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Stan Islavski

Feeling Unimportant - An Open Discussion

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One of the many layers to my depression (labeling it any further than that right now is futile) is feeling like I am unimportant in the grand scheme of things. That alone is not really what I am struggling with right now. It is how to manage it.

In my case, I feel unimportant all the time. As a result I put others' needs ahead of mine. And when someone discusses their problems, I often feel like my problems aren't so horrible. So I should just shut my mouth and suck it up. But then I feel even more depressed because I don't allow myself to talk about my issues out of fear I will appear/feel petty.

I know I'm not alone with this. So I'm just wondering how others might have come to manage this sort of thing. I mean the "right" thing to do when depressed is to talk with someone. But if that results in feeling petty, we can feel even worse. And if we don't talk at all, we can feel even worse.

Thoughts?

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Greetings Stan,

Even though I cannot claim to know you very well, I would maintain that you are "very important" in the scheme of things. I know we live in a technological age when a thing's value is often reduced to its usefulness [the idea that people are tools]; but I think that viewpoint is at least questionable.

From the point of view of your "being" [not the realm of "doing" or "having"] you are an absolutely one-of-a-kind being in the universe. There has never been anyone exactly like you before in all eternity and there will never again be anyone exactly like you in eternity. You, in your very being bring something absolutely unique, irreplaceable and never to be repeated again . . . into the cosmos: a being, a truth, a beauty, a goodness. You were placed into this universe the same as the law of gravity was. You are a law in exactly the sense that gravity is a law. The whole universe has made a place for you and yields a space for your being.

Sometimes the realm of quantity can obscure the realm of quality. Although a rock in space or a gaseous cloud might dwarf you in quantitative magnitude, you are qualitatively more complex than any rock no matter how enormous it is. I think that for all of these reasons and others too that you have an inalienable dignity, beauty and worth in the universe.

Feelings are certainly important sources of information, but just because we feel something doesn't automatically make it true. One can feel "unimportant," feel it deeply and vividly and forcefully and yet it can be untrue. Know what I mean?

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