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I Don't Want To Do Anything


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At the moment, I feel like even if my performance at work reaches an exceptional level, no one will notice or care. People will just assume my performance to always be terrible because they don't like me. My superiors at work have personal reasons for disliking me, such as the fact that I'm very good friends with the person that one of them is in love with. So I will be constantly disadvantaged because of who my friends are, not because of my actual work performance. And I agreed to do this course through my employer a little while ago which I now realise is completely useless and serves only to take up my time. It's ironic, cause when I was offered the opportunity to do the course, I thought to myself "I don't do enough. I always so no to these things. So now I'm going to say yes!" Saying yes to this was the worst mistake ever. I've earned myself a whole lot more pointless work that has basically guaranteed I will have to work for these people for another two years. On top of this work crap I also have to go back to uni soon, doing a full time load of subjects while doing all this extra-curricular stuff. I also somehow got involved with a political party through my friends, and I'm being asked to do campaign related events for them which I personally just find embarrassing.

Please **** me.

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I am sorry to hear you are hurting. If you are at all suicidal please call one of the numbers scrolling above to help you get past any crisis. The thing I noticed from your post is that you have gotten yourself into a position of being overwhelmed but maybe are not sure how to back off on something. I would say rate your activities by priority and ask yourself truthfully do you need to do all of them. Can you let some of them go. School is important for your future but do you need a full load? Do you really need to help out with the campaign? There is no shame in telling your friends that you now have doubts in your ability to help out with your load as it stands and you simply must bow out for your health and well being. If they are true friends they will understand, and if not, then maybe you don't want them as friends anyways. Work is a bit trickier but sometimes we make assumptions about things without really discussing it with our superiors. If you feel you can, maybe speak to your boss about some of your concerns about your upcoming full school load and that you are concerned about meeting all your obligations and see what they have to say. I know it can be hard to speak up but sometimes we have to do it to keep ourselves afloat. Best of luck getting this worked out and please hang in there.

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