Jump to content

So How Do You Get A Support System?


Recommended Posts

You know I wish I could be like some of you guys. I wish I could have a significant other, family, friends, therapist, etc. to depend on. Sadly, I don't, which is why depression is a very difficult struggle day to day for me.

...And besides depression I also have social anxiety, poor social skills, and a lack of confidence, which happy people often tend to bully me for.

...I have pretty much failed to make friends in person, but...

...I can't seem to get a start at these things.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't have any close friends in the area anymore. Family is too hard to talk to and I have no significant other. A therapist is out of the question since I'm not earning money or have insurance. It would be nice to have a few friends I could turn to. There are some nice people here as well. I'm also going through much of what you are so you can PM me if you need someone to talk to.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You know I wish I could be like some of you guys. I wish I could have a significant other, family, friends, therapist, etc. to depend on. Sadly, I don't, which is why depression is a very difficult struggle day to day for me.

...And besides depression I also have social anxiety, poor social skills, and a lack of confidence, which happy people often tend to bully me for.

...I have pretty much failed to make friends in person, but...

...I can't seem to get a start at these things.

Well, you're here, so you HAVE started!

Welcome.

How about coworkers?

Do you have a therapist or counselor?

Can you find some time to do volunteer work?

How about joining a club or organization or team that is centered around an interest of yours?

Stay in touch, my friend!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hear you both. "Get a support system!" is the throwaway solution of the week, it seems. Some of us, despite our best efforts to try - CAN'T find the right people to confide in. Sure, we can meet people and make friends, but it can take a long time before you trust someone enough to get the idea that they might want to be there for you if you need them. It's quite a jump, and not something that just happens overnight (at least not that I've ever experienced, at least). I want to gnash my teeth down to nubs when I hear people preaching the gospel of support groups magically changing them, too. I'm unable to find such a group, since I live in a country where fellow foreigners like me shun each other or go to the bar to drown their sorrows in alcoholism, and the local people are still unable to accept mental illness and depression are things that should not be ignored or brushed under the rug. That's not even to mention the problem with anxiety disorders that can stop people who need to reach out from doing it because they're too terrified to. I am one of these. It's all fine and well to tell someone to "be proactive", but for those of us with crippling anxiety, it just can't happen. People who haven't experienced it will never be able to empathize, and when they set to start impatiently lecturing you about how you're just "not trying hard enough"...yeah, that's when I tune out. Getting tired of people minimizing it.

I wish I had the answer. I have no idea how to get a support system together. I have always tried to follow the golden rule of making good friends by being a good friend, but it usually lands me getting used and taken advantage of by the person I spend time trying to be a good friend to. So much for taking the initiative there.

Here's hoping we can all get through this together. *hugs*

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Im just gonna say this - friends are overrated. You can live without them. Focus on your family and also focus on yourself. Improving your state and becoming happy will help you find a significant other. Once you are happy with yourself and love yourself you will be able to love someone else too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Im just gonna say this - friends are overrated. You can live without them. Focus on your family and also focus on yourself. Improving your state and becoming happy will help you find a significant other. Once you are happy with yourself and love yourself you will be able to love someone else too.

I don't have family as an option. They were abusive people I can't handle anymore.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My mother has always been there from the start. There were times we did not get along at all, but i could always go to her with anything, and i do mean anything. She had me when she just turned 18 so now that we are older, our age difference does not seem like anything at all.

My second support came when i sought out therapy. I then looked on the internet for mens depression support groups and found one in the area and just showed up one night. I heard about co dependence and started attending those meetings and met some people my age and we connected, and lastly i found this place.

I started with nothing and now have some support at least. There are RARE times where no one is available, but for the most part i can at least get one person. It has made a difference in my steps to recovery and dealing with every day stuff.

But it took me getting out there and seeking it for it to happen because none of that would have come knocking at my front door.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...