Jump to content

Is Depression/anxiety Forever? (Your Experiences)


sloTJ

Recommended Posts

Hello everyone. Ive been posting a lot lately to really vent because im going through a lot with all of this and my general health feeling so blah all the time. Im only 22 and have been struggling with depression and generally an unwell feeling for about 3+ years. Trying different meds and just feeling discouraged. Im on my first day of buproprion xl 150mg and going off my old friend and enemy zoloft. My head hurts quite bad and im very drained/fatigued.

For me, depression has effected me with a general feeling of fatigue constantly with headaches and head pressure daily. Other things ive noticed are feeling very mentally slow forgetful and worry of losing my mind, and more recently extreme worry of health issues and anxiety and anxiety attacks. These were made worse when trying lexapro which i quit for zoloft a second time as it worked ok for me in the past for over a year. This time around I was feeling like a zombie at the 100mg and have totally lost all motivation and excitement so I am here with generic welbutrin now...

Id like to know from anyone and everyone if you think that depression and anxiety can be beaten and that I could live my once healthy life again? Instead of feeling like a trapped victim to depression at my young age. Have any of you been successful at doing this and living a normal life once again. Im sick of thinking that at this young my life is ruined and destined to decay. Im sick of worrying that ill end up with dementia or a brain tumor or something horrible and that meds are not helping me in the long run. Tell of your tale and what you think of my questions please. Thanks and stay strong.

-TJ

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it varies from person to person whether it goes away completely (I have met a few depressed or anxious people like this) or if it goes into remission, but still exists. I am 25 and have had anxiety/panic for 18 years and depression for roughly 13 years. That doesn't mean that I was depressed or felt too anxious to function the entire time, though. I have had good months, good years even, where I felt no depression and only occasional anxiety and panic. The past 2-3 years have been horrendous with depression lasting (in varying degrees) the entire time, and some periods of terrible anxiety, so more often than not I forget what I'm telling you, that YES it is very possible to feel better.

I didn't have additional anxiety/panic the first time I was on Lexapro, but going on the med again... I can relate to very bad experiences with Lexapro along with SSRIs acting differently the second time around. I wonder why this happens.

Let us know how the Wellbutrin goes! I find it is more helpful than SSRIs for the lack of energy and motivation that depression give me, but notice I need something else with it personally because Wellbutrin is not a treatment for anxiety (Don't panic, sometimes when people stop feeling depressed they also feel less anxious. If that's not the case for you. talk to your doc.) OK all rambling aside, you are young and haven't exhausted all treatment options and meds out there. Neither have I. It is, again, very possible for you to feel much better and able to cope than you are right now.

- Christina

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Even though I have it I can't really speak that much about anxiety, but like depression I imagine its also something that can be cured over time; however, I still don't like the whole "it's temporary" response that most people give to depression. The problem with this is like neurotic lady says, it varies from person to person so you could live to be 80 and suffer from depression from like 20-70. I, like you, have been in this for 3+ years, but I realized quickly after the first year that this was the new me and that I would be this depressed the rest of my life unless I wanted to just be purposefully ignorant of certain worldly truths. That being said, anything is possible with a positive attitude so you never knew you might come out of it one day just like that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it varies from person to person whether it goes away completely (I have met a few depressed or anxious people like this) or if it goes into remission, but still exists. I am 25 and have had anxiety/panic for 18 years and depression for roughly 13 years. That doesn't mean that I was depressed or felt too anxious to function the entire time, though. I have had good months, good years even, where I felt no depression and only occasional anxiety and panic. The past 2-3 years have been horrendous with depression lasting (in varying degrees) the entire time, and some periods of terrible anxiety, so more often than not I forget what I'm telling you, that YES it is very possible to feel better.

I didn't have additional anxiety/panic the first time I was on Lexapro, but going on the med again... I can relate to very bad experiences with Lexapro along with SSRIs acting differently the second time around. I wonder why this happens.

Let us know how the Wellbutrin goes! I find it is more helpful than SSRIs for the lack of energy and motivation that depression give me, but notice I need something else with it personally because Wellbutrin is not a treatment for anxiety (Don't panic, sometimes when people stop feeling depressed they also feel less anxious. If that's not the case for you. talk to your doc.) OK all rambling aside, you are young and haven't exhausted all treatment options and meds out there. Neither have I. It is, again, very possible for you to feel much better and able to cope than you are right now.

- Christina

Thank you for the time. So if you're on meds now do you think that you will always need to be from this point on in your life? And is it better to stay on them forever or be off and deal with everything head on?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Even though I have it I can't really speak that much about anxiety, but like depression I imagine its also something that can be cured over time; however, I still don't like the whole "it's temporary" response that most people give to depression. The problem with this is like neurotic lady says, it varies from person to person so you could live to be 80 and suffer from depression from like 20-70. I, like you, have been in this for 3+ years, but I realized quickly after the first year that this was the new me and that I would be this depressed the rest of my life unless I wanted to just be purposefully ignorant of certain worldly truths. That being said, anything is possible with a positive attitude so you never knew you might come out of it one day just like that.

I feel like everyone at some point In their lives become sad or even depressed, but that's not necessarily "depression". So you've told yourself that you will be forever depressed? Are you taking medication too?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well said by the previous posters. All I can say is the side effects of Zoloft have been minimal for me, especially in comparison to that dreadfull anxiety and depression. I've weaned off of it twice, and both times was fine for several months, and then the doom and gloom started up again, for no reason that I can think of. It wasn't temporary situational. From what I understand, and admittedly that's not saying much, it's a matter of brain chemistry, at least in my case. So I've adjusted to it, and am just thankful at this point that it's still working for me. From what I've read they can stop being effective and then begins the trial and error period with another drug.

But in answer your question, yes, it's very possible to enjoy life again, at any age and any circumstance. It may not be the life I had before, but every phase of my life has had differences. I feel pretty good these days, so I don't want to risk that by quitting the drug again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for the time. So if you're on meds now do you think that you will always need to be from this point on in your life? And is it better to stay on them forever or be off and deal with everything head on?

Right now I am on meds that aren't working (except for anti-anxiety pills on an 'as-needed' basis - those work), but I think once I find the right medication combo, I will probably need to be on medication for life or at least a long while to prevent another 3+ year depression (if possible). I don't think my illness is going anywhere besides, at best, remission. It was tough to accept that, but having years to think about it, I've come to terms. I just want to feel better and don't mind medication/therapy maintenance to stay feeling better. It's not ideal but better than feeling like this.

That's not to say, if I found the right meds, years down the right I wouldn't maybe try going off the meds anyway. I seem to enjoy playing with fire.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel like everyone at some point In their lives become sad or even depressed, but that's not necessarily "depression". So you've told yourself that you will be forever depressed? Are you taking medication too?

Its not exactly that I'm "forever depressed", its that life is depressing and so there's really no cure for that. I was on Zoloft at one point, but it made me feel almost uncaring and android like, which isn't so bad in hindsight, but I decided I would just tough it out instead of continuing with any other ADs because I don't really like the idea of my brain being tampered with as I feel that wasn't really the problem. Maybe that was the right choice maybe it wasn't, but either way I guess I now have a sense of control over it because even though its a terrible feeling eating away at me I can now accept it for what it is rather than when I just used to try to resist the depression.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am not sure if it all can be totally beaten but it can be conquered to a large degree. The first half of my life was plagued by fear and anxiety. I had some depression symptoms, moodiness and a ever present dead spot somewhere inside me but for the most part I was able to be happy at times until my stress levels at work and at home got to a crisis point. I came very close to having a nervous breakdown when I snapped in a good way. One day, like all the others, in a completely stressed out state feeling as though I was about to break a thought and feeling came over me that I was my intentions not my mistakes. At that moment I can't say that I was over anxiety but I was over the mental anguish I was putting myself in. I was suddenly OK with life. It was a very odd thing but I didn't care I was just happy to have some peace. That lasted for close to 10 years when a scary medical condition came about and I fell into a horribly severe depression afterwards. I turned on myself something fierce and spent 2 years bound and determined to annihilate myself and then another more in than out of the feelings. I am finally getting clarity and learning some things. I now see that there are some people who have brains that are wired to have stronger emotions than others. This is a big challenge because any emotion can over take us and dominate our life. If that is truly the case then we may never be totally free from having strong emotions but what we can be free from is the thinking that causes those emotions to run out of control.

I am seeing for me that there was a lot of negative self talk in the background undermining my self image and self esteem to the point when a difficult and strong emotion came about I was in a sense making the situation worse even a crisis with my inner dialogue. I have been doing a lot of soul search to get to the root of it all and it has helped tremendously. So in that regard I do think we can recover and have a happy life. We may likely always have to be mindful of our emotions but they don't have to rule our world. So in general I think it important to not just throw meds at the situation to just feel better but rather work on the inner defeating dialogue that is complicating matters dragging us down into even darker moods that can be very difficult to pull out of. I am not against meds, and I do believe it can take some time to find the right doses and combinations that work for each individual I just believe that for true happiness it can't be the only thing we do.

Ultimately I have a very questioning nature. Even as a kid the teachers would hush me (finding this is a big trigger) because I asked too many questions but it is the inquisitive mind and need for clarity that has helped me to sort it all out for myself. The biggest thing is we need to set a goal for what we want and just keep walking looking for the answers. They may not come fast but they will come but they for sure won't if we don't go looking. So will we ever get past strong emotions, we may and we may not but we can get past them controlling our world and as a result find true happiness in life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hope that at my age ill be able to go off of Wellbutrin and find my true self again, without the depression sinking back in... If one is on meds is their brain or whole person somewhat trapped by something that's helping them forever? Is it healthier to deal with your emotions and the illness or be medicated?? I want so much to know these things. I CANNOT see myself being happy with an entire lifetime ahead of me taking AD meds. I desperately want to find myself again and be free of this but others have said that depression/anxiety is an ongoing and ever worsening thing. Is this true?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, anxiety - I've had an anxiety disorder (OCD) as far as I can remember. I've been on Prozac on and off for about 7 years now. I have had MDD for about 4 years now, with 2 years and 6 months being episodes. Due to my age and other circumstances, I have been told I will have to be on medication for life. However, the benefit to the medication is that my conditions have become mild or non-existent. It's a fair trade off, I guess. I take medication to lessen the impact. Sure pills are no fun, but it's what I have to do. In fact, my doctor banned me from stopping medication, she said if I stop I'll end up in a really bad place. The few times I stopped before, I ended up in multi year battles to get help with my condition.

I have been told for many people it can resolve, and that people can relapse too, but those are things I've just been told. I haven't experienced it. Probably never will. I was told that many people should stay on the medication if they have had multiple relapses/depression over 6 months...but I'm not a doctor so I can't make that call. That is just what my psychiatrist told me when I was asking her lots of questions. So for those who want off, you should probably ask your doctor.

SSRIs and anti-anxiety meds are going to be a permanent installment in my life, but it doesn't make me less me. It just makes me a better, more functional me. I would rather feel a bit different and feel happy then to feel sad and suicidal and anxious/scared again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't know what your situation is so I would consult with your therapist about what you desire and they can inform you what is and what isn't possible for your situation. If you truly have ADD I am not sure if it is wise to be off meds. This said, I know that there is a thing called exposure therapy where you allow your emotions to come forth so you learn how to deal with them but again I would do this under the guidance and care of a doctor. I spent 2 years in full emotional meltdown mode and it is pretty harrowing but I also saw at the end of it that I did not fear my emotions. Just because the emotions and suicidal thoughts were overwhelmingly strong it didn't mean I would act on them. I proved to myself that I had restraint even if my mind was weak in its thoughts. This gave me a sense of power over my emotions that I did not have before. So I would say maybe discuss this with your doctor on your next visit and see what they have to say. But do not go off any meds without consulting them. That can actually be pretty dangerous.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hope that at my age ill be able to go off of Wellbutrin and find my true self again, without the depression sinking back in... If one is on meds is their brain or whole person somewhat trapped by something that's helping them forever? Is it healthier to deal with your emotions and the illness or be medicated?? I want so much to know these things. I CANNOT see myself being happy with an entire lifetime ahead of me taking AD meds. I desperately want to find myself again and be free of this but others have said that depression/anxiety is an ongoing and ever worsening thing. Is this true?

I think the answer to the second question, again, depends on the individual and what their doctor advises. I was told that, like a person with diabetes or heart disease, I would likely need to maintain a medication regimen for the rest of my life. If the medications make me feel worse than I do normally with anxiety/depression, they are not worth it. When the medications help, it is much MUCH better for me to be on medications than questioning my sanity on a daily basis. I'd maybe have an honest, clear, talk with your doctor about your concerns.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the answer to the second question, again, depends on the individual and what their doctor advises. I was told that, like a person with diabetes or heart disease, I would likely need to maintain a medication regimen for the rest of my life. If the medications make me feel worse than I do normally with anxiety/depression, they are not worth it. When the medications help, it is much MUCH better for me to be on medications than questioning my sanity on a daily basis. I'd maybe have an honest, clear, talk with your doctor about your concerns.

Talking to my doctor is always a good idea yes, but it seems to me most doctors will either just have you continue medication or try another. I certainly agree with you however, that if meds help a person then it would only make sense to go that way. So I wonder if a moderately depressed person would be better In the LONG TERM being on meds or off them. I'm not expecting you to answer that but just questions that I torture my brain with.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Each medication is different, so give them a try first. If your depression is situational or short term, you probably don't have to be on meds long term. But if your depression is long term, I think trying medication to feel better would be the best move!

I got lucky because Prozac has helped me from the get go, but you may have to try a bunch of different medications to get the desired effect. And with most, things tend to feel a bit wonky before you feel the benefit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have been depressed for over 40 years. I have had times where I am not depressed and times when it felt utterly helpless. I did go off meds when trying to get pregnant, but I had to go back on. I did conceive while on Prozac, went off but had to go back on in my 3rd trimester. I have been on since (18+ years) and will be for the rest of my life. About 10 years ago my p-doc had my serotonin levels and the results came back very low. Right now I feel pretty good so I will continue my meds. My new motto is "Better Living Thru Chemistry."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...