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james zhu

Read This Before Taking Wellbutrin

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I'm a male university student in his 2nd year in engineering. In high school I was a super weird kid because my mom is irresponsible and controlling. Kids wouldn't approve of my actions and I was ridiculed and bullied which caused me massive anxiety. I strove to overcome that and I read many self help books and watched self help videos. Because of this, right before university I lost most of my social weirdness and had the courage to interact with people and chat up girls. However, being a bit reckless in first year I decided with some of my new friends to smoke filter everyday. This drove me into a pit of despair and depression that I have never experienced before, I could barely think. When I came back from first year I was really depressed and anxious and my psychiatrist prescribed me an SSRI, this only gave me major headaches and I was unable to stay focused. So, a week in, I dropped them and went back to reading self help books and I also began to medicate. It required a couple months for me to return to being outgoing and to flirt with girls. I was doing great when I came back to university in second year! Then I convinced myself that I'd only smoke for frosh week, however that just continued to the end of December. By November, my social skills were pretty off. I'd be outgoing, only to doubt myself a bit and I'd come off weird and get bad responses from people. Anywho, I went to my psychiatrist almost 2 weeks ago, where I told him this and he prescribed me Wellbutrin 150mg "to take the edge off" of illegal drug withdrawal. He also told me there would be no major side effects and an adjustment period of 6-8 weeks. I was feeling major depression and I couldn't bring myself to do the things I used to love like studying, working out, chatting up girls or jamming on my piano. Feeling I had nothing to lose I started taking these pills. Now it's not like I have nothing to do during my school break, I have to review my notes from last term, apply for coop jobs and workout to stay in shape for my sports team. I trusted my doc to actually help me out so I could get my s*** together.

From the second day I started to take them, I was feeling increased brain fog and scatteredness and I became much more anxious. I was sleeping for 10 hours a day! When just before I started taking them I'd sleep for 5.5-8 hours. I became even more antisocial- just plain scared of people for no reason, just like I would feel when I was using filter. Off filter, that quickly went away. I became more depressed. Feeling "ok it'll get better soon enough" I continued to take Wellbutrin. This did not happen, I began to lash out at people I cared about, adding more strain to already fragile relationships. I was p***** off at them and I rationalized it. Yesterday I began taking 300mg and I had dinner with my grandma, she asked me a question which just immediately filled me with rage. Normally I'd feel a bit upset, but wouldn't bat an eye over it. I usually can handle my temper very well, being a child abuse victim I learned how to take a lot of s***. When I began feeling such anger, I knew I had to leave. It felt really out of control, so I left hurriedly in a fit.

So, yesterday evening I decided to do a little bit more research on this drug, which led me to stumble across this forum. Once I read a lot of these stories I laughed out loud. Guys, are you ****** serious? I have to go 8-10 weeks of these weird ass emotions before I feel "better" on drugs? The lesson I learned in 2014 was to NOT do any kinds of drugs, including filter. What makes these drugs ANY different? I'm looking for emotional consistency so people can trust me again. Do these psychiatrists honestly expect me to burn all my relationships to the ground before I feel "good". I understand that a lot of you guys actually do have actual disorders and feel that you require these types of meds. But for mild depression? I believe that Wellbutrin is bulls***. I made it through 9 days on this drug and I will not accept the irrational behaviour the "adjustment" causes. I am stopping immediately. And I'm instantly going to return to meditating 20 minutes a day and reading self help books in order to overcome my emotions instead of continuing to suppress them. Psychiatric practise is ****ED UP, a doctor shouldn't be prescribing such strong mood altering drugs for filter withdrawal. I see how powerful these pharma companies actually are now, holy s***. I was expecting this to be an upper, hoping it would be some sort of a "brain defogger" however I feel my doctor lied to my face and I need to tell others about this.

If you don't agree with me and think I should keep using these drugs, you shouldn't waste your typing. However, if you're in the same boat as I am with mild depression: e.g. NOT suicidal, not crying constantly or trying to harm yourself, but just feeling like you've lost your drive in life, these are some links I encourage you to check out.

[Edited out YouTube links as per ToS]

Edited by Lioninwinter
Youtube links, ToS

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Hi James,

Thanks for the input. I'm glad you find meditation helpful. I'd like to add to your advice, if you don't mind.

For anyone considering medication, I think doing your own research is important. But what I believe is crucial, is the dialog and relationship you have with your doctor, therapist or psychiatrist. Ask questions. As many as you can think of. Discuss the prescribed drug extensively. If you have doubts, take some time in making the decision. It's YOUR body. Everything we ingest will have an effect and or side effect.

Getting to a physically and emotionally healthy "place" is a different process for everyone. It can take a lot of time for some people, with or without medication.

Anyway, I hope you stick around. There are interesting topics and courageous people here. Congrats on your newfound mindfulness.

I believe that dismissing the entire Psychiatric field can be a bit discouraging. It's a part of the balance, don't you think?

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AD meds are no walk in the park. If you have mild depression or other issues that are not impacting your day to day life, you can work on those without meds- with therapy, self help, diet, life changes, etc. I tried this route for months until I got suicidal. My past with these drugs is not good- they never 'cured' me, they cause all sort of side effects, my sex life is pretty much nuked... BUT... the condition I get when I am not on these meds are much, much worse, from the promised anxiety which leads to lack of appetite and weight loss, unable to function at work and keep a job, to being able only go to the bathroom and maybe pet the cat, to finally loosing my 16 year marraige.

Each person needs to decide how bad their depression is and appropriate treatments, including medications. You need to weight the gains of the meds against the negatives that they will have.

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not a doc, but it sounds like you need meds and to understand it might take months to get the desired effect. None of the AD I have taken have done any good in the first week, most in fact caused more problems but after about three weeks things change for the better.

But that is just me, hope you get things sorted.

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