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How Do We Still Fight Despite Our Depression?


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Now how is it that people with depression/emotional numbness and/or with any other type of suffering are able to still have a positive perspective in life and are able to find value and worth in their lives anyway? It would be because they think that suffering and despair has value/worth and somehow think that they are stronger and better people for having gone through it and for moving forward in life despite of it. But not me. I have no such value whatsoever towards suffering and despair nor towards myself for having gone through any of it and having had made the best of my life despite of it. I have made a few topics back explaining why this is which were topics made that were intended to get through to people who say that I am strong and that my suffering/despair does have value. Although these topics were offensive (which I apologize), these topics were still intended to get through to these types of people once and for all because I am tired of people telling me this. But this time, I am not going to offend others and am just going to explain why suffering and despair is pointless and has no greater benefit than living a nice happy life of little suffering and despair. I don't care what benefit you have achieved through a life of suffering and despair--these same benefits can be achieved just as good (and even better) through living a nice happy life of little suffering and despair. Also, another thing that makes peoples lives worth living anyway despite their depression/emotional numbness is being able to focus on the good things in life that can be cherished despite your suffering and depression. But as for me, I am a hedonist and pleasure is the only thing that allows me to view anything in life as being good. But since I am chronically emotionally numb and have no pleasure whatsoever all day everyday (not even for a few brief seconds), my life is truly worthless. The only thing that makes my life worth living now is trying to fully regain the very thing that made my life worth living for in the first place (which is my pleasure). I will now live my life only for the sake of trying to fully recover my lost pleasure through therapies and medication and nothing else.

If you are also going to say something such as that it is a fact that having suffering and despair in your life makes you a better person as well as a more compassionate person as opposed to living a nice happy life of little suffering and despair, this would be false. A person who suffers and goes through despair might become hateful towards others and take their suffering and despair out on others (even towards those who suffer the same things as this person). Also, if you are a psychopath, then suffering and despair is likely not to increase your compassion or make you a better person. It would be likely to make you less compassionate and make you even more of a psychopath. However, becoming hateful towards others and becoming less compassionate here is a choice. Therefore, it is also a choice as to whether you can be a much better person and have much more compassion through living a nice happy life as opposed to a life of suffering and depair. If you are also going to say something such as that if it weren't for your suffering and despair, that you would of never even made the choice in becoming the better person with much more compassion, this would also be false. You can make this choice through living a nice happy life of little suffering and despair under the right circumstances.
Knowing what it's like to suffer is not necessary in becoming a more compassionate person compared to how compassionate you would be through living a nicer and happier life. For example, different people have different capacities to experience compassion. A person who knows what it's like to suffer might very well have a lot of compassion. But a person who does not know what it's like to suffer could have even more compassion just because this person's mind has a natural greater capacity to experience compassion. Or it could be because this person just simply changed his/her attitude. Therefore, it is not necessary to suffer and you can have more empathy, compassion, be more caring, and help even more people through living a nicer and happier life.
Now I as I said before, I am a hedonist with depression and severe chronic anhedonia (emotional numbness) and I view pleasure as the greatest thing in life. For me to find greater value in other things in life besides pleasure would make me the lesser person with a truly worthless life for abandoning the greatest aspect of me as a human being (which is my pleasure) which is the only thing to me that makes my life worth living. I would also be delusional (based on my hedonistic belief) for finding things in life of greater value and that my life is somehow worth living without my pleasure.
Now if you are going to say something to me such as that:
"Also go pursue you're nice happy blissful life....good for you if you find a cure to all your ailments and don't experience any pain or suffering anymore. I myself am going to keep a realistic perspective and realize my life is going to continue being difficult and i'll just have to get by as best I can and find some enjoyment along the way hopefully leave a positive impression on some people or help some before my time in this world is over."
What I would have to say against that is that I do not see anything good whatsoever in realizing that your entire life will be a life of despair and suffering that never fully recovers (even if you were to make the best of your life in trying to experience pleasure despite your life of despair and suffering). The only thing good here would be being able to experience pleasure despite your suffering and despair--that's it. The suffering and despair itself and the realization that your entire life will consist of suffering and despair--there is nothing good about that whatsoever since, as I've explained in my writing, there is nothing good and no greater benefit through living a life of suffering and despair. As I've said before, there are people who do fully recover even after many years of suffering and despair. But even if it were somehow delusional in thinking that you might fully recover later in life, you would be far better off being delusional.
Finally, if you are going to say something such as that it's just my obsession over pleasure that is making me view pleasure as the greatest thing in life and that if I were to instead focus on other things, that these things would eventually have the greater value in life instead, this would be false. It's my own personal profound and meaningful experience of pleasure that makes it the greatest thing in life to me. Even if I were to instead solely focus on other things, I would still never view anything else in life as having the greater value than pleasure or having any value at all for that matter. These things would never even make my own life worth living without my pleasure regardless of how much focus I put into these things. Therefore, I will always remember my personal experience of pleasure and just how great it was and how much it made my life worth living and I will never forget that.
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