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The Anxiety & Over Stimulation Vent Thread!


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I feel like I have two types of over stimulation, the type where I worry about everything, and then type where sensory "things" become too much for me. I am very noise sensitive, hate particular sounds, and don't know how people can do things like have the TV on low (still audible) but also be listening to music on their laptop. Hello? How do they not go mad? It's all right, I will for them! Both types completely suck. Vent over.

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I have a weird voice. It sounds like a kid even though I'm 30. I really don't want to talk to people, even my family. To make it worse my family yells that they can't hear me, it's really embarrassing in public. I don't want to talk at all any more.

That's not nice for your family to do at all. I know this won't change how you feel about your voice, but different voices add character and can be cute (like actress Jennifer Tilly! Love her). IMDB lists one of her trademarks as "breathy, little girl voice." That sounds insulting, but people love her distinct voice. I'd be surprised if she was never insecure about it at any point.

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I have a weird voice. It sounds like a kid even though I'm 30. I really don't want to talk to people, even my family. To make it worse my family yells that they can't hear me, it's really embarrassing in public. I don't want to talk at all any more.

I dislike my voice a lot too, Teddy. It's really high and kid-like for a 20-year-old male, and pretty much every time I speak to someone I feel self-conscious and embarrassed. It makes me talk lower as well, so I just mumble sometimes, making it hard for people to hear me, which is probably frustrating for them.

I'm sorry your family isn't helping the situation at all...

It's hard to learn to like accept or like something about yourself when you are depressed and disheartened by others as well.

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHHHHHHHH

My ears are so sensitive but I still have trouble sorting people's voices over the phone. Ear/brain connection is a bit off. So I need to do a bunch of phone calls next week. :( Hoping I'll find a spare bottle of my anxiety meds first.

At least there are no florescent lights on the phone versus in person. :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Argh...I just wrote a long post on my situation but it got deleted in an error...basically it was:

Introvert. New job. Very social office. Shared space. Random talking all day. Too much. Can never talk enough. Not enough. Help!!! Leave? Exhausted. Not sociable, no hope for career. How to cope?

Edited by cassis_creme
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Argh...I just wrote a long post on my situation but it got deleted in an error...basically it was:

Introvert. New job. Very social office. Shared space. Random talking all day. Too much. Can never talk enough. Not enough. Help!!! Leave? Exhausted. Not sociable, no hope for career. How to cope?

I don't think you have no hope for a career just because you are an introvert. Even when I am not depressed/anxious, I am an "outgoing introvert". Meaning, I have some outgoing qualities (can talk for hours, and A LOT, with people I know well. Can put on an extroverted facade for a little while with the general public), but ultimately need my space at the end of the day. A significant amount of space and alone time, actually, and even hate the phone during those times. I also hate small talk and most office chatter. I realize now that I thrive in a position where I may be expected to be social and interact with clients/the public, and can do that well, but also have time to retreat into myself/my work and do not have to small talk all day. I am sure a balance exists for you out there, too, even if it is a job with even less interaction with the public than my ideal scenario.

Is it feasible for you to leave the job if it is too much? If not, could you look for a different job while you stick it out? When I worked in an office with a bunch of chatty women, I did force myself to make some small talk with them, but was seen as a "workaholic" because I would find every excuse possible to absorb myself in a task. Oh, the paper's running low, better fill the printer! There's a report? I'd better go over it! Anything to avoid too much small talk, and keeping busy kept anxious thoughts away as well.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Today near dinner time was just horrific... for no reason at all to feel panicked (thankfully no one was near). I was simply just cutting up some lettuce and my chest starts to flutter. I've now taken notice of it, and try to ignore but we all know how that goes. You know it's happening, so what else to do than to worry about worrying? A few minutes later my stomach decides to join in on the party, so I'm struggling to stand and keep it together without randomly breaking down. So, it was basic hell to just get some leaves sliced, that's always nice. Continued on for about 15 minutes (I "won" in the end!), and after that it was 'thinking time'.

It's weird, I'm not the sort of person to cry honestly. Or maybe I've just driven that thought into my head, hmm.

And breathing doesn't help me.. however I may have been doing it wrong, but I tried to calm myself down that way and nada.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am not good at making friends and that compounds my already pretty bad general anxiety. I'm trying very hard to get out of my comfort zone and find ways to make more friends, but nothing ever seems to work. Why doesn't it work?! I don't understand, I don't get it. I wish I could just be comfortable and confident so my stomach wouldn't be in knots constantly.

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hate not having the option to ocassionally bow out of work events that push me over the edge. sometimes I think if I felt like I had a choice, it would make it easier to deal with. workshops, children's programs, multi-day conferences are all nauseating nightmares that leave me wishing I could have a heart attack to get out of it.

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Argh...I just wrote a long post on my situation but it got deleted in an error...basically it was:

Introvert. New job. Very social office. Shared space. Random talking all day. Too much. Can never talk enough. Not enough. Help!!! Leave? Exhausted. Not sociable, no hope for career. How to cope?

I don't think you have no hope for a career just because you are an introvert. Even when I am not depressed/anxious, I am an "outgoing introvert". Meaning, I have some outgoing qualities (can talk for hours, and A LOT, with people I know well. Can put on an extroverted facade for a little while with the general public), but ultimately need my space at the end of the day. A significant amount of space and alone time, actually, and even hate the phone during those times. I also hate small talk and most office chatter. I realize now that I thrive in a position where I may be expected to be social and interact with clients/the public, and can do that well, but also have time to retreat into myself/my work and do not have to small talk all day. I am sure a balance exists for you out there, too, even if it is a job with even less interaction with the public than my ideal scenario.

Is it feasible for you to leave the job if it is too much? If not, could you look for a different job while you stick it out? When I worked in an office with a bunch of chatty women, I did force myself to make some small talk with them, but was seen as a "workaholic" because I would find every excuse possible to absorb myself in a task. Oh, the paper's running low, better fill the printer! There's a report? I'd better go over it! Anything to avoid too much small talk, and keeping busy kept anxious thoughts away as well.

It's absolutely true that there are plenty of introverts who thrive when engaging with people and doing people-related tasks...sadly, I am not one of them. I'm the kind of introvert that loves being around people, going to events (festivals, music, etc.), exploring, traveling, and experiencing new things...and can even handle reasonable crowds (love the people-watching)...all in moderation, of course...but having to make small talk in an intimate group of strangers or colleagues that can never really be friends for eight hours a day? Extremely draining. Feels like walking on a tightrope all.the.time. I usually see the description of introvert as someone who loves deep, intimate conversations and I do if they are with someone I know very well and/or trust (read: not someone who is going to blurt out "why are you so quiet??" even when I'm trying to put on the lively, sociable act) and/or they are about topics that I really care about. I don't know if I could ever talk for hours and my greatest moments of joy in life have either involved relaxing on my own...in silence, travel/sightseeing on my own (e.g.- go on a trip without a group that requires constant small talk like "oh, what do you do? Are you married??" etc.)...in silence...getting down on the dance floor...in silence, or working independently...in...silence. Silence being me not talking or feeling any pressure to talk.

Unfortunately, I'm in a generation that seems to equate success with maintaining a personality cult of some sort (we all have to have a "personal brand") and doing at least three things that just reading about makes my introverted self feel exhausted (Blog profile: "I'm a pastry chef, the owner of an independent online jewelry shop, a film producer, a lawyer, a wife, a yoga enthusiast and the mother of three lovely boys and twelve dogs!"). If you don't have a marketable life story and enough social energy to sell-sell-sell it, you're toast...at least if your goal is the typical success. You cannot be diligent and trustworthy and have an outstanding career...a strong one, maybe, but not outstanding. One of the biggest mistakes that I've made in life is choosing fields of study based on the idea of doing certain work (e.g.- creative careers, non-profits, policy etc.)...rather than thinking about how the day-to-day life of working in those fields may not be feasible for someone with my temperament. I'm working very hard to remedy this now, but it comes with a lot of temptations.

For instance, I ended up leaving the job situation I posted about a few weeks in and am now considering another possible position that, while much closer to the substantive work that I would like to be doing, still emphasizes a very active and social environment. I'm also looking very seriously at telecommuting, maybe even full-time. Then I could preserve my social energy for networking events, professional development, evening classes, etc. I wouldn't have to worry about whether or not declining the office after-work bar invitation once again is damaging my career; instead, I would simply arrange to go out when my energy levels are amenable to the task at hand. But if a job offer comes through, I have a dilemma: do I take something because it's on offer and hope for the best? Or do I stay out and fight for a balanced, temperamentally supportive life, even with the financial risks involved? I can't keep leaving jobs...

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

So today there is a girl who used to be my best friend and is now almost my arch enemy I feel like.  She stole my iPod.  Im at lunch in the counslers office.  I am having horrible anxiety right now cause I saw her ranting over me and probably starting rumors and all that crap.  Im really scared.  She is such a little Biotch and I just can't stand her being in my life.  I want there to be a way to get rid of her completely from my life, but that obviously would be hard, especially since were in the same grade. Especially with the same friends, classes, and lunch..  I just want to have some time to just get rid of her. Maybe a week. More like forever, but in reality thats impossible.  I just pray that she isn't planning on beating me up, since I know she can do that.  I overheard her saying "I dont care she is..." and thats all I heard.  Just seeing a crowd of girls ranting over me? And not knowing what to do? That is very hard.  High school sometimes makes me wanna explode.  UGH I have been having very fast heart beats the past 10 minutes and racing thoughts.  Im terrified.

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So today there is a girl who used to be my best friend and is now almost my arch enemy I feel like.  She stole my iPod.  Im at lunch in the counslers office.  I am having horrible anxiety right now cause I saw her ranting over me and probably starting rumors and all that crap.  Im really scared.  She is such a little Biotch and I just can't stand her being in my life.  I want there to be a way to get rid of her completely from my life, but that obviously would be hard, especially since were in the same grade. Especially with the same friends, classes, and lunch..  I just want to have some time to just get rid of her. Maybe a week. More like forever, but in reality thats impossible.  I just pray that she isn't planning on beating me up, since I know she can do that.  I overheard her saying "I dont care she is..." and thats all I heard.  Just seeing a crowd of girls ranting over me? And not knowing what to do? That is very hard.  High school sometimes makes me wanna explode.  UGH I have been having very fast heart beats the past 10 minutes and racing thoughts.  Im terrified.

Are you OK? Please tell someone if you are afraid of being assaulted or if you are being bullied. 

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