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Anhedonia Back Because Of Emotional Trauma


smithci

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Hi

I also posted this in the central forum but I thought I should post here as I've had anhedonia for the most part of this year. It also rings true as to how emotional trauma can numb us to good feelings...

I have not been on the forum for a while as I truly believed my depression had lifted, infact I didn't even think about

I had a nightmare with depression the first 6 months this year , trying different meds , battling suicidal thoughts etc. I then in June decided to give up on meds and treat the depression though diet and amino acids. I used to the book 'The way up from down' by Patricia Slagle. It worked!!! My sleeping was still bad but everything else was great... I mean really great and the sleep did not bother me at all.

I then got talking to an absolutely amazing girl online. We spoke none stop for 2 months but we only met up twice, Our interests and sense of humour were so much a like. This was a massive spring in my step. Other little flings I've had random feelings of guilt about my ex but never with her. I was just so happy.

Unfortunately she said she couldn't be in a dating situation because she had guilt about her ex, they were together for over 10 years. I was OK at first but then I noticed she was still on the dating website. I eventually lost it with her and said she should forget about me. Maybe I was trying play her a little. She claimed she was just laughing at the idiots on there messaging her, but the low self esteem negative side of my didn't believe it. She was always so nice to me and I threw it back in her face.. I even deleted her off my facebook. I immediately apologized the following day, she was OK and we were talking again as normal.

A week later I posted some photos of a vacation I'd recently been on. I told her about the facebook delete during my rage. Then I got no replies, like at all. She ignored me on whatsapp and ignored my calls. I said look if you do not want to talk just say and I'll sadly be on my way. But no ackowledgement at all.

I said look I'm tempted to call round to your house please just talk to me. So I did call round but no answer, I know it was wrong now but the jetlag and hangover I was in a really bad way. She then appeared to have blocked me on facebook, dating site and whatsapp. I tried sending her a little thing from my holidays but she just returned it.

Since then i cannot stop ruminating about it and cant get any feelings of pleasure anymore : ( I am not going on meds but i have started IPT therapy. I'm waking earlier and earlier in the mornings too , I'm still exercising etc but i'm getting really exhausted.

How do I stop the ruminating and get over an amazing person that wont talk to me and hates me??

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Thanks for the reply..

The problem for me is that was had a ridiculous amount in common so now I am surrounded by constant reminders and triggers about her.

There's no way I'll be going back on meds. They numb you out too much from experience and cause other problems to worry about .

I went to boxer fit tonight and was thinking about things as I hit the bags. It definitely helped as depression is definately anger turned inwards.

I was on a waiting list for therapy and I've just started sessions. So I'm gonna mention some of this to her tommorow..

Thanks again

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  • 1 month later...

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