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Situational Depression And Treatment


TheDuke

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I can't wrap my mind around how situational depression can be treated.

In my case it's a specific life situation being hard, but it's more like a mental drought than an overload of stress, even if the latter is very well present.

There is nothing a therapist can say that can give me any excitement for life, for that is intrinsic. The only way I can be happy again is to fix my situation, and if I fail I don't see any reason the misery would stop

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I'm sorry. Wish I had an "answer" for you. But sadly I don't. I myself have been trapped in situations or stricken with things I could not change and I thought that those things were absolutely incompatible with any joy of life. One of those was a terrible as-yet incurable illness. But somehow, even though I could not change the situation, I was able to adapt and experience the joy of life again. I cannot give advice though. And I would not presume that everyone is capable of the same things.

I hope things get better for you and that "joy" which seems absolutely impossible makes some kind of surprise entrance into your life. I don't know what else to say. Sorry!

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I agree with Epictetus, there is no one size fits all remedy to depression. If there was we would all be cured by now. The only thing I will say is your post brought to mind something I had read. Depression aside, there are 2 types of situations we are confronted with in life. Those we can change and those we can't. In the situations where we have some control to change the circumstances a problem solving approach is appropriate. However in the situations where it becomes apparent that change is not possible then acceptance may be the route that needs to be taken. Knowing which category our situation falls under can be a bit tricky sometimes but that is the general rule of thumb in how to deal with difficult circumstances so I have read. I as well, do hope that you are able to find a solution to your dilemma.

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I'm not saying things won't get better, I know my perspective is tainted.

What triggered me to write this was reading something about "learning to accept" and it just doesn't resonate with me. Things are what they are, no matter how you feel, accept what? You know what your reality is, you may not like it. What is there to accept?

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They say the true sign of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. I don't know if that is a clear description of insanity but the idea is that if we keep doing things the same as we did before we will keep getting the same as we have gotten. Acceptance is about giving up the struggle wanting something to be different when it is not possible. It is the struggle to try and push the situation in a way that it won't go that keeps us in misery. So what you say is exactly true. Things are what they are no matter how you feel so is how you are feeling helping the situation or making the situation worse. If it is making the situation worse then it is a matter of looking at the situation knowing that it can't be changed and making a decision about how you want to deal with it from that place. One day at a time, one minute at a time, distraction even if the situation is a painful one or whatever else comes to mind. So you are accepting reality and finding a way to cope until the situation has passed or resolved on its own. Everything, and I mean everything in this life is temporary. At some point there is an end. Acceptance is about how we deal with what is in front of us until we reach that end.

As a side note though, acceptance is hard when what you need to accept is having depression. I am not sure if this is what that is about but I personally struggled with accepting my depression because who in their right mind would want to accept feeling bad but it isn't a matter of accepting the bad feelings but rather accepting that this is the situation I have to deal with it whether I like it or not so what am I going to do about it to try and heal it or even just make it a bit better.

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As you say, when you do the same thing over and over you stop getting results. Thats why you accept things, but I don't really think it's a choice. I can't choose to change how I feel, my feelings may change but it just happens.

I don't know maybe I am wrong but I struggle to see the purpose in accepting things, it feels more right to suffer right now.

I think it's more important to find some sense of being centered, hard to describe. I feel the best when I am honest with myself, even if it's extremley negative. It feels horrible to try and be positive and optimistic when I'm not. I am positive by taking action to fix my problems, not by sugar coating how I feel or "accepting" things.

Edited by TheDuke
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Ok I'm starting feel better now than 1 hour ago when I made this thread. This is what I hate, I never realize I'm in a bad mood until it's too late. I guess that's the way it is for me, depressional dips through out the day. A lot on here probably have it worse but it still sucks.

Usually I find my center as I wrote in previous post when listening to a song or something. Just zoning out.

Edited by TheDuke
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Glad to hear you are feeling better. You rode it out and that is all we need to do sometimes in regards to accepting a down mood. With time you may be able to spot your triggers but for now just remind yourself that you can ride it out. It won't last forever.

It's not about choosing how to feel but rather acknowledging this is how I feel and I have no choice right now but to feel this way. Now how do I want to handle that? Do I fight it or do I see what these horrible feelings are trying to say? When I first fell into severe depression I was terrified of what I was feeling. The pain was so intense and scary all I wanted was to be out of it but I could not change it. I could not just stop feeling the emotional pain so I had no choice but to ride it out. And by ride it out I mean I chose to let it come out. In the privacy of my own home when no one was around I allowed myself to have complete and total emotional screaming my head off crying out in pain meltdowns. It took quite a bit of time but after a while I actually came to see that the emotions weren't so scary after all. They were not comfortable and I am not happy when they are around but if I let them have a voice as opposed to try and force them away they can be released much sooner. And now I have moved on from trying to fight off the feelings. I have accepted that I will have an emotional breakdown from time to time. But I try and keep from prolonging my suffering when they do come knocking on my door by not engaging in demeaning self talk that would only make the situation worse and cause the emotions to spiral out of control. But it was only until I stopped fighting (accepted) having the emotions in the first place that I began to learn how to lesson the duration of the emotional crisis when it came. So maybe right now you are in a position where you will suffer and suffering is what you need to accept. So what can you do to possibly minimize it or make it a bit less difficult on you?

In general most people never chose to feel bad. It is not a choice to feel bad but sometimes we have to accept that we are going to feel bad because fighting against it only makes it worse. Suffering is not fun but there are things we can do to make it a little less uncomfortable, like simply slowing our breathing down and engaging in soothing self talk that serve to calm us, One thing I say all the time when I feel myself starting to spiral is, Calm down Michelle you are OK. After a while I start to feel OK. There are other things you can do too but the point is yes, you may need to accept that the situation you are in is going to cause you some pain but the pain isn't forever and maybe if you think about it there might be some tricks you can find that help you cope with something you do not like.

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