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TheDuke

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I've only made a few posts on here but every time you guys have been so supportive and encouraging.

I've realized I'm not as strong as I thought. When things get too tough I want to quit. I want to give up, I can't handle things not working out like I want them to. You do. But I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I fail to be optimistic

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I can't speak for anyone else but I definitely have a hard time when things don't go as I want (and/or plan) for them to. I am much kinder, and more supportive, towards others here than I am towards myself. But I am working on that, slowly. I think it comes with the depression territory. Don't be too hard on yourself; it's really hard to see anything positive when things are like this. Sometimes I wonder whether there is just something fundamentally wrong with me, and me alone. But then I come here, and realize everybody is going through a similar struggle.

Edited by neurotic_lady89

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I am sorry you're feeling defeated, TheDuke. Depression can be relentlessly brutal and I can empathize with what you're going through (what we are all going through, when you cut to the bone).

I want to share some song lyrics with you. This is a song that I try to play (or recall) when I start feeling like just throwing in the towel. I hope you may find some glimmer of hope/and or inspiration in these lines.

Peace,

Tim

"We Hold On"

How many times

Do we tire of all the little battles

Threaten to call it quits

Tempted to cut and run

How many times

Do we weather out the stormy evenings

Long to slam the front door

Drive away into the setting sun

Keep going on till dawn

How many times must another line be drawn

We could be down and gone

But we hold on

How many times

Do we chaff against the repetition

Straining against the faith

Measured out in coffee breaks

How many times

Do we swallow our ambition

Long to give up the same old way

Find another road to take

Keep holding on so long

Cause there's a chance that we might not be so wrong

We could be down and gone

But we hold on

How many times

Do we wonder if it's even worth it

There's got to be some other way

Way to get me through the day

Keep going on till dawn

How many times must another line be drawn

We could be down and gone

But we hold on

(Rush/Snakes & Arrows)

Music by Lee & Lifeson

Lyrics by Peart

Edited by LonelyHiker

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I've only made a few posts on here but every time you guys have been so supportive and encouraging.

I've realized I'm not as strong as I thought. When things get too tough I want to quit. I want to give up, I can't handle things not working out like I want them to. You do. But I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I fail to be optimistic

Hi TheDuke,

I don't always handle things well either. But this past summer I was evaluated for among other things, ADD. In the psychologist's summary, she noted that I had a bleak outlook on life and tended to blame other people for things that had gone wrong.

That really socked me in the gut to read. eep! I realized this was a fair assessment and I try not to do too much blaming, but rather to see where I can take responsibility, if I can.

But no, I don't always handle things well if they don't work out for me. But I try to practice it and hope to get better at it.

I think you have a lot of self-knowledge, TheDuke and even if you're not feeling optimistic, your self awareness has to count for something. And there are people on this forum who are amazing in what they've accomplished for themselves.

I'm glad you've found your way here.

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Do not in any way shape or form be hard on yourself. We all have struggled immensely with our own depression. Like Neurotic Lady said it is much easier to be compassionate towards others than towards ourselves. I think they say that depressed people make the most compassionate people towards others because we get it. I know for me I am really good at putting on a mask so no one can see the truth. But looks can be deceiving. I know when I am in the throws of the dark side of depression all I want is for the pain to stop. I just want it to end because it feels like it will never end and I feel like the weakest person on the planet. I have cried so much these past three years I could fill a small lake or at least a good sized pond. I cry about everything. Right now I am in the middle of some intense regret feeling a lot of would have, could have should, have and trying to not turn on myself. It's a process that takes time with a lot of ups and downs. We all struggle so just be kind to yourself if you can.

Edited by Michelle38

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I can only speak for myself but I don't handle things well, I procrastinate a LOT and I give up fairly easily.

I just try to get through each day but I never really achieve that I want to achieve. All any of us can do is take each day as it comes and try to make the best of it. I find it helps if you try and leave any guilt behind otherwise it's just a cycle of feeling guilty, feeling bad, not getting much done then feeling worst the next day.

Take care Duke

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