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I Dont Think I Can Take Much More


fishy86

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I go in to my boring, menial, pointless job every day.

I hate every second of it, my job is literally ticking boxes, and asking people if price differences are acceptable. I feel so pathetic doing this it really gets me down, the fact I screwed up so much of my education and life that I am now trapped doing this pointless admin job.

This makes me very frustrated and angry/tense that I have zero responsibility and nobody takes me seriously. I admit in part this is because I do tend to 'messaround' and tell stupid stories which I make up, as I have about 6 hours of free time just sitting at the desk with nothing to do, apart from pointless things like laminating bits of paper for other people. I cantg exactly look for another job there as IT can see what we have been looking at online and I dont want to get into trouble and as I am 28, university drop out and 6 months work experience of doing this I wont be able to get another job anyway.

As I am so unstimulated I day dream alot and come up with weird stories (i am really weird anyway for various reasons).

My collegues probably find me very annoying and I know they are all very Biotchy as they are constantly Biotching about someone or other so I am rpetty certain they do it about me behind my back all the time.

My coworkers are also very old fashioned and do not have time for anybody with addictions or mental health problems so I do not feel I could ever bring these issues up at work but both of these issues have lead me to ruin my life so what do I do?

It is getting to the point that I can barely find the motivation to get up and go in, as I just hate being there doing nothing sooo much. I also tend to ask a lot of questions about the business and why they do things a certain way etc and this gets on my coworkers nerves,

Being 28 and doing this job and living with my parents at my age is really getting me down. I really dont think I can really go on like this....

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Are you able to talk with a therapist or psychiatrist?

What have you been looking at online that would get you in trouble?

Is there another job in a different field that you may be interested in trying? What you described as your current job sounds mind-numbing and like a toxic work environment.

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Ermm I had lots of therapy already, before the summer I was referred to a 'high intensity' worker but I didnt feel it was working as we didnt really connect and then I went away travelling. I dont really have the time or money for therapy - i work full time and do a crappy college course part time.

I mean if I looked up different jobs I might get fired for looking for a new job or something as I am technically still on my probationary period. Plus, is anyone else realistically going tobe interested in employing me with 6 months work experience in a dead end essentially office junior type job, thats all ive got and im 29 in a few weeks :(.

It really is just getting to the point where i do think just taking all my tablets may well be the only answer as I dont think ive gone more than 3 months ever in my life without feeling extremely hopeless and miserable ad just like a total failure.

Edited by fishy86
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