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Helping A Friend Who Is Depressed, When You're Depressed


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Just going to vent here where friend in question can't see it. But basically, whenever I talk to a depressed person IRL for an extended period of time, I realize how difficult we are to deal with.

It's like pouring water into a bottomless pit. No matter how long you talk to them, no matter what you say, they/we remain miserable. I've just about run out of things to say to this friend, I've told them everything in my arsenal plus stuff I know has worked for other people.

Ugh, the self-loathing I feel right now. Every time I listen to someone else, I feel guilty for all the friends for whom I've done the "life is miserable and everything sucks" routine.

No need to reply, just venting ://

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It is not your fault your friend is depressed, it is not your fault that you can't save them and it is not your fault that your brain is wired for this. It is not just a pity party. We are not doing any of this on purpose. No need for guilt. Just use this experience as a way to try and be more mindful of the thoughts you can work to turn around. The last thing you want to do is beat yourself up. You will just wind up causing yourself to sink deeper. Depression is extremely challenging, no bones about it. Be gentle.

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