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Excruicating Weekends


ipulkit

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I somehow make it to the office during weekdays. Days go by and the dreaded weekend arrives. I get up on a saturday not even in the mood to go poop or brush my teeth. I just keep sitting in bed thinking about how miserable my life has gotten and how i am disappointing mom and dad.

They seek help in small chores or jobs to visit nearby market. I just decline everything. My parents expect me to get married in a year or two and that panics me.

After being depressed for 6 years. From being a daily masurbator, i have become someone who has no interest in porn or anything sexual, at all. I don't even care to look at a good girl passing by.

My girlfriend of 3 years got fed up of my depression and abandoned me.

Who in their right mind would want to get married to someone like me ? And if they do, that will be like ruining another life.

How long until i get normal, its so painful, dissapointing your loved ones and seeing some friend or the other getting married everyday on facebook. I would never be happy like them anyday.

I jus want to die.

Edited by ipulkit
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Please hold on and please do call someone before you make any decisions. It sounds like you are putting too many expectations on yourself based on what you think other people think. The truth is you can only live for you. What you want is all that matters. Are you in therapy at all? I think it might help you to sort out your thoughts and help you find a direction to go in. In any event, try not to worry about whether you are or are not disappointing anyone and make your mental health and happiness your top priority. Seek out help if you are unable to find your way on your own. None of this is easy. Take care. I send you hope and love.

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What is normal? I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to be "normal" when weird is wonderful. You sound really down right now and all I can tell you is just hang on, it might not be easy but you just have to get by minute by minute if thats all you can manage. You also sound lonely and that I can relate to for sure, even being married I feel so lonely it hurts. Life is painful but it can be beautiful too, don't give up.

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Why do your parents expect you to get married within the next 2yrs? Is it a cultural/religious thing?

Most of my friends got married young. I am now 28 and 90% percent of my friends that got married are either divorced or in the process. My friends weddings looked perfect, their lives looked perfect....but when I would sit down with them alone, they had the same problems as me, if not more problems and issues that were worse!

My point is, it is good to wait (you are only 26!) and concentrate on yourself and getting to a place where you feel more confident instead of rushing into, or trying to make a marriage work.

It seems like you are good at self introspection and thoughtful about the path your life is taking. This will help you make the right decisions in the future about picking a mate.

As for disappointing your parents...I would pose the question: "Would you rather me marry soon and get divorced in 5 years? Or wait for the right person?"

Its difficult when you feel that family members are not proud of you.

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I somehow make it to the office during weekdays. Days go by and the dreaded weekend arrives. I get up on a saturday not even in the mood to go poop or brush my teeth. I just keep sitting in bed thinking about how miserable my life has gotten and how i am disappointing mom and dad.

They seek help in small chores or jobs to visit nearby market. I just decline everything. My parents expect me to get married in a year or two and that panics me.

After being depressed for 6 years. From being a daily masurbator, i have become someone who has no interest in porn or anything sexual, at all. I don't even care to look at a good girl passing by.

My girlfriend of 3 years got fed up of my depression and abandoned me.

Who in their right mind would want to get married to someone like me ? And if they do, that will be like ruining another life.

How long until i get normal, its so painful, dissapointing your loved ones and seeing some friend or the other getting married everyday on facebook. I would never be happy like them anyday.

I jus want to die.

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. This is a great place to be yourself and say what's on your mind. Have you considered talking with a counselor? Please be patient and give yourself some grace. You are certainly not alone in your struggles. HUGS!

~Ducktapetherapy77

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