physics, chemistry and all the other sciences and technology, how I feel like I have one foot in time and one foot in eternity and the mysteriousness of that . . . Pythagorean stuff. 

[Kaniro]

My hand keeps falling asleep.  I wish my mother would go sleep in her bed instead of taking up 90% of the couch to sleep here.  I can't relax before work with her here.

[havehope]

I don't think I'm getting fired from my job -- my boss just gave me a new ongoing task so that would seem to indicate she intends to keep me on. So irritating though that she still has not responded to my message about wanting to talk about some issues that are making my job and morale difficult. I guess she's ignoring it. I don't know what to do, except to look for another job after I take this course. I need to get going on it asap. Sigh.

[Epictetus]

What I'm thinking is how strangely comforting mathematical platonism is. 

[anita_123]

I don't think I'm getting fired from my job -- my boss just gave me a new ongoing task so that would seem to indicate she intends to keep me on. So irritating though that she still has not responded to my message about wanting to talk about some issues that are making my job and morale difficult. I guess she's ignoring it. I don't know what to do, except to look for another job after I take this course. I need to get going on it asap. Sigh.

I pray that things get better, HH! (((Hugs)))

[anita_123]

My mom found out that I had been on this forum for months and she made me promise not to come back ever again and I tried. I visited the forum less and less, I stopped posting about my feelings and at most I just read posts. I couldn't do it. I felt lonelier ever since. I felt like I wasn't able to express my feelings anywhere else.

I hate change. I wished it was a couple months ago where I still had my best friend whom I secretly might have........fell in love but I'm still getting over it. It's so different now because we don't ever talk anymore and it changed in just a day where he stopped replying. I felt so much regret because for the past 2-3 years I pushed him away thinking he would always come back. He would always text me when I don't reply in a couple of hours, he would ask me if I was angry if my mood wasn't right. But most importantly, he made me smile. I hate change because back then my circle of friends were so much bigger and now I could count the number of trusted friends just with my 10 fingers.

I'm so pathetic, lmao. I seriously need to move on.

[havehope]

Hi Anita, thanks so much for the prayers! I need them.. your message is much appreciated!! :)

 

As for your mom... I may have missed a post but why on earth would she ask you to stop coming to the forum? A place of comfort and support for you? I do hope you stay!!

 

And I'm so sorry about your male friend.. that does hurt. I know it's very painful to have friends leave in your life, and it is a loss to be mourned... but do remember that you have trusted friends still, and that's still a blessing. ((((Hugs))))

[havehope]

What's on my mind right at this very moment is how completely exhausted and depleted I am from trying so hard in my job. It's a battle, it's a chore, it's draining me, it's ******* me.....

 

Trying to get my boss to value my input and utilize my expertise and knowledge I think is going to be the death of me soon....  and I haven't been taking good care of myself as a result.

 

My next job has got to be better, or I don't know if I can make it.... I can't handle this anymore.  Bully, tyrant bosses..... wish I could just be my own boss. I tried that once and failed though. I tried to be an online entrepreneur, had visions of making 10K per month online, and failed miserably after 8 solid months of effort.

 

Maybe I need to become a consultant again and have my own clients. Then I could be my own boss. But then you don't get company benefits like paid vacations, sick days or holidays even. It's a tradeoff.

 

I feel like I just can't win no matter what I do. :(

[JD4010]

my job is draining, but I just had a 1/2 hour chat with my boss and it was positive. I was able to answer the questions he had. That gave my confidence a little boost.

[Epictetus]

some ideas from the philosophy of mathematics are sort of tumbling around in my mind right now. 

[law055car]

lots of work to do at work and if I am going to take a break.

Need to stop getting so much over time 9.5 hour work days with maybe a 5 minute break is getting to me.

[havehope]

I can't work today.... my mind has an enormous block, like it stopped working suddenly. Maybe I'm completely burned out.

[Nissala]

Question in my case should be "What's NOT on your might right now?!"

[hocico]

That people on here might be worrying about me and wondering if I am ok

as I wandered off for ages again, so here I am to alay any fears and just to say

that I am doing ok, have picked myself up a little after the rejection of late

and that I missed you guys and girls very much

Edited December 11, 2015 by hocico

[hocico]

My mom found out that I had been on this forum for months and she made me promise not to come back ever again and I tried. I visited the forum less and less, I stopped posting about my feelings and at most I just read posts. I couldn't do it. I felt lonelier ever since. I felt like I wasn't able to express my feelings anywhere else.

I hate change. I wished it was a couple months ago where I still had my best friend whom I secretly might have........fell in love but I'm still getting over it. It's so different now because we don't ever talk anymore and it changed in just a day where he stopped replying. I felt so much regret because for the past 2-3 years I pushed him away thinking he would always come back. He would always text me when I don't reply in a couple of hours, he would ask me if I was angry if my mood wasn't right. But most importantly, he made me smile. I hate change because back then my circle of friends were so much bigger and now I could count the number of trusted friends just with my 10 fingers.

I'm so pathetic, lmao. I seriously need to move on.

 

No you're not pathetic for having feelings, I feel the same way except I am looking in from the other end of the telescope

as the guy who was too availiable and not enough of a challenge.