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gbrown254

Envious Of Friends

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I'm in my mid 20's,and have been struggling with depression and anxiety for a few years. Because of this, i find myself in a part time dead end job, no degree and pretty much no savings as i live with my partner in a flat. I often compare myself to my friends who have degrees, really good jobs with a good income and plenty of future prospects. I cannot stop being envious of them which results in a slight hatred feeling that I'm nowhere near where i want to be. Is there anything i can do about this or is it to be expected?

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From the little bit you said, I would guess that there will ALWAYS be someone you are going to be envious of. If you achieved all the successes your friends have, I bet you would still find someone to be envious of.

So my advice is to first realize that this is the way your brain is wired, and accept that it does not necessarily reflect reality.

Second would be to determine what's important to you, and go after it. I know it's cliche. But I'm 40 and have been chasing after other peoples' successes my entire life. The times when I was most happy, was when I was chasing after my own passions (and marking those success along the way). It didn't matter what it was, or how much/little income it produced. It was all about me. It was selfish, but not in an unhealthy way. It was just me taking care of myself. And that can be a pretty powerful thing.

Yes, these feelings of envy will return from time to time. No, they are not the answer the all your problems. But they are a large piece of the puzzle. And like most everything else we have to manage, it is important that we recognize them and deal with them appropriately when they arise.

Good luck!

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When you're a teenager, you're presented with thousands of roadsto take with future.

If you choose one, in your twenties and after you'll live in regret of all of the other paths you didn't take, and watch others reap the rewards of their life choices, rewards that you may never have. Your luxuries will be different, and they'll envy them.

Let it go. You can't be jealous of a small part of someone's life, there's so much more involved. So many sacrifices and compromises, so many things don't go according to plan. Just live your life, and make it yours. It'll be richer than your neighbour's.

And it's normal to be stuck in a dead end job at this age; what I said about there being thousands of roads to take has the downside of not giving us a clear path forward. You don't know which road to take, so you stand around waiting to decide, and the years fall by. It happens. Give it time. Keeping pushing for something better, but give it time. You'll find your place in life, and your career.

Edited by MrMisery

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I can completely agree with you. I went Christmas shopping today and just walking through the mall everyone was so happy and buying nice items. Me on the other hand, I was so annoyed with the crowds couldn't wait to get out. I was envious of how normal and happy these people were. Me on the other hand, I work a dead end job, have little money, and have just let myself go.

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I'm also envious of others and sad about the way my life has turned out. I try to remind myself of the many things I have achieved. Currently I'm not very depressed but I have been in the past., Therefore the very fact of being alive and not as physically ill as I could have been if I had let depressipn really get the better of me should mean I have succeed. Sometimes I can believe I am a success.

I try to remember that I only see the outside of most people. Some may be suffering with depression themselves. Some may have a good job, but actually be out of their depth and just holding on to that job.

There isn't a good solution. One thing I am doing is learning about meditation. There are some Eastern traditions where there is less emphasis on individual success and maybe less tendency to compare yourself with others. It's hard, but I'm having a try.

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