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Not Horribly Depressed But A Bit Down This Christmas...


octopus_pancake

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... bit hard to talk about, but my grandma had a heartattack a few days ago and has been in the hospital. We are making due but I'm drained, exhausted and trying to my damnedest to hold myself together. I just want to vent right now cause I'm upset. Well not so much upset than worried this might be my grandma's last christmas. As of writing this I'm fighting back tears so I remain strong. I can't break down just yet. There will be a time and place for this but I cannot while she's in the hospital. On the plus side she's doing much better since she was recieved. The relationship between me and my family is very, tense I guess you can say. We fight alot, me and my grandma butt heads alot, of course I feel bad now and all that, but I love my grandma very much. I hate seeing her this weak, this is a 91 year old woman who dances every other tuesday, one of THE strongest people I've ever met. She's fighting and D***it as long as she's fighting I'm going to remain strong. I have to. Anyway I hope everyone else is having a very merry christmas, don't let depression get you down, if you are alone, remember you are never alone. The Good Lord is always with you and He loves you and is there for everyone, just call on Him!

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Thank you for the thoughts. Sadly we don't know how long she will last, she has massive blockage in her heart, while they put 4 stents in we just don't know anything. They haven't really been saying anything along the lines of how long they expect her to be able to put up the good fight. I don't know if she will last another whole year I do believe she will last a few monthes. And with a little luck she won't be affected too much, with her daily needs and whatnot. I just hope she will be able to do a bit of dancing with her group of friends. If not i would like it at least if she could get out there a few more times etc... I mean at the rate she's getting better, she might be out of the hospital by next monday. Crossing fingers :).

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well a minor update. About a week ago they released her from the hospital and she's in a nursing rehabilitation center. She's weak and whatnot but for now she's ok. Still hard on all of us seeing her like that. And it breaks my heart when she sits there saying she's dying, not to forget her etc... I mean first off, me and her have had so many fights how could I forget her :P. She's a very influential woman mind you, at 91 she was dancing, she's danced all her life but man I've never seen anyone her age dancing like she did. So much spunk for such a person, but seeing her the way she is just very hard to watch. However I must remain strong, now isn't the time for tears. I need to be as strong as I possibly can.

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