I'm Not Feeling Great And Everything Feels Lonely And Linear

[will59]

Hey, I guess I'm just gonna right this one out of me; excuse the rant. I'm just quite lonely at the moment and there's looming exams which are making me feel on edge and stupid. I've recently gone to university but I'm back now for the holidays. The only thing I'm really good at is my subject but, as I premeditated, now I'm at university in the mix with people equal and better than me that manage to have hobbies and skills and genuine interests, I'm not feeling so proud. No one really wants to talk to me and I don't know what to do in the day. It all feels a bit pointless at the moment. It's not even like I can blame this on anything; I am a lazy individual and other people have told me how lazy and boring I know I am, it isn't just me that thinks this. I have no abilities. It's nothing I can't manage, it just feels sour. I don't feel terrible though, just muted; I wouldn't go as far as say I'm suffering really just a little upset at times. Sorry for the direction less post.

Edited December 12, 2014 by will59

[taysmom1016]

Will, I don't believe you are lazy, you are depressed and depression makes you lazy (trust me, I decorated my house for Christmas over a week ago and my empty tubs are still in my living room and my house is a mess). I think you're just feeling a little overwhelmed right now...it's been a while since I was in school but I can remember this time of the year being very rough. Take the holidays to rejuvenate, relax, reconnect with old friends, do things you enjoy and when you get back to school, hold your head up, smile at people and start back with a "can do" attitude. Even if it doesn't feel natural at first, find something you enjoy, go for a walk, listen to music. Don't depend on other people to make you happy because that usually leads to disappointment.

I hope you'll feel better soon and don't feel bad about the rant, that's what this forum is for!

[will59]

Will, I don't believe you are lazy, you are depressed and depression makes you lazy (trust me, I decorated my house for Christmas over a week ago and my empty tubs are still in my living room and my house is a mess). I think you're just feeling a little overwhelmed right now...it's been a while since I was in school but I can remember this time of the year being very rough. Take the holidays to rejuvenate, relax, reconnect with old friends, do things you enjoy and when you get back to school, hold your head up, smile at people and start back with a "can do" attitude. Even if it doesn't feel natural at first, find something you enjoy, go for a walk, listen to music. Don't depend on other people to make you happy because that usually leads to disappointment.

I hope you'll feel better soon and don't feel bad about the rant, that's what this forum is for!

Thank-you, this is really nice. I am spending too much time alone at the moment but hopefully that will improve soon. I thought it would be even slightly comforting to feel like this but it isn't like last time. I've tried walking lots and listening to music and reddit but it isn't helping, it's just passing time. Everyone says exercise or do something that you'll enjoy but it's all a bit too pointless at the moment. Because I'm not working that efficiently, I need to spend a long time sat at my desk to do the tiniest amount of work. This exam isn't that important but it's all I really have. Again, thank-you for the kind words; I will try to do something about this.

[hisam]

It's almost scary because what you described is exactly me. I'm in law school, and its the last week of the semester, so there are a few exams coming up... And I just can't bring myself to study properly, or do anything? And whenever I try I get just a tiny bit done, since I'm so slow at studying because I just can't concentrate for a long time. I was known for being quite smart in high school but people at university are just a lot better than me, and they actually get things done without all of this drama, and they have personalities, lots of friends... I don't know, dude, it's like everything feels pointless and I just want to blank my mind and not deal with it.

The lazy thing haunts me too: I always blame myself and get annoyed even though it's "a part" of depression (maybe 'lazy' isn't the right word). I don't like the idea of "accepting" it though so I always fall into blaming and hating myself.

This probably didn't help at all, haha, I just had to get it off my chest! Your post actually made me sign in to this forum :)

Hopefully we'll get better soon! :3

Edited December 13, 2014 by hisam