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Feeling Ecstatic


Saliency

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I've posted about this briefly before. I'm starting to wonder if I'm bipolar and if maybe I should get a psychiatrist who actually wants to listen to me for more than 5 minutes before he sends me away with a prescription for old school neuroleptics. Sometimes, like tonight, after an event that would make most people maybe a little bit happier, I get this extreme emotional response where I feel some kind of transcendence into inhuman ecstasy. It's a beautiful feeling. But it's distracting and short-lived. I was supposed to stay up all night to catch up on work before heading in to uni tomorrow, but now I'm too stimulated to concentrate. I just want to dance and play the same happy music on repeat. This feeling is intense and beautiful. But at the same time, it saddens me that it will fade within an hour, and then it'll be weeks again before I feel this happy. Only hours ago, I was seriously depressed. Sinking back into thoughts of suicide and having no motivation to do anything. Now I just feel so happy and content. I can't handle these mood swings though. My perspective on all the events in my life completely changes from mood to mood, and it leaves me with no idea of what the right decision is or how I should actually be feeling about certain things. It really makes me feel like I'm going crazy and that reality is so subjective I'm losing touch with it. What's next? Hallucinations?

Does anyone else have this problem with mood swings? I don't know what's right because my feelings about things and people keep changing with my mood! I have no idea what decisions I should be making and I can't remember what normal feels like.

Edited by Saliency
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Yes I do have the same swings, but I'm not bipolar. My highs doesn't go into mania or hypomania, except once in the past year and it was short lived. I don't get like this very often and it typically last for a few days but it has lasted up to a couple of weeks. And I too still have an uneasy feeling because I know it is just temporary before depression comes back. It is this that makes me feel like I'm going out of my mind.

I'm sorry I can't give you any positive input on this because I'm still trying to figure it out myself.

I wish you the best of luck.

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